


From Archangel to Trickster to Daddy... Thanks Chuck

by darkroses



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Bathing/Washing, Daddy Gabriel, De-Aged Dean, De-Aged Sam Winchester, Fear of Flying, Little Sam, Men of Letters, Mental Health Issues, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rejection, Revenge, Sam has Nightmares, Season/Series 11 Spoilers, Stuffed Animal Abuse, Stuffed Toys, potty training
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2018-07-11 13:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 54,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7053031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkroses/pseuds/darkroses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel was brought back by Chuck for a very special purpose, he was tasked with helping Sam grow up again after being cursed. Sam misses Dean and he has all the memories of the Cage, hunts, and being abandoned. </p><p>Gabriel has to sort through all of that and hopefully raise someone that isn't a crazy killer. He has his work cut out for him. And add to that, Dean might try to kill him.</p><p>* This work likely won't be updated until May 2017. Capstone is killing all creative thought for this author.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Gabriel had spent millions of years hiding from his brothers only to be killed by Lucifer while he attempted to protect two of Daddy’s favorites. He wasn’t sure why he like the Winchesters so much. Actually, it was Sam he liked. Gabriel was fine with killing Dean over and over and over again. Not like he would ever do anything like that…again.

Anyways, dear old Dad resurrected him with the help of Auntie Amara. The fact that Amara was out of her box was enough to cause Gabriel to do a double take but Dad always knew what was best. He found out in short order that this was Dean’s fault. It was beside the point that Sam, Castiel, Crowley, and Gabriel’s guilty pleasure of Rowena all helped. It was Dean’s fault and that was that.

Dad had a reason for resurrecting him and it wasn’t to continue his reign has trickster. Nope, it was for his parenting skills. Gabriel had raised three tykes as Loki and God thought he did a good job. Some people might argue that one but they all seemed well adjusted considering and Hell even got its name from his daughter. Gabriel was something of a proud father. Which brought him back to why he was alive again.

The Men of Letters London, AKA one of Gabriel’s favorite dick targets, was part of the reason. Prior to Gabriel’s death, he enjoyed messing with them. He stole their tea. He wrote sigils to turn their tea to salt. He changed all of their books to Enochian. He poisoned their first born. He killed their significant others… slowly and oddly. Gabriel’s personal favorite was the one that died in a blueberry orchard puffed up like a large round blueberry. Admittedly, he stole the idea from Willy Wonka, but it was still funny to him.

These douche bags, who haven’t had their douchery checked since Gabriel died, got ahold of Sam and cast a spell (that somehow wasn’t in Enochian) and regressed Sam back to that of a three-year-old. It was permanent or so he was told. Gabriel was 99 percent sure Dad could reverse it because Dad was God or Auntie Amara could. But that didn’t seem like that was going to happen.

Gabriel got resurrected to look after a little Sam in a big Sam body. He didn’t know if Sam would grow up again or if he would be like this forever. Gabriel also didn’t know why Dad didn’t just have Mary Winchester raise her son since Amara brought her back. It didn’t matter, though, because Gabriel had to meet his little boy after he rescued Sammy of course.

It was easy enough to find Sam. The little boy was in the Men of Letters bunker in London. He removed all of the wardings and zapped in the kids of the assholes into the bunker with him. Gabriel whistled until he had their attention. The blonde bitch that kidnapped Sam came into view first. He smiled at her and snapped his fingers as he sent her and her son on a boat in the middle of the ocean stocked with candy and soda.

He sent over members and their kid to third world countries, war-torn countries, and one pair he even dumped in the queen’s underground bunker after he set the alarm off. All said, it would take a while to get the Men of Letters London back up to speed. He turned his attention to the books in their library and with a flash of his eyes, he burned every single one of them. He burned every record, every note card, everything that contained any of the data they collected. He destroyed all of their treasures, all of their cursed objects, all of their secrets. They were no longer keepers of the word, rather, they were rich assholes with a bunker now.

Gabriel smote the monsters they kept on lockdown and then he finally reached Sammy. Not only did they regress Sammy to the age of three, they also changed him up like an animal and left him in a dark room. Sammy’s eyes glowed yellow. It was an indicator that Sam had never been quite human, no matter how much he tried to _normal._ Gabriel used his grace to snap Sam and himself out of the bunker and to a safe house no one could ever find. Before he left to let Sam live out his life in safety, Gabriel used his grace to burn the houses of the Men of Letters to the ground. All of the Men of Letters, every single one from around the world.

++

Sam blinked around where he was. He didn’t get it really. He was in a scary place now he was some place different and he didn’t know how he got here. Sam started crying as he looked at the man next to him. He whined, “Daddy?”

The man blinked a couple times and repeated, “Da.. Daddy?”

Sam threw his arms around the man and sniffled, “Daddy.”

++

Gabriel pressed two fingers to Sam’s forehead and put the kid to sleep. Then he yelled, “Dad.”

His dad actually showed up which was impressive in and of itself. Chuck asked nervously, “Yes Gabriel? You seem angry.”

Gabriel sighed and ran a hand over his face. He explained calmly, “I am not mad. It’s just.. Why is Sam calling me Daddy? Why isn’t Mary Winchester taking care of him? Or you know, his actual father?”

Chuck smiled and walked over to Sam. He brushed a hand through Sam’s hair and Gabriel watched Chuck pull out the pieces of Sam that made him unclean and unhuman. It left Sam being nothing but human. No demon blood. No taint to his soul. Just the soul of a young boy and one that still remembered everything. Chuck didn’t remove Sam’s memories of the cage, of the torture, of his entire family dying, of all the times as an adult and a child Sam failed his big brother. All of that was still inside Sam’s mind.

After Chuck was done, he stepped away from Sam. Chuck sounded sad, “It is because of the spell. They wanted to lure Lucifer so they did this. The spell makes Sam believe that an archangel, the first one he sees, to be his father. I didn’t want Lucifer to get to him. Michael and Rafael would just kill him. Lucifer would torture and then kill him. So that left you, I know you liked Sam and now is your chance to raise him.”

Gabriel stared for a moment and asked, “So he will grow up?”

Chuck nodded and smiled, “Yes, he will. I could reverse the spell, but letting it play out will make his soul stronger and shine brighter.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes and muttered, “Like the Morning Star.”

Chuck smiled and admitted, “I made Sam as I made Lucifer. Sam is what Lucifer was before the mark changed him. Sam will never have the mark. He is good and I am certain you will be a good father to him.”

Gabriel nodded and stated, “And I am sure Deano is going to be A-Okay with me raising his baby brother.”

 Chuck laughed, “No, he won’t be. But let Sam grow up before you worry about Dean.”

++

Gabriel zapped himself back to his safe house. He glanced at the sleeping overgrown child on the floor. He knew he had to get Sam into bed. Humans were rather temperamental about that sort of thing. Gabriel wandered into an empty bedroom. He’d used it as a sex playroom, his own candy store, and a dungeon to torment people. Now, though, he had to make it the perfect little boy’s room.

He snapped his fingers and created a twin size bed and a desk. Gabriel frowned and snapped his fingers again making the bed full size. Sam was a large man and twin size bed wouldn’t be large enough if Sam wanted to cuddle. Gabriel tried to think of what theme the room should be done in. Dragons were out because Sam had actually killed a dragon. He supposed that made Sam a knight but he didn’t want to trigger any nightmares. The boy was terrified of clowns so that was out.

Gabriel thought back to all of his time spying on Sam. Sam had a love of the stars in the sky. He snapped his fingers and the walls were a painted in a vibrant aurora and the ceiling was covered in the stars. He opted for bedding that matched the aurora. It did look a little dark to Gabriel so he snapped up a stuffed dog that was just the right cuddling size for Sam. With that in mind, he created a toy box. It was empty for now but once he knew the toys the boy wanted it would be filled. Then as an afterthought, Gabriel created a bookshelf and filled it with picture books and books with short stories.

He made his way out into the living room and used his grace to wake Sam up. It was cheating but he didn’t want to scare the boy. Sam was in a strange place, after all. Sam blinked his eyes open at him and frowned. Then the tears started, “I tried, Daddy.”

Gabriel smiled and was glad he was an angel. He easily picked up the six foot four man as Sam wrapped his arms around him. Gabriel knew they must look ridiculous but no one was here to judge them. He rocked Sam in his arms as he walked back to the bedroom. He said softly, “Let me get my little boy to bed then.”

Sam buried his face in Gabriel’s neck and protested weakly, “No!”

Gabriel chuckled and laid Sam down on the bed. The tears stopped as Sam took in the room. That bought Gabriel enough time to get pajamas and a diaper for Sam. He didn’t want Sam waking up in a soiled bed. Granted, he could use his grace to fix it but he didn’t want Sam to fret. Gabriel made his way back to Sam and started undressing the boy.

Sam was compliant and didn’t fuss. Even when he was naked a boy, he still just laid there and took in the room. Gabriel stared at Sam’s junk for a moment. He suspected the hair might cause a rash. Gabriel really wanted to avoid unnecessary problems. He touched Sam’s hip and used his grace to remove it. Sam didn’t even notice which he was grateful for. He had no idea how he would explain vanishing pubic hair. That said, he did make sure that the unwanted hair wouldn’t grow back until he decided. Perks of being an angel.

He secured the diaper around his boy and pulled on some pajama pants. They were a plain dark blue but Sam’s night sure had a picture of Saturn on it. Gabriel didn’t use a picture humans took of Saturn for his boy. Nope, it was one of his favorites from his collection that he took long before Sam was ever born and long before humans invented the camera.

Once his boy was dressed, he helped Sam under the covers and handed him his stuffed dog. He brushed Sam’s hair back and said softly, “Get some rest, Champ.”

Sam pouted and clutched the stuffed dog, “De?”

Gabriel continued brushing his hand through Sam’s hair. He kept his voice gentle. “Dean isn’t here. He’s away on very important business.”

Sam shook his head and whined. He pointed at himself and said sternly for a three-year-old, “De take care of Sammy.”

Gabriel chuckled and kissed Sam’s forehead. The boy looked at him confused for a moment then Gabriel said softly but firmly, “No Sammy, Daddy takes care of Sammy.” He paused and added, “I am and will always take care of you.”

Sam frowned and fidgeted in bed. He looked up at Gabriel and asked innocently, “Bedtime song?”

Gabriel used his grace to turn off the light in the room. Then he lit up the stars on the ceiling. Sam watched the ceiling as Gabriel laid down next to him. Then Gabriel actually started to sing. Angels, particularly Seraphs, were known to sing their praise to God. Singing would be more Castiel’s thing than his. He was an archangel. He was supposed to be a fierce archangel, but for now, he was the father to a human. A very special human. He sang the Enochian alphabet. He figured he would do some testing tomorrow to see if his true voice hurt Sam but for now, he used a very human version of his voice.

He had to sing the alphabet 19 times before the little boy found sleep. Gabriel looked at the sleeping man next to him and he had no idea how to do this right. When Sam grew up again, he didn’t want the man to hate him. Gabriel had no idea why it mattered so much to him, but perhaps it was because his dad gave him back his life to caring for this simple human with a very complicated life.  


	2. Chapter 2

Sam woke up in the strange bedroom as the light started to filter through the window. He watched the window for a few moments as he snuggled with his stuffed dog. He decided to name it Riot. Sam seemed to think he had a real dog named that once, but he wasn’t sure. That could have been a dream or something.

He turned in bed and his bottom felt wet which he didn’t like and he was alone which he also didn’t like. Sam sat up as he rubbed a little more sleep out of his eyes and searched the room for Dean. His big brother was absent which made Sam’s tummy feel funny. Sam remembered always sharing a room with Dean. Except sometimes and those sometimes were bad times that Sam didn’t want to think about.

Sam slowly got up from his bed and the moment his feet touched the floor, his daddy was entering the room. That was when Sam remembered something. Sir would be mad that he wet himself and that he wasn’t dressed but Dean wasn’t here to help him. The sun was up which meant he probably slept too late and Sir was going to be mad. What if Sir took Daddy away?

Without knowing what else to do, Sam burst into tears. He held his dog tight as he sobbed and he felt Daddy wrap his arms around him to hold him. It felt nice but it didn’t feel deserved. Still, Sam found himself leaning into his daddy hoping that somehow his daddy could save him from the big scary world.

Through his tears, he heard his daddy speak. “Hey, Sammy, what has gotten my little man so upset?”

Sam sniffled and wiped his face with his stuffed dog. He took some time to calm down and hiccupped a lot before he could answer his daddy’s question. When he finally did, Sam thought for sure his daddy would have bad news for him. “Sir will be mad at me. I’m lazy. I made a mess.”

He focused on the gentle hand that his daddy was rubbing up and down his back. It didn’t stop when he spoke like he expected. His bottom wasn’t stinging like he expected and no one was forcefully grabbing him like he expected. The only thing that happened was his daddy was there and comforting him. His daddy’s voice was gentle and reassuring, “Who is Sir? Are you talking about your father?”

Sam scrunched up his nose and was offended. Of course, he wasn’t talking about Daddy. He wondered how his daddy could even think such a thing. Sam knew that his daddy would never hurt him like Sir. He had a good Daddy. Sam defended his daddy’s honor. “No, I have the best daddy. Dean’s dad is a meanie.”

He felt his daddy kiss the side of his face and promise. “You don’t ever have to see Deano’s father again, kiddo. He’s not going to take you away from me. You’re safe and no one is going to hurt you. I promise.” Sam felt his daddy give him a gentle squeeze and reassure, “You’re my good boy, Sammy. I will always protect you and care for you. Right now, though, we need to get you ready for your day and get some breakfast into you. How does that sound?”

Sam felt unease creep up inside of him again. He asked innocently, “Daddy help me get ready? Dean’s not here to help. I don’t want a sore bottom.”

His daddy smiled and stood up which caused Sam to stand with him. He noticed he was a little taller than his daddy which was weird. He seemed to think that was important and something wasn’t quite right but he couldn’t place what it was. When he thought too hard about it his noggin started to hurt. Sam focused on his daddy as his daddy took his hand and led him to the bathroom. His daddy was upbeat when he said, “I will always help you, Samshine. And there are no sore bottoms for good boys.”

++

“I told you to look after him. Where the Hell is he?”

Dean glared at Castiel. How hard was it to watch a grief-stricken Sam? Really? Sam had been through this countless times. All Cas had to do was give Sam a dog and the kid would stay out of trouble. But nope, Dean came back to the bunker to find Sam missing and a sigil that showed Castiel was blasted somewhere. The good news was Castiel managed to find his way back to the bunker but Sam was still missing.

Castiel sighed and stated calmly, “Dean, we will find your brother. A British Lady of Letters was here. There may have others and I suspect they took Sam.”

Dean snapped, “Took Sam where? You said Chuck fixed you so zap him back here.”

Castiel shook his head and stated slowly, “I can’t. I don’t know where he is. Sam is hidden from me. All I can tell you is he is not dead.”

Dean groaned and lamented, “I hate humans. We need to find this British chick. Do you at least know where she is?”

Castiel scrunched his face together for a moment then he nodded. The angel sounded confused, “In the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. She seems distressed and a small child is with her. They are in an inflatable boat. That hardly seems practical for traveling across the ocean.”

Dean stared at Castiel for a moment as he wondered if perhaps the angel was insane. Mary spoke up from beside him. Her voice was kind, “Can you bring the child and the woman here? We could talk to her and maybe she could tell us what happened to Sam.”

Castiel sighed and waved his hand. A moment later a blonde haired woman and a small blonde haired boy were standing inside the bunker. Dean wasn’t in the mood, at all. He pulled his gun out the waistband of the pants and said coldly, “Hello, my name is Dean Winchester. If you blast Castiel to Oz again, I will put a bullet in your kid’s head. If you lie to me, I will put a bullet in your head. My baby brother is missing and you’re going to tell me where he is.”

The woman took a step back and wrapped her arms protectively around the child. Her accent was more annoying than Rowena’s. She sounded scared, “I don’t know where he is. We had Sam captured, but things didn’t go as planned. An archangel entered out bunker in the UK. We thought our warding would protect us but the archangel removed all of it. He was more powerful than we expected. He left my son and me in the middle of the ocean but he did not harm us. I know he was looking for your brother but I do not know if he found him. The room Sam was held in should have prevented the archangel from leaving, but like I said, the archangel was far more powerful than we anticipated.”

Dean closed his eyes and had to fight back tears. He shook his head as he met Castiel’s eyes. “Lucifer.”

Castiel was adamant, “We will get him back, Dean. Sam was able to resist Lucifer before.”

Dean shook his head and reminded Castiel, “That was before the cage. Lucifer knows all of Sam’s weak spots.”

The woman chimed in, “We cast a spell that regressed Sam mentally to that of a toddler. If it was Lucifer, I don’t know how well a child would be able to resist. We wanted Lucifer to possess Sam so we could capture him.” She paused and asked, “What do you mean by the cage?”

Dean turned and looked in his mother’s eyes. He saw a number of things on his mother’s face. He knew he had about thirty years’ worth of explaining to do. He clarified for his mother. “Sam is Lucifer’s true vessel. That was the deal you made with Azazel all those years ago. Lucifer could be and most likely is wearing Sam to prom right now. So we have to find Sam and get Lucifer out of him. I guess, we are going to England to check out this bunker.”

++

Gabriel ran a bath for Sam in the hope that it would make Sam feel better. They weren’t exactly off to a good start this morning and he thought a bath might help. Sam didn’t get a bath last night before bed and the kid was covered in grime from being locked away in the bunker. Granted, Gabriel could snap Sam clean but that would hardly help Sam gain life skills.

He turned to look at Sam who was standing in the corner of the bathroom still holding his stuffed dog. Sam looked uncertain as the water level in the tub rose. Gabriel threw some toys in the water and said gently to Sam. “Come here so I can help you undress. Then you can get in the tub.”

Sam shook his head no and stomped his foot down, “No, baths are for babies.”

Gabriel frowned a little and then he realized it made sense. John Winchester raised the boys on the road and giving Sam a bath would have been difficult. It would have been easier to get Sam used to showering at an early age. Still, Gabriel didn’t really want a temper tantrum from Sam. He just smiled at Sam and said calmly, “So you want to be my stinky baby?”

Sam protested with another stomp, “Not stinky.”

Gabriel grinned and put on a mock tone of delight, “Ah, so you are my baby! Excellent, does my baby want to get in the bath before the water gets cold?”

Sam shook his head no and stomped the other foot. He knew he should really put a stop to the stomping. But he wanted to wait Sam out on this one. Gabriel knew Sam was going to have issues. Granted, he wasn’t expecting a bath to be one of them but he didn’t want to jump straight to punishment. He also didn’t want to change who Sam was inside.

Gabriel got up and walked over to Sam. He pulled Sam’s shirt up and over his head. He had to be careful threading the shirt through Sam’s arms because the kid hadn’t put down the dog. Gabriel tugged down Sam’s pants next and then he gently removed the diaper. He didn’t say anything about it. He just tossed it in the trash. Gabriel glanced at Sam and while Sam didn’t look pleased, the kid wasn’t being resistant.

He led Sam to the water which Sam reluctantly stepped into but did not sit down. Sam stomped his foot again and the water splashed slightly but not enough to go over the edge of the tub. Gabriel took the stuffed dog from Sam’s hands and saw Sam’s face crumpled. The kid was going to cry again. Gabriel quickly gave the dog a kiss and asked the toy, “Would you like to sit on top of the toilet and watch Sammy take a bath like a big boy?” Gabriel made the dog nod its head then Gabriel sat it down look at Sam.

Sam stared at the toy, in what Gabriel thought could be an epic stare down. Sam nodded at the toy as if some sort of agreement Gabriel knew nothing about had been found. Then Sam plopped down into the water. Gabriel counted this one as a win. He knelt down on the floor by the tub and snatched up a washcloth. He put some soap on it and reached out for Sam’s arm.

The kid pulled his arm back and glared at him. Gabriel should have known it wouldn’t have been that easy. He used his other hand to pick up one of the toys he tossed in the tub. It is a washable marker that Sam could use to draw on the wall of the shower. He leaned over and used the marker to write Sammy on the wall. The kid watched and Gabriel knew he was fascinated. He hoped this would work as he handed the marker to Sam.

He waited while Sam inspected it. What Sam was looking for, Gabriel had no idea. Sam drew circles on his bare chest for a few moments before turning to the wall and starting to scribble. This was Gabriel’s chance. He picked up the washcloth and started washing Sam quickly. He didn’t want to drag out the washing part.

Once Sam’s body was clean, he had Sam tilt his head back to wet his hair. Sam didn’t like that much mostly because it was preventing him from scribbling on the wall. However, when Gabriel started to shampoo Sam’s hair and a few balls of soap suds fell in the tub, Sam stopped scribbling to pick up the soap suds. Sam played with the suds as he giggled. Gabriel was glad because he was able to rinse Sam’s hair out without Sam getting upset. He did cheat by using his grace to make sure no soap got into Sam’s eyes. However, he had a happy boy so he figured it was worth it.

After Sam was clean, he let Sam play in the tub for a little while longer until Sam’s stomach growled. That reminded him that humans needed food to survive. Gabriel unplugged tub so it would start to drain. The noise actually startled Sam and he scooted back in the tub. Gabriel chuckled and picked up a towel. 

He said kindly to Sam, “What do you say we get you dried off and dressed so you and your doggie can have some breakfast?”

Sam tore his gaze away from the drain and met Gabriel’s eyes. He asked curiously, “Pancakes?”


	3. Chapter 3

It had been a couple weeks and Gabriel knew he was in over his head. Dean and Castiel were using just about every trick in the book to try to find Sam. The demons declined to help for obvious reasons, they couldn’t find Sam themselves. The growing relationship between Mary and Dean was interesting to watch from afar. However, Gabriel couldn’t shake the feeling that she was going to try to kill Castiel. Mary was a hunter and Castiel wasn’t human. Angels were not monsters but he doubted Mary saw it that way.

He decided to keep an eye on Castiel while keeping an eye on Sam. Gabriel decided to listen to his dad for once and keep Sam away from Dean. However, Dear Old Dad said absolutely nothing about keeping other creatures away from Sam. If they weren’t human then it didn’t count, right? Gabriel thought so.

Sam was laying on the floor in their living room playing with his toes as he giggled. Gabriel wasn’t sure what Sam found so interesting about his toes, but the kid was occupying himself so Gabriel lets him be. Truth be told, Gabriel had watched the Winchesters for years. Including when they were children. He posed as the police officer who had to watch a twelve-year-old Sam until John arrived after Dean was arrested for shoplifting. The police never actually had custody of Sam because if they did, Sam would have ended up at the same boys’ home as Dean.

Twelve-year-old Sammy was different from the little boy in front of him. Gabriel liked both versions of Sam but he hoped that if Sam had to redo the mental age of twelve again that it would be better. He wasn’t sure how he was going to make that happen, but he would try. Besides, once this was over, he fully intended to give a nice photo album to Dean. Sam would likely be mortified and Dean would have blackmail material for the rest of his life.  

Gabriel pretended to read the newspaper while Sam played. Then Sam asked him, “Daddy, why are my toes hairy?” Sam scrunched up his face and declared, “Squirrels have hairy feet.”

Gabriel chuckled as he attempted to keep the conversation light. He knew Dean had the nickname of Squirrel and he didn’t want Sam to focus on his missing brother. Little Sammy tended to get upset about Deano not being around quite a lot. Gabriel folded up his paper and sat down on the floor by Sam. He picked up Riot, Sam’s stuffed dog, and had it attack Sam’s tummy. That caused giggles from the boy. Gabriel teased, “Oh no, Sammy. Riot is upset that you called him a squirrel. Whatever will we do?”

He continued to attack Sam with the stuffed toy as the boy giggled and failed his limbs. It was nice to see him so relaxed and carefree. However, after about five minutes of puppy attacks, Sam was getting tired and whined, “Stop, Riot.” Gabriel did stop because he knew there were many times, countless times, in Sam’s life when someone didn’t stop. He wanted Sam to know he could always ask for things. It didn’t mean he would always get it, but asking to stop puppy attacks sounded reasonable.

After Sam caught his breath, he looked at Gabriel and asked again, “Why are my feet hairy?”

Gabriel knew he wasn’t going to get out of this one. So he shrugged and said, “I have hair on my feet.”

Sam narrowed his eyes and asked skeptically, “Why is Daddy shorter than me?”

Gabriel smiled and made a shocked face as he proclaimed, “Sammy, I think I know what is wrong. You’re a Sasquatch. All this time I thought you were a little boy, but you’re not. Whatever will your daddy do?”

Sam picked up Riot and held him close to his chest. He was very serious when he said, “I am no monster.”

Gabriel countered, “Really? I thought all little boys were monsters.”

Sam shook his head no and declared, “Noo.”

Gabriel picked on Sam a little more, “Oh, are you sure? I think you’re my Little Sasquatch Monster.”

Sam picked on the foot of his toy and then he asked seriously, “I have no friends. Is it because I am a monster? Is that why I don’t have friends?” One thing Gabriel noticed with this spell that Sam was under was that a lot of Sam’s actual childhood would seep through. There were times when Sam’s language skills were much more advanced and other times they tended to regress further. He wished he could see what was going on in Sam’s head but he couldn’t and Dad sad it would be fine.

Gabriel didn’t really have a good answer to Sam’s question, but he resolved himself to either find a friend for Sam or to create one. In the meantime, he pulled the boy in for a hug and said calmly, “You are a Little Sasquatch, but you are not a monster, Sammy. You’re a good boy, a smart boy, a kind boy, and a loving boy. You have friends. I am your friend. Dean is your friend. You have friends and people who love you.” Gabriel kissed the side of Sam’s head and stated firmly, “I love you, Sammy,” and he meant it.

++

Dean paced in the library of the bunker. All of the Men and Ladies of Letters from the U.K. turned blue. Testing showed high levels of colloidal silver which turned the skin blue overtime. However, they weren’t blue a few days ago. Dean couldn’t help but feel like he was running in circles until it dawned on him. They were dealing with a trickster.

He walked into the kitchen to discuss his theory with Castiel. As Dean walked in, he saw his mother with an angel blade walking up behind Castiel. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that she was about to kill him. Dean yelled, “Mary no!!” As the words left his mouth, his mother lunged toward Castiel but the angel disappeared before their eyes. Dean stared at his mother and asked angrily, “What the Hell?”

Mary lowered the blade and sighed, “He’s a monster, Dean. You’re a hunter. We are hunters.”

Dean took a couple slow breaths and spoke adamantly, “He is not a monster. He is an angel which is pretty far from a monster. His name is Castiel, even though you don’t seem fond of using it. For your information, that angel you were going to kill pulled my soul from Hell. He saved both my life and Sam’s life more times than I can count.”

Mary sighed and placed the blade on the table. She relented for now, “I’m sorry, Dean. I just want you to be around humans.”

Dean glared then stormed out of the kitchen. He had to wait for Castiel to come back before he could discuss the trickster.

++

Castiel heard Dean call for him then he found himself in a garden outside a house. He was standing face to face with Gabriel. A little dumbly Castiel said, “Dad said you were dead.”

Gabriel shrugged, “I was but Dad and Auntie Amara brought me back. You were about to get staked so I thought I would save your bacon.”

Castiel was confused, “I do not have any bacon.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes and stated, “It’s a saying.”

Castiel nodded in understanding and looked around. He took a few steps and looked around to see the warding. Nothing could be found where Gabriel was. It seemed Gabriel was intent on hiding away from everyone. It did anger Castiel that Gabriel would not rule Heaven. The angels needed a leader and someone they could depend on. Castiel asked hesitantly, “Why are you hiding again, brother? Heaven needs you.”

Gabriel sighed and snapped his fingers. They were inside the house and Castiel’s eyes fell to Sam sleeping in the middle of the living room floor. He had a blanket thrown over him and a stuffed dog tucked under his arm. Gabriel motioned toward Sam and stated the obvious, “Special orders from Dad.”

Castiel sighed and motioned toward Sam. “Dean is worried. We thought Lucifer had him. We should go get Dean. Probably not Mary since she just tried to kill me.”

Gabriel shook his head no and said firmly, “No can do. Dad said to leave Deano out. I am not sure why, but I am going to listen to the old man. Sam does seem to be maturing some. Do you have any idea how long he will stay like this?”

Castiel glared and said, “Three to six months, long enough to break a soul.”

Gabriel waved his hand to use his grace to move Sam to his bed. He didn’t want his argument with Castiel to wake up his kid. Gabriel said steadily, “I am not going to break, Sam. The whole point was to give him a good experience.”

Castiel stated firmly, “Sam needs his brother.”

Gabriel couldn’t argue that point. He shrugged and deflected, “Not my call. I just got back from being dead. I am not going to piss off our dad by dragging Dean into this. You can let Dean know Sam is okay and not with Lucifer, but he needs his space right now.”

Castiel was about to argue when he heard crying from the other room. Sam was awake and not happy. Castiel hung back in the doorway as Gabriel cuddled with Sam to calm him down. Sam was very young in his behaviors which Castiel found odd. He truly didn’t understand human children. He had peaked in on the Winchesters from time to time over the years but he never remembered seeing Sam like this. Even as a small child, Sam always acted much older.

Gabriel held Sam gently as the boy wiped his eyes with his stuffed dog. Once Sam was calm, he drew Sam’s attention over to Castiel and asked, “Do you know who that is, Sammy?”

Sam’s eyes got wide and he grabbed on tightly to Gabriel. He started screaming and crying, “No Daddy. No Daddy!! I don’t.. He hurt me.”

Gabriel rocked Sam in his arms and shushed him. He whispered in Sam’s ears as the boy screamed, “Sammy, no one is going to hurt you. Daddy’s right here. You’re safe. Castiel isn’t going to hurt you. I promise.”

Sam shook his head no and screamed as he sobbed, “Lucifer.” Castiel frowned and took a step back it would make sense that Sam would associate his vessel with Lucifer.  He just didn’t know how to explain to a child that he wasn’t Lucifer or Jimmy Novak; he was Castiel.

Gabriel continued to rock Sam as he reassured, “No Sammy, that isn’t Lucifer. That is Castiel. You remember Cas, right?”

Thankfully, Sam stopped screaming but he buried his head in Gabriel’s chest. He sobbed for a little while longer until he asked, “You sure?”


	4. Chapter 4

Sam bit his cookie carefully as he held Riot safely under his arm as he stared down the dark haired man. He had been certain that this man had hurt him and worst of all this man kept Dean and his daddy away. Sam decided he didn’t like him much, but Daddy assured him that this man wouldn’t hurt him. He took another bite of his cookie and continued to glare at the man. Maybe if he glared long enough the man would leave and never come back.

Gabriel could see that Sam was less than pleased about Castiel being in their home. He tried to bribe Sam with cookies after Sam got done screaming and crying. It was not really working. Sam was giving Castiel a death glare, but Gabriel was certain that the angel deserved some of it. Still, he decided to smooth things a little bit. He pointed at Sam’s cookie and said in Enochian, “Cookie.” Sam smiled a little and bit his cookie again. The glare was gone for the time being. When Sam started to let his eyes find Castiel again, Gabriel pointed at the cookie and repeated in Enochian, “Cookie.”

Sam didn’t play along this time. Instead, the kid spoke in fluent Enochian. “My cookie. When is the scary man going to leave?” Gabriel was a little shocked because he had no idea that Sam could speak Enochian better than he could in English. He had no idea what to make of that.

Instead of dwelling, he asked kindly in Enochian, “Do you want to share one of your cookies with Castiel?”

“No.”

That didn’t go as planned, but Sam was stubborn. Gabriel tried to draw the boy out. “But good boys share. Don’t you want to be a good boy and share with Castiel?”

Sam shook his head no and took another small bite of his cookie. He chewed it slowly. Then he looked at Castiel briefly and looked away. Gabriel wasn’t sure if Sam was actually going to answer him. He was about to ask Sam again when the boy said, “I’ll share with Daddy but not Castiel.”

Gabriel sighed and asked, “Why don’t you want to be a good boy and share with Castiel?”

Sam frowned as he took another bite. Then Sam mimicked Gabriel’s sigh before saying stubbornly, “He doesn’t eat.”

Well, there was that. Angels don’t have to eat and Sam knew it. Gabriel rubbed his temples and prayed to his dad that he wouldn’t screw Sam up more than he already was.

++

Dean repeated slowly to Castiel, “Sam, who has the mental age of a small child, is with Gabriel? And you’re okay with this? Gabriel killed me over a hundred times to mess with Sam and you’re trusting him to what raise Sammy?”

Castiel sighed and stated firmly, “Father commanded it.”

Dean snapped, “I don’t care what God commanded. Sammy is my responsibility.”

Castiel shook his head and said, “I cannot overpower an archangel and I will not defy my father. Gabriel warded himself and Sam against any threat. We won’t be able to break in to take Sam and I do not know where he is right now. We have to trust my father.”

Dean paced while he thought about his options. Summoning Gabriel could work but that would leave Sam alone. He didn’t want to risk Lucifer finding Sam like this. Dean sighed and ran his hands over his face. He asked tiredly, “How is Sam?”

Castiel smiled, “Good. He’s happy.”

At least someone was happy. Dean knew a couple things for certain. One, he was going to find Sam with or without Castiel’s help. Two, he was going to kill that archangel.

++

Gabriel decided to work on sharing with Sam. It seemed important even though none of his other kids shared anything. They were all powerful and could just snap their fingers to get whatever they wanted. They took after their father. Sam didn’t have the benefit of snapping his fingers to get what he wanted. Sam would have to share.

He gave Sam some more cookies. They weren’t terribly unhealthy cookies. Gabriel was proud to say he made the cookies himself without any special powers and the primary ingredients were shredded carrots and raisins.  Anyways, Gabriel watched Sam munch on a cookie carefully. Then Gabriel saw this as his opening, “Sammy, can I have a cookie?”

Sam glanced up at him and smiled brightly. His boy picked up a cookie, the smallest cookie, and handed it to him. Sam proudly said, “Here Daddy.”

Gabriel took the cookie and was a little dumbfounded. He took a bite of the cookie and declared. “This cookie is very good, Sammy. Thank you for sharing.”

Sam nodded and took another bite. After he finished chewing Sam said happily, “You’re welcome, Daddy.”

They ate their cookies in silence except for Sam’s happy hums every now and then. After they were done Gabriel asked, “Sammy, why did you share with me but not Castiel? You know, Castiel is my brother and we are both angels.”

Sam frowned a little then he shook his head and giggled, “Daddy needs sugar to stay Daddy. Lucifer needs demon blood to stay Lucifer. Castiel needs souls to stay Castiel.”

Gabriel opened his mouth and closed it a few times. It was true that an angel’s grace was fueled by a soul. Touching a soul could repower a weakened angel. Souls didn’t impact archangels like himself or Lucifer and contrary to what Sam thought he didn’t need sweets. He just liked sweets and he may have whispered in someone’s ear a few hundred years ago that they should mix cocoa beans with sugar and cream. 

Gabriel kissed Sam on the forehead and asked kindly, “Castiel doesn’t need souls unless he is sick. However, Castiel can still enjoy cookies or other treats. Just because he doesn’t need it to survive doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be allowed to have it. You don’t need toys to survive but I still make sure my special boy has toys.”

Sam’s frowned deepened then he whispered, “But what if it isn’t Castiel? What if someone else is pretending to be Castiel and he wants to hurt me real bad?” Gabriel reached forward and touched Sam’s forehead. He passed through a little bit of grace that would allow Sam to see people’s names including the names of angels. Sam stared at Gabriel with wide eyes for a few moments then Sam asked, “Daddy, your name isn’t really Daddy? It’s Gabriel?” Sam laughed, “That’s a silly name, Daddy.”

Gabriel fake pouted, “My Samshine doesn’t like my name. Whatever shall I do?”

Sam giggled harder and declared, “Just be Daddy.”


	5. Chapter 5

Gabriel had been getting glares from Sammy all day. Well, glares and fits. First, it was Sammy didn’t want to get up. Then he didn’t want to try to go potty. Then he didn’t want to wash his hands. Then he didn’t want to brush his teeth or hair. It continued onto breakfast. Sammy just didn’t want to do anything. He was getting close to losing it with the kid and he was beginning to understand why John Winchester drank heavily. Sam Winchester could be stubborn little shit.

The standoff over breakfast cereal was well underway at this point. It was in its second hour and it was only Gabriel’s grace that kept Sammy firmly seated at the table. Sammy pouted and whined, “I don’t want to eat. I want to sleep.” Again, the kid spoke in perfect Enochian.

Gabriel sighed and said calmly, “Sammy, take ten bites for me then you can go back to bed.”

Sam eyed him for a moment then he picked up his spoon and took a slow bite. Sam chewed methodically and never broke eye contact. It was a little unnerving. Sammy got in three bites before he threw up and burst into tears. It had completely escaped Gabriel that humans get ill. He felt like a fool but he used his grace quickly clean Sam and he allowed Sam up from his seat.

Sam sniffled which caused the boy the spit up more. A soft touch to Sam’s forehead revealed it was part of the curse. Gabriel wasn’t sure how long it would last. He used his grace to ease the ache in Sam’s stomach and handed over Sam’s stuffed dog. The boy took it readily and clutched it to his chest. Sam sat down on the floor as he continued to sniffle and choke up bile. Gabriel gave Sam a bucket that Sam repeatedly pushed away. It seemed that Gabriel was going to have to use his grace to clean up Sam. Every single time. This kid was a mess.

Gently Gabriel said, “Hey kiddo, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you weren’t feeling well. Why don’t we go back to bed and I’ll read you a story?”

Sam pouted and rubbed his sleeve across his face. “No story, cuddles.”

And cuddles it was. Gabriel did cheat to keep a sick Sammy happy or at least not as miserable. He used his grace to keep Sam’s bottom dry, to clean up his puke, to ease his pain, to put him to sleep, and he may have wrapped his wings around Sam while they cuddled.

+

Once Sam was sleeping soundly, Gabriel left with the intent of talking to Toni. He found her with Deano. The older Winchester had her locked down in the dungeon. Gabriel glanced around the warded room and smiled at her. She glared at him which was to be expected. He didn’t want her to know who he was and he contemplated making her think he was his elder brother, Lucifer. Gabriel decided against it.

He walked into the room holding the woman like a mortal man. He could act like a mortal man. There was no reason for her to know he was an angel. Gabriel asked the woman pointedly, “The spell you put on Sam, it is causing him to become ill. How does it stop?”

The woman snorted a laugh and said, “I’m not telling you anything.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow and was suddenly not in the mood for this. He let his eyes flash to solid white to show his grace as he stepped forward. He sneered at her, “You will tell me everything.” So much for keeping this angelic side hidden.

The woman stopped laughing and stammered, “You’re an angel.”

Gabriel took another step toward her and reached out to her with his grace. Unlike when he touched Sam with it, he didn’t comfort her. He tortured her. Her screams filled the air but the pain she felt wasn’t a reflection of any injury. It just felt like she was injured. For Toni, it felt like all of the bones in her body were being broken and reset over and over again. The worst part for her was Gabriel used his grace to keep her from passing out.

He stopped when he heard the door the dungeon open and in marched the peanut brigade. It consisted of Dean, Mary, and Castiel. It was Castiel that spoke first. Worry laced Castiel’s voice, “Brother, what are you doing?”

Gabriel glanced at Castiel before turning his attention back to the woman, “The spell. It is making Sam sick. I need to know how to stop it.”

For some reason, Gabriel completely underestimated Mary Winchester. She had snuck around him while he was talking and sank an angel blade in through his chest. It took the wind out of him and caused his grace to flash but it didn’t kill him. He slowly pulled out the blade and made it crumble into dust.

Dean spoke quickly, “Gabe, please don’t hurt her. She was only trying to help Sam.”

Gabriel sighed and shook his head. He thought about all the ways he could harm Mary but he also thought about how upset Sam would be about it. Instead, he snapped his fingers and made it so Mary could no longer see angels. It wouldn’t be good for Mary if she ran into Lucifer but it would prevent any future knifings.

After that was done, Gabriel address Dean. “She is blind to angels. That should prevent any further accidental stabbings. Now, back to Sammy.” Gabriel turned back toward Toni and said firmly, “Tell me,”

Gabriel could hear Dean comforting his mother in the background but he ignored it. The woman looked genuinely afraid now. Toni said nervously, “Sam is getting ill because he doesn’t fell whole.”

Gabriel sighed he knew Sam didn’t feel complete. Sam wanted Dean and asked for his brother multiple times every single day. The thing was Gabriel didn’t know how Dean would behave. Gabriel snapped his fingers to take Dean back to his safe house with him. He made sure to completely unarm Dean in the process. He also decided to give Lady Toni the same treatment as Mary only a little worse. He made her completely blind. Gabriel did decide to let them hear Castiel’s voice, only because he knew his little brother would worry.

++

Dean wanted to kill Gabriel when he felt himself get zapped some place. That some place turned out to be a house and he was standing square in the living room with Gabriel. He demanded, “Gabriel, you had no right to do this.”

The archangel rolled his eyes and Dean took the opportunity to search for weapons. Gabriel had removed all of them. It frustrated Dean, but Gabriel’s words frustrated him more, “Deano, keep your voice down. I don’t want to wake Sammy. And because I know you’re thinking it, I made it so you can’t hurt yourself here. So there will be no sigils painted in blood to send me to Oz. If you hurt Sammy to get his blood to do it, you will never see your brother again.”

Dean glared at the angel and he knew he was screwed. He decided to play Gabriel’s game until he could get him and Sam out. Dean nodded his head in acceptance. After taking a couple deep breaths Dean asked, “Can I see, Sammy?”

Gabriel smiled and led Dean down a short hallway. The angel cracked open the door and Dean saw his brother. Only Sam looked different somehow. It was like the stress, guilt, and burdens that Sam carried weren’t there. Sam looked younger, maybe even a little innocent. Dean glanced at Gabriel and he thought Gabriel looked proud. It made Dean’s stomach twist to realize that the angel cared about Sam. Gabriel’s voice was soft but reverent, “Father didn’t want you here so please behave yourself. Sammy, on the other hand, has been asking for constantly. He loves you. When I look into his mind you’re the center of his universe. No matter the adventure, no matter what risk he takes, his center is always with you. I’ve never had anything or anyone in all of the creation that loved me as much as he loves you.”

Dean didn’t know what to say to that. People worshiped and prayed to angels. The Archangel Gabriel had a fan club. Hell, Loki had a fan club. But Dean supposed a fan club wasn’t the same as brotherly love. In all honestly, Dean didn’t know where he would be without Sam. He said the only thing he could, “He’s a good kid but if you hurt him or bad touched him, I will find a way to kill you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in getting this up. 
> 
> I had mono which basically sucked the life out of me.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam woke up slowly with light fluttering into his room. He could hear the birds chirping outside.  There were two birds that regularly sat on his window seal. One was named Blue and the other was named Red to match the color of their wings. Sometimes his daddy would tell him what the birds were saying. Sam smiled because his daddy was really smart and knew all sorts of languages. Bird chirping must have been really hard to learn.

He shifted on his bed and grabbed hold of Riot. Together they peered out the window at the birds. Sam whispered to Riot, “I wonder what they’re talking about.” Sam made a woof sound for Riots response and smiled at his toy. He made Riot sneak out further toward the birds until Sam was certain Riot was seen and he retreated his toy back to the safety of his chest. He whispered, “That was a close one, Riot. Blue and Red almost got you and they would have taken you to Bird Chirp Land.” Sam giggled, “I saved you!”

Sam and Riot carefully moved away from the window to protect themselves from the evil birds. However, Sam glanced back and saw that maybe the birds could still see them. Sam shifted a little again and noticed his bottom was wet and stinky. To make matters worse, he could hear his daddy talking to someone. Sam moved toward his bedroom door with Riot and pressed his ear against the door. He heard a very familiar voice.

“I swear I am going to pluck your wings and deep fry you.” Dean. The voice belonged to Dean. But why would Dean want to hurt Daddy? There was only one logical explanation. A monster was inside of Dean and monsters did bad things and hurt little boys. Sam whimpered and cuddled Riot close. He had to think of something he could do to protect himself. Surely, Daddy would be okay but what about him? What if more monsters came while Monster Dean was distracting Daddy?

Sam let a few terrified tears fall down his face. He felt himself spit up a little because his tummy was still hurting. Sam ran his fingers through his vomit on his shirt. It missed Riot because Riot was a good stuffed dog and stayed away. As Sam ran his fingers through is vomit he got an idea. He had an itch in the back of his mind about how he and Dean would draw pictures on the wall to keep monsters away. Sam nodded to himself and sat down Riot so he wouldn’t get dirty. Then Sam used his finger to spread a line of his vomit on the wall.

Sam took a step back to look and noticed that he couldn’t see it that well. He glanced around his room for something else to use. Daddy kept his crayons, paints, and markers in a drawer in the dining room so he didn’t have those in here and he couldn’t risk going out there to get them. Sam whimpered and looked at Riot. He whispered, “What are we going to do?” Riot’s plastic eyes were focused on Sam’s bottom. He was sure of it. Then Sam realized that Riot was trying to tell him something!

He quickly took off his pajama bottoms and pulled off his stinky diaper. There Sam saw the solution to his problem. His poop was a little runny, but it should work. Sam ran his finger through it and then applied a line to the wall. It was perfect! Sam could use this draw pictures to protect his room. Carefully Sam started drawing on his wall. He sat down on the floor to do this and he felt the carpet get wet from his wet and dirty bottom. He didn’t worry about that, though. He had to protect himself and Riot!

++

Gabriel was arguing with Dean while Sam slept. It started innocently enough. Well, it wasn’t exactly innocent. He laid down the ground rules for interacting with Sam which caused Dean to go protective older brother and reject everything followed by Dean telling Gabriel how he was going to murder the angel. It was annoying and Gabriel had to remind himself that Sammy would be upset if he smote his brother.

He snapped at Dean, “You can’t do anything to me.” He was going to say more but he stopped himself. Something was wrong in Sam’s room. Gabriel ignored Dean and walked down the hallway. He tried to open the bedroom door but found that it was warded against angels. Gabriel banged on the door, “Sammy!?”

He heard Sam’s scared voice from the other side, “Daddy?”

Dean grumbled behind him, “I can’t believe he calls you that. Why can’t he call you dickbag or something?”

Gabriel glared at Dean for a moment. He didn’t hide his anger, “Sammy’s room is warded against me. I believe we both have more important things to worry about right than what he is choosing to call me. Wouldn’t you agree? Or should we continue hashing out how you want to kill me?”

Gabriel heard Sam whimper on the other side of the door, “Please don’t hurt my daddy.”

Dean gave out a sigh and snapped, “Give me a weapon and I will go in to rescue the princess.”

Gabriel weighed his options and realized he had none. He had to protect his little boy. Gabriel snapped in angel blade into Dean’s hand. It would kill almost anything. It should work. He took a step back to allow Dean to enter the bedroom. As Dean opened the door the smell hit him.

++

Dean stepped inside Sam’s bedroom with the angel blade held tightly in his right hand. He nearly dropped the blade with what he saw. Sam was sitting bare-assed in the middle of the floor holding a stuffed dog. There was literally shit everywhere. Sam was covered in it. The stuffed dog was covered in it. The carpet had skid marks, but the walls were covered in sigils. Sam had warded his room against both angels and demons using his own shit. Dean never imagined that shit could be used as an effective warding technique.

He carefully put the blade inside his jacket and knelt down in front of Sammy. Dean knew Gabriel probably wanted him to remove the warding so he could get to Sam but Dean saw this as his opportunity to talk to Sam without Gabriel’s threats. Dean watched his brother look up at him with worried eyes.

It took a moment for recognition to flash before Sam’s eyes then Dean found himself being tackled by Sam. Dean fell back on the shit coated carpet and he felt Sam hug him tightly. He realized that Sam had shit on his hands and his body which was now getting on his clothes. If it wasn’t for all the hunting, wandering around sewers, and his time in Hell, Dean was certain he would be gagging right about now. As it was, he wasn’t pleased about Sam getting poop on his jacket.

Dean forced himself to chuckle at Sam’s antics. It was either laugh or yell at him and Dean was fairly certain Gabriel would be angry about yelling. Dean asked Sam, “How are you doing, princess?”

Sam shot him a bitch face but didn’t move to untangle himself from Dean. Sam replied in something that sounded like Enochian but Dean had no idea what exactly Sam said. Gabriel translated, though, “He said he is happy you’re here and that the monster didn’t get you. Now, can you please remove the warding so I can get Sammy and his room cleaned up?”

Dean looked at Sam and asked, “Not speaking English these days?” He was trying to be nice but the whole Enochian thing annoyed Dean. It made sense because Gabriel was an angel but he wanted to be able to talk to Sam.

Sam giggled which caused Sam to throw up on Dean’s chest. Dean grimaced at the sight but it wasn’t the first time Sam had thrown up on him and he doubted it would be the last. Sam shook his head no and said in English, “No!” At least Sam did know English, Dean thought. Dean sighed and pulled himself off of Sam. He grabbed Sam’s pajama bottoms and started smearing the sigils so Gabriel could get in. Sam frantically said something to him in Enochian but Dean had no idea what.

Gabriel did though and replied in Enochian, so Dean was left completely in the dark as to what was going on. Dean just hoped Gabriel had two showers in this place.


	7. Chapter 7

Gabriel put Sam into a bath and started to wash the boy. Dean stood back in the doorway with a towel wiping off Sam’s filth. Gabriel knew he could just snap everything clean but it was so much more fun to mess with the elder Winchester. Gabriel kept his eyes on Sam as Sam played with a toy ship in the water, but he spoke to Dean. “Hey Deano, do you think you could start cleaning up Sammy’s room?”

Dean grumbled in the hallway, “Why don’t you just clean it with your mojo?”

Gabriel chuckled as he started to rub shampoo into Sam’s hair. He said kindly, “Well, you want to be the one that takes care of Sammy so take care of him or are you saying I can do a better job?” He knew he was antagonizing Dean but he couldn’t tease Sam right now. The little boy wasn’t feeling well.

Even though Gabriel couldn’t see it, he knew Dean was staring daggers at the back of his head. It made him chuckle lightly which earned him a confused look from Sammy. The boy looked at him and said in English, “Daddy.”

Gabriel smiled at him as he tilted Sam’s head back to rinse his hair. “Yep, that is me.” He poured the water gently over Sam’s head to wash the shampoo out. He was well aware of Dean still standing in the doorway.

Dean grumbled again, “Do you have another shower, Gabriel? A change of clothes would be nice too.”

Gabriel glanced back at Dean and said calmly, “Down the hall. It is the second door on the left. You will find everything you need in there.” Turning away from Sam allowed Sam enough time to pick up his toy ship and fill it with water. The water was immediately dumped on Gabriel which caused Sam to giggle. Gabriel sighed and asked Sam, “Why did you do that, Sammy?”

Sam giggled and continued to run his ship through the water. He said in Enochian, “It’s fun.”

Gabriel wasn’t convinced. He spoke to Sam in Enochian, “And I suppose you found spreading poop all over your room fun, as well.”

Sam wrinkled his nose and nodded slowly. He whispered in Enochian, “I was protecting me and Riot from monsters.”

Before Gabriel could reply, Dean snapped from behind him. “Sammy, speak English. I have no idea what you’re saying.” The harshness of Dean’s voice caused Sam to burst into tears. It made Gabriel angry as he wrapped Sam in a clean towel and gathered up the boy in his arms. Gabriel did his best to comfort Sam but he really didn’t want to deal with Dean right now. So Gabriel snapped Dean to the other bathroom.

++

Gabriel did use his grace to clean Sam’s room. If Sam wasn’t feeling so poorly, Gabriel would have at least made Sam help clean it up. But as it was, Sam was still looking a little pitiful. He seemed to be doing better until Dean snapped at him. Gabriel debated about sending Dean back to the bunker but he decided to give it some time and see if Dean could behave himself. If not, Deano would be gone.

He sat down on the sofa with Sam and the kid cuddled up next to him with an angelic clean Riot. Sam held onto Gabriel tightly and Gabriel knew it was time to talk to Sam about his behavior. Carefully Gabriel said, “Sammy, I don’t want you drawing sigils like that on your walls again and I especially don’t want you decorating your room with your poop.”

Sam pouted a little as he laid his head on Gabriel’s shoulder. He spoke quietly in Enochian, “Sorry Daddy, but how else was I supposed to protect myself and Riot?”

Gabriel hugged Sam and gave him a small kiss on the top of the head. He swore to Sam in Enochian. “I promise, I will always protect you. You never have to worry about anything getting in here to hurt you. So no more poop spreading.”

Of course, Dean had to witness both their cuddling and him kissing Sam. It was all platonic touching, but the older Winchester was a little dense sometimes. Dean complained, “Gabriel, get away from my brother. It is not okay to touch him like that. What the Hell is wrong with you? Actually, don’t answer that. I’ve met your older brothers. I wonder if Chuck intended to make the four of you assholes.”

Gabriel snapped his head around to Dean and said firmly, “Dean, do not use that kind of language in front of Sam. And for your information, I am not violating Sam. If you weren’t so emotionally constipated you would understand that two people can touch without impending death or for adult activities.” Gabriel paused and added, “Or should I assume that you were doing something inappropriate with Sam when he hugged you earlier?”

Dean balked a little as he made his way further into the living room. Gabriel saw the weary look Sam gave Dean and Sam made no attempt to stop cuddling. He could tell Dean wanted to say something but decided to keep his mouth shut.

++

As the day progressed, Dean noted that Sam seemed to be doing better. He wasn’t throwing up anymore and he managed to keep down some food. Both of those things were huge pluses for Dean. One big negative was Dean had no idea what Sam was saying. Sam would raddle off something in Enochian and then give Dean this look like he was supposed to know what the heck was said. It was frustrating.

Despite the communication issues, Dean learned that the stuffed dog was named Riot. Sam still liked his rabbit food and Gabriel didn’t feed Sam meat. Something about how Gabriel didn’t want Sam killing any of his father’s creations. Dean wanted to bring up all the people Gabriel had killed or dicked with but he stopped himself. He knew Gabriel could zap him anywhere in the world and he had no way of finding out where Sam was.

He knew he had to bide his time until he could escape with Sammy. It seemed like the first order of business was getting Sam to speak English. Right now, they were in the backyard and Sam built a sand castle. On top the sand castle there was a toy soldier and down on the ground, there was a princess doll. Sam said something in Enochian.

Dean sighed and said firmly, “I don’t know what you’re saying, Sammy. You have to speak English to me, Buddy.”

Sam tilted his head a little then he pointed at the soldier. Then he started to make the princess march toward the castle while she fended off various farm animals. Dean, honestly, had no idea what was going on and Sam was continuing to babble in Enochian. He was getting a headache. Dean grabbed the toy soldier and had the toy jump down from the top of the castle. This gave Sam pause and Dean got an angry face from his little brother. Sam scolded him, although Dean didn’t know what was said. Then Sam carefully placed the toy soldier back on top the castle and went back to playing.

For some irrational reason, Dean felt like he was ten years old again and Sam was ruining everything fun. He got a twist in his stomach when he wondered if maybe the curse was affecting him too. Maybe that was the real reason why Chuck wanted him to stay away. Dean disregarded that notion. Chuck didn’t want him around Sammy to make him pay for not having faith.

Without thinking about it too much, Dean pushed on the tower of sand containing the soldier and watched the sand fall all over Sam’s hands, the princess, and the farm animals. It was momentarily satisfying. It was not satisfying when Sam started crying and repeating something over and over again in Enochian.

Whatever Sam was saying was enough to have Gabriel appear out of nowhere with his eyes glowing from his grace. Dean was ninety percent sure Gabriel was going to smite him now. Gabriel spoke in English to Sam in a calming voice, “Oh Sammy, it is okay. Dean didn’t kill the Prince and the trapped servant. And the animals are fine. He was just having fun.” Sam replied in Enochian and Dean rolled his eyes. Gabriel caught it and glared at Dean briefly before returning his attention back to Sam. Gabriel used his grace to make the princess doll, which apparently re-gendered as a prince by Sam, fly through the air until it landed on a pile of sand. The doll dug until the toy soldier was rescued and the two dolls shared a kiss. It was cheesy and Sam loved every minute of it if his giggles were anything to go by.

Dean was at a loss until Sam started playing on his own again and Gabriel turned his attention to Dean. Gabriel’s voice was firm, “Dean, please come with me.”

Despite his strong desire to run, Dean followed Gabriel to the back patio. Gabriel sat down on a bench and glared at Dean. It was unnerving and Dean managed to stammer out, “What’s wrong, Gabe?”

Gabriel sighed and snapped his fingers. The next thing Dean knew he was laying over Gabriel’s lap with his pants down. Thankfully, his boxers were still pulled up. It was humiliating and it quickly became apparent that Gabriel was using his grace to keep him there. Gabriel’s voice was still firm but not angry. “I don’t appreciate you treating Sammy like you did. I know you don’t understand what he is saying but that doesn’t mean you can intentionally upset him and we both know that you knew that knocking over that tower would upset him.”

Dean grumbled as he tried in vain to get out of this situation. He had no idea what Gabriel had planned but it couldn’t be good. Dean reached down to feel in his jacket pocket, the angel blade that he had hidden in there earlier was gone. Since injuring Gabriel enough to get away was out of the question, Dean opted for plan B. He tried to reason. “Gabe, I was just messing around. It was what big brothers do.”

Gabriel hummed for a moment then declared, “No, you were bullying Sam. How would you like it if Sam did that to you?” Dean didn’t dignify that question with an answer. Sam knew better than to mess with him. Gabriel sighed and added firmly, “Because you want to act like a child and bully your brother, I am going to treat you like a child. I think ten swats ought to be good.”

Dean panicked. He did not want to get spanked by Gabriel or anyone really, not even a chick in Zorro mask. Dean felt his breath coming in quicker as Gabriel laid a hand down on his boxer covered rear. It hurt but not extremely so. It was more the humiliation of this happening that was getting to Dean and the fact that Sam was now watching them both intently. Each strike was solid and firm, but not hard enough to leave a mark. Dean felt tears prickling his eyes by the time Gabriel was done, but he did not cry.

With a snap of Gabriel’s fingers, Dean found his pants were back up and Gabriel said firmly, “I want you to think about your actions for the next ten minutes so sit here.” For some reason, Dean obeyed.

He watched Gabriel make his way over to Sam and Gabriel pulled Sam’s sand covered hand out of Sam’s mouth. Gabriel and Sam spoke in Enochian and Dean felt left out. He pouted from where he sat on the bench, not realizing how childish he was beginning to act.


	8. Chapter 8

Sam sat at the dining room table with Riot and Dean. He held Riot closely to his chest with his left hand and he worked on his creation with his right hand. Daddy had given them a bunch of clay and he was building a mountain with Dean. It was looking pretty good. His side looked a lot better than Dean’s side. Sam’s side, AKA the best side, had rocks and slopes. He was working on adding more texture using his thumbprint. Sam never saw a smooth mountain before.

For some reason, while they were building the mountain, Dean insisted on hollowing out part of the mountain. Sam figured it was so their toy army men could go explore the inside of the mountain later. Exploration was important after all.

Sam started humming _Return of the Fishing Boat_. The humming was sharp and precise, just as it was in the song. Daddy would play Chinese classical music sometimes and it filled Sam with peace. Dean was scowling at Sam but he figured that was because his side of the mountain was so much better.

Sam flinched when Dean snapped at him, “Sammy, shut up. No one wants to hear you hum stupid shit.” He didn’t like the way his brother was talking to him. It made him sad. Sure, he didn’t speak the same language as Dean all that often, but he understood the words and he understood the tone. Everything about Dean’s words and Dean’s tone told Sam that he was a bad boy and he didn’t want to be a bad boy or tainted. He had an itch in the back of his mind that told him was tainted and that made him bad. Sam didn’t want to be that.

He stopped humming and looked down at his hands. He didn’t want to sculpt his side of the mountain anymore. He just wanted to be alone. Sam glanced at Riot for a moment but decided not to take Riot with him. Riot probably thought he was just as bad as Dean thought he was. Sam sniffled a little as fought back tears. He got up and left the table. He went and sat down in the corner and stared at the wall. Maybe if he put himself in timeout long enough he could be a good boy.

++

Dean wondered what Sam was doing. His little brother could be such a brat and he was so spoiled. It irritated Dean that Sam had a dad and he didn’t. It wasn’t fair. He was the oldest so he should have the same things as Sam. He was jealous of Sam for being so perfect and having a perfect life. Sam had his own room and toys. He had someone to tuck him in at nap time and kiss his ouches away. None of which Dean had. No one ever really cared about him. Everyone, even when they traveled with the drill sergeant, cared about Sammy more than him. And it just wasn’t fair.

He did wonder why Sam was sitting in the corner but he couldn’t bring himself to ask. Instead, he decided to tease Sam a little. Dean wandered into the kitchen where he found vinegar, dish soap, a paper towel, and baking soda. He took his supplies out to the table and he mixed together some vinegar with the dish soap. He poured it inside the mountain. If Dean had to judge the mountain, he would say his side looked far better than Sam’s side. His side was rough and untamed like the wilderness and Sam’s side was just prissy.

Dean put some baking soda inside the paper towel and wrapped it up tightly. He sat it by Sam’s stupid stuffed dog. Then Dean called, “Hey Princess, come here.” Dean grinned as Sam hesitantly made his way over and sat down. Once Sam was sitting Dean declared, “Riot needs to drop the special package inside the mountain. Do you think you’re smart enough to help him with that?”

Sam nodded but didn’t otherwise speak. Dean couldn’t help but grin triumphantly as Sam picked up Riot and the paper towel filled with baking soda. Sam had Riot peak inside the mountain then Sam wrapped Riot’s two front paws around the paper towel. Sam made a show of Riot making his way back up the mountain. Then finally, Sam dropped the paper towel inside. He made Riot poke his head inside the mountain to look.

Dean couldn’t have asked for better timing. The mountain exploded in a sea of white foam that covered Riot and Sam’s hands. Sam screamed and pulled Riot away. He was frantically saying something in Enochian to the stuffed toy but Dean was too busy laughing to hear what.

 ++

Gabriel had been reading quietly. The boys were supposed to be playing with clay. How much trouble could they really get into with that? He should have known better. These were the Winchesters and Dean was regressing much like Sam had. Only Dean regressed to what Gabriel referred to as ‘the little shit’ age. Dean’s regression to that age, which he guessed was somewhere between 9 and 11, should have been Gabriel’s first clue not to leave them alone.

It was Sam’s frantic scream that caused him to appear in his dining room. In the middle of the table was a volcano, not a real volcano but the science experiment version. Sam and Riot were covered in foam from the volcano erupting. It was pretty clear that Sam was panicking as he said over and over again in Enochian, “I’m sorry, Riot. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m bad. I’m bad. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry.”

It broke Gabriel’s heart to see Sam so upset. He made his way over to Sam and decided to ignore Dean’s hysterical laughter for a moment. He placed his hands over Sam’s and looked into Sam’s teary eyes. Gabriel used his grace to clean both Sam and Riot. He also extended his grace to help calm Sam down. It worked marginally but Sam still upset. He knew he had to be careful with his grace. It could scare Sam. He knew Lucifer’s damage was hiding right under the surface for Sam.

Once Sam calmed down a little and Dean’s laughter was replaced with a look of concern, Gabriel asked, “Sammy, why are you upset?”

Sam sniffled and hugged his now clean stuffed dog. He said in Enochian, “I’m bad. I should be quiet. I want to be good. I hurt Riot. I’m bad.”

Gabriel was confused but he reassured Sam. “You’re my good boy, Sammy. I love you and I know Riot loves you. Look at him, he’s not hurt. You kept him safe and loved him even when he was dirty. You’re a good friend.”

Sam frowned and stated in Enochian, “I have no friends because I am bad.”

Gabriel sighed the mock pouted, “But I thought I was your friend. Poor me. Sammy was one of my best friends too.”

Sam tilted his head a little and stared at Gabriel he asked, “Friend?” This time, Sam asked in English.

Gabriel nodded and agreed, “Yes Sammy, I am your friend.”

Sam smiled and declared in English, “Daddy friend!”

Gabriel couldn’t help but laugh. He stroked Sam’s hair gently and said calmly, “Yes, I am your daddy and your friend. Why don’t you go pick out a book and I will read it you before your afternoon nap?”

Sam nodded and bounced up, “Story.” Then Sam was off to find a story. It would likely be a princess story. Sam loved those stories for some reason.

With Sam gone, Gabriel turned his attention to Dean. He asked calmly, “Dean, why do you insist on tormenting your brother?”

Dean crossed his arms in a stubborn defiance. “I was playing. He’s the one being a baby.”

Gabriel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He took several deep breaths then he said, “Dean, Sam is younger than you so he is going to do things differently. He’s fragile and sensitive but every smart.”

Dean muttered, “Very stupid.”

Gabriel glared at Dean. He couldn’t spank Dean right now because he was angry. He was tempted to smite Dean but he thought Sam wouldn’t appreciate that. Gabriel thought about dropping Dean back with Castiel and Mary but Mary stabbed him so she wasn’t high on his list of people to trust with children. The irony of Gabriel not trusting Mary with Dean wasn’t lost on him. He knew Mary had more rights to Sam and Dean than he did.

Gabriel took a calming breath and asked, “Why do you think Sammy is stupid?”

Dean stared off to the side somewhere and admitted reluctantly, “Sammy has a dad and I don’t. It’s not fair.”

Gabriel was stumped for a moment. He opened his mouth and closed it a few times. Then he said words that he knew he may regret, “Deano, I can be your daddy too.”

Dean made eye contact with him and said skeptically, “Why? No one wants me.”

Gabriel frowned a little and tried to reassure, “I want you and Sammy adore you. You can be my big boy and Sammy can still be my little boy.”

Dean nodded and said slowly, “Dad?”


	9. Chapter 9

There was something different about having the same dad as Sammy. It didn’t magically make all of Dean’s problems go away. He was now laying in his bed with bedding that he picked out. It had engines and tools on it. Dean thought it looked badass, even though Gabriel told him not to use that word. The room was dark and everything was quiet. There wasn’t the sound of televisions, moaning, or fighting. It was eerie and Dean wasn’t sure he liked it.

Even when he slept outside, he could hear bugs and most importantly, he could hear Sammy’s breathing. Dean would never admit it but he liked wrapping his bigger body around his little brother like Sam was his own personal teddy bear. Under the cover of darkness with Sammy in his arms, Dean felt safe.

Dean sighed and crept out of his bedroom. He tiptoed down the hallway so his dad wouldn’t hear and he stepped into Sammy’s room. Sammy was sprawled out and for a moment Dean thought that Sammy might be bigger than him but that couldn’t possibly be right. He crept to Sam’s bedside and pulled back the covers. Then carefully he wrapped his arms around his baby brother.

Sam stirred a little and said sleepily, “Dean?”

Dean snuggled in with Sammy and said tiredly, “Yeah Sammy, go to sleep. I’m watching out for you.”

Sam relaxed then mumbled in English, “You were the bomb.”

Dean chuckled and closed his eyes. With the sound of Sam’s breathing, Dean was able to lull himself into a peaceful sleep.

++

Sam woke up with Dean drooling on his back. It was yucky and annoying but Sam loved Dean anyways. He wiggled out of Dean’s embrace carefully. He didn’t want to wake Dean because then Dean would be cranky or mean. He didn’t want to be bad. Sam picked up Riot and cuddled him while he watched Dean sleep and Sam quickly became bored.

He got up from the bed and found his stash of stickers, his dinosaurs, and his Belle doll. She was his favorite. He took his supplies back to Dean and he started sticking the stickers on Dean’s belly and chest. They were flowers and the flowers were going to protect Belle. After he used up a few packets of stickers, he had Belle safely resting by Dean’s head. Dean was good for protection too.

But then the dinosaur attacked! Sam made roaring noises as the dinosaur made his way up Dean’s leg. He made Belle recite, “Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas.” Sam had no idea what she was saying but he was pretty sure it would keep her safe. However, his plans failed and the evil dinosaur kept advancing.

As the dinosaur progress through the field of flowers, Dean grumbled, “What Sammy?” Dean’s voice caused the dinosaur to fall back and regroup. The dinosaur didn’t give up though and marched on until Dean’s hand came flying across his abdomen. Dean’s hand hit the dinosaur and Sam didn’t have a strong grip on it. The dinosaur flew off the bed and landed with a thud on the floor. Dean had successfully protected Belle.

Sam was ready to celebrate when Dean turned on his side and Belle fell with him. Sam climbed onto of Dean to rescue Belle. She was trapped under Dean’s weight. Sam knew he could save her, though. He pulled on Dean until he moved enough for him to pull her free. Once he had her, he kissed her on the top of her head as he smoothed her hair. Sam smiled at Belle and he hoped that someday he would find a misunderstood prince to love him like she did.

Before Sam could figure out what to do next he heard his daddy’s voice, “Hey Samshine, why don’t you come with me so we can get you changed and into your day clothes? How does that sound?”

Sam turned his head toward his daddy and smiled. His bottom did feel a little wet. He carefully put Belle back with the other princesses and grabbed Riot before heading over to his daddy. He grabbed Gabriel’s hand and said, “Okay Daddy.”

++

Dean woke up to the sound of Sam talking Enochian to Gabriel and the smell of pancakes. He rubbed his eyes and he was momentarily horrified when he realized that he had crawled into Sammy’s bed last night. He took a couple calming breaths as he convinced himself it was for Sam’s benefit and not because he needed someone near.

He slowly pulled himself out of bed and stopped at the bathroom. Dean didn’t bother to turn on the light or look in the mirror. After he was finished with his morning routine and he made sure to brush his teeth, he wandered into the dining room. He could see Sam sitting at the table drawing with his crayons and Gabriel was in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

Dean plopped down on the chair and waited for someone to knowledge him. Honestly, he wasn’t expecting anyone to notice his existence. Sam and Gabriel both seemed busy. He was surprised when he heard Gabriel’s voice from the kitchen, “Hey Deano, did you use the potty, wash your hands, and brush your teeth?”

He rolled his eyes at the questions. Of course, he did. He wasn’t a baby that needing help or reminding like Sammy. Dean glanced at Sam and saw that Sam was staring at him, waiting for his answer. He sighed, “Yeah, I did.”

Gabriel smiled at him, “Good boy. Do you want fruit in your pancakes?”

That sounded gross. Dean shook his head no and said firmly, “Yuck Dad. No, I don’t want that. Can I have some bacon?”

Gabriel hummed for a moment and said calmly, “Maybe tomorrow, you can help me slice the tofu into it.”

Dean was confused as Gabriel made his way over to him and sat down a plate of hot pancakes with a bowl of fruit next to it. He also sat down a plate in front of Sam with all the pieces already cut. Sam’s pancakes did not look as hot as Dean’s and Sam’s had fruit pieces in it. Despite Sam’s pancake already being cut Dean could still make out a smiley face. Lips were made out of sliced strawberries, the nose and ears were made out of peaches, the eyes were made out of blueberries, and the hair was made out of a pineapple. It actually looked good and Dean was regretting not getting a pancake with fruit. But he knew his pancake was just as good. He poured some syrup on his pancakes and started to eat like a starved man.

Sam ate at a much slower pace and Gabriel had to coax him to eat which Dean found annoying. He zoned out of the conversation Sam and Gabriel were having because he could only understand Gabriel’s side of it. He wished Sam would speak English to him already. Dean was pulled out of his pouting by Gabriel’s cheerful voice, “Deano, Sammy wants to know if you’re the flower prince?”

Dean stared at Gabriel blankly for a few moments before he glanced at Sam. His little brother was grinning and pointing at his shirt. Dean looked down at his shirt and saw flower stickers. He groaned as Sam started to giggle. He did not understand why Sam was picking on him.

++

Getting the boys to bed was a chore. Sam needed his story and cuddles until he fell asleep. Dean put up a front of being independent, but Gabriel saw right through it. They usually played with Dean’s army men or other action figures after Dean was ready for bed. It gave them about thirty minutes of one on one time which Gabriel knew was important to Dean even if he would never admit it. That was okay.

He was exhausted from the day and honestly he just wanted to sit back and enjoy some candy right now. Gabriel found that abstaining from candy while the boys were up was difficult, but he didn’t want either of them to have a sugar addiction. Although, Dean did manage to convince him to make a pie tomorrow. Gabriel figured that was okay, Dean Winchester’s existence depended on the pie.

Gabriel sat down on his favorite chair and snapped up his favorite chocolate bar. It was one of the finer chocolates. He had a disdain for commercial American chocolates that his sons were exposed to. It wasn’t the high amount of sugar in the chocolate he had a problem with, it was the corporate greed that allowed boys to be kidnapped and enslaved to harvest cocoa beans. It wasn’t right and Gabriel couldn’t understand why his father allowed that to happen. There was a lot Gabriel didn’t understand about his father and he knew he would never get the answers to his questions.

He took one large bite of his chocolate and was enjoying the taste of the different molecules when he heard a cry from Sam’s room. Gabriel just snapped his fingers to appear in Sam’s room. Sam was crying and clearly afraid of something. He turned on a lamp and placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder. Sam’s head snapped to him then the next thing Gabriel knew, he had an arm full of Sam. He held onto Sam as he sat down on the bed. Gently Gabriel rubbed Sam’s back while he waited for Sam to calm down. Then Sam muttered, “Sorry Daddy.”

Gabriel huffed out a breath and spoke quietly, “You don’t have anything to be sorry for. Did you have a bad dream?” Sam nodded but didn’t speak. So Gabriel probed further, “What was it about?”

Sam shivered in his grip and Gabriel could hear the fear in Sam’s voice, “Lucifer trapped me a cage.” Gabriel knew that for normal children, they would be told there is no such thing as the devil. However, both Gabriel and Sam knew that Lucifer was very real and a complete dick.

Gabriel didn’t ask any more questions. Instead, he just rocked Sam in the hope that he would go back to sleep. After twenty minutes, Gabriel was starting to have his doubts. He asked gently, “Hey Sammy, what do you say we lay down in my bed?” Sam nodded and Gabriel carried Sam to his room. He had a bigger bed and he wanted Sam to be comfortable. After Sam was tucked in, Sam rested his head on Gabriel’s chest and Sam drifted off to sleep easily.

Once he was sure Sam wasn’t going to wake up and he may or may not have used some grace to ensure that, Gabriel pulled out his candy bar. He started to take another bite but was stopped by a knock on his bedroom door. Gabriel quickly hid the candy as Dean opened the door. Dean looked tired and concerned. Still, Gabriel smiled at Dean and asked kindly, “What are you doing up?”

Dean frowned a little and stepped into the room, “Why is Sammy in here?”

Gabriel glanced at Dean and sighed, “Nightmare. He’s okay. You don’t need to worry.”

Dean shook his head and walked over to the bed. He brushed a hand through Sam’s hair and Gabriel knew Dean was upset about something. Dean’s voice cracked when he asked, “Why didn’t he come to me if he was having a bad dream? I protected him last night. It’s my job.”

Gabriel shook his head and held out a hand and said calmly, “Come here, Dean.” He waited for Dean to come around to the other side of the bed and Gabriel coaxed him to sit down. Gabriel eventually got Dean to lay down under the covers and it was interesting to see how much Dean relaxed. He kept his voice calm and quiet, “You do a great job of looking after Sammy, but I heard him wake up from his nightmare so I took care of it. I know last night Sam didn’t have a nightmare. Are you having trouble sleeping?”

Dean’s bottom lip wobbled for a few moments and he whispered out his reply, “I am afraid of being alone at night. I need to hear other people even if it is just Sammy’s breathing. I..I’m sorry.”

Gabriel wrapped his arm around Dean and reassured, “You have nothing to be sorry for. What do you say, we talk tomorrow about the two of you sharing a room? We can put in bunk beds. Or we can get a radio for your room that you can listen to at night.”

Dean shrugged and said dismissively, “Yeah okay.”

Gabriel knew acting like nothing was a big deal was a coping mechanism for Dean. He ruffled Dean’s hair which earned him a bitch face very similar to Sam’s. Then he closed his eyes and said to Dean, “Get some sleep, we have a big day tomorrow.”

Dean opened his eyes in shock and said, “I can stay here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The good news, I am off from work for the next week so I may have more updates.
> 
> The bad news, my spouse is going in for surgery as part of his treatment for cancer today and we had a plumbing line break in the house last night.
> 
> I am don't feel like adulting.


	10. Chapter 10

Gabriel knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was on the verge of losing his mind. The Winchester boys were holy terrors. All he wanted was a candy bar and they wouldn’t let it happen. They also filled him with an ache that he buried long ago. As much as he refused to admit it, Sam and Dean did remind him of Lucifer and Michael when they were younger before the mark. The mark changed everything. It changed his father, Lucifer, Michael, and even himself. Sometimes Gabriel wished he never helped his father lock away the darkness in the first place. Maybe if Amara remained free, his family would still be whole. But Gabriel knew that Amara would have destroyed humanity before it even had a chance to grow. She would have stomped on that mud fish.

Lucifer wasn’t just Dad’s favorite. He was also Aunt Amara’s favorite. Lucifer’s grace shined brighter than all the rest and he was beautiful. Perhaps it was Lucifer’s closeness with both father and their aunt that caused Lucifer’s demise. Lucifer, unlike the other angels, did not fear Father or their aunt. Lucifer would ask questions. He would shine in the darkness and he would shine in the light. Lucifer’s grace never dimmed until the mark.

Gabriel remembered seeing Sam when he was a baby. A real baby back in 1983. His curiosity got the better of him. He wanted to see the child that would one day act as a vessel for Lucifer. Sam’s soul was brighter than any other soul in the hospital. It was like a beacon of light that could be seen well in the stars. Of course, only angels could see that light and only angels saw it when that light dimmed. When Azazel bled into Sam’s mouth at six months old, the light of Sam’s soul dimmed. Much the same way Lucifer’s grace dimmed once he had the mark.

The difference between Lucifer and Sam was Lucifer let the darkness take hold and change him. Sam didn’t do that. Sam looked for good and that caused sparks of light to break through the darkness that clouded Sam’s soul. It wasn’t until Sam cleansed his soul with Holy fire that it shined as bright as it did when he was an infant. Gabriel felt lucky to be given the chance to raise Sam without the taint that followed Sam the first time around.

Speaking of the little devil, Sam predictably woke up before Dean and immediately started bouncing on the bed. The kid didn’t seem to care that Gabriel was in the bed and Dean was still asleep. Gabriel grabbed Sam’s arm lightly and whispered, “Sammy, stop bouncing. You’re going to wake your brother.”

Sam stopped bouncing but tilted his head to look at Dean. He asked in Enochian, “Why is Dean sleeping in here? Is he sick? I can give him kisses to make him better.”

Gabriel smiled at Sam. He was such a thoughtful kid. He shook his head no and said gently, “Dean’s not sick. He just had some trouble sleeping. What do you say we watch some cartoon until Deano wakes up? I promised he could help me with breakfast.”

Sam smiled and scurried off the bed. Then he took off down the hallway toward the living room with Riot. Gabriel got up a slightly more leisurely pace.  The candy withdraws were going to do him in.

++

Dean stared at the white pasty looking block of tofu and questioned his dad’s sanity. He poked it a couple times and saw the block jiggle. No way was this going to end up bacon. Still, he found himself slicing the fragile paste into strips using a potato peeler while his dad fried the strips on the stove top. It was tedious and annoying. Once he was done slicing, Dean asked, “Hey Dad, I thought bacon came from cows. Why are we making it out of this gunk? It’s gross.”

Gabriel glanced back at Dean and gave him a soft smile. Then Gabriel asked Dean a question that Dean never thought of before, “How would you like it if someone ate you because they thought you tasted good?”

Dean stared at his dad because he was unsure what to make of that comment. He had an itch in the back of his mind. Then a memory slipped through, but Dean didn’t recognize it as such. It was a grown up Sammy and he was kidnapped by cannibals. They were going to eat Sammy but he saved Sammy. Dean glanced in the living room where Sam was laying on the floor watching television. His little brother’s legs were carelessly swinging back and forth as he watched the show. Sammy was safe. No one was going to eat Sammy.

He poked the tofu slices a couple times and asked, “Can cows feel pain?”

Gabriel nodded, “Yes, Dean.”

That caused some sympathy from Dean. He probed further, “Can they make friends?”

Gabriel flipped the tofu strips and said calmly, “Yes, they have friends and even family.”

Dean bit his lip and glanced at Sam again. He spoke quietly, “I would be real sad if someone took Sammy away. I don’t know what I would do. I.. I guess it makes sense not to eat someone’s friend.”

Gabriel smiled and walked over to Dean. He ruffled Dean’s hair and took the plate of sliced tofu. Gabriel said playfully, “Good because the only reason you should ever kill another creation is if it is necessary for survival. Cats need to eat meat to survive, but humans do not.”

Dean frowned a little and said sadly, “That’s sad. Are cats evil?” He seemed to remember one jumping out of a locker and scaring him one time.

His dad chuckled, “No Deano, they aren’t evil.”

Dean nodded solemnly because that was good. He wasn’t sure how he would protect Sammy from evil cats but he would find a way.  Then Dean had another question pop into his head. He was supposed to be tough and he had to eat food that made him big and strong. “Hey Dad, can I still be a warrior without eating someone’s friends?”

His dad shook his head and said firmly, “Warriors eat their vegetables and they don’t tease their little brothers.”

Dean wasn’t sure he could be a warrior. He liked teasing Sammy and Sammy didn’t seem to mind too much.

++

Sam sat on the edge of his bed and cuddled Riot to his chest. He was upset and crying. He didn’t know what to do. Daddy had talked to him about things and the possibility of sharing a room with Dean. His daddy made it sound like it would be alright. They could have bunk beds and stuff but Dean said it was because he was a baby and had nightmares. Sam sniffled because it wasn’t his fault he had a nightmare last night and he didn’t want to lose his bedroom because of it. Dean would probably take away his toys like Sir did and Daddy was probably mad because he was in his room last night.

He curled up on his bed and sobbed. He hated himself for being so stupid. Stupid Sammy that was who he was. Sam wasn’t sure how long he was there for when he felt his daddy touch his shoulder. Sam shrugged it off and cried in Enochian, “I am not a baby.” The last word was choked off with a sob.

Sam heard a sigh that wasn’t a sigh from his daddy. He bolted upright and pushed himself into the corner of his bed. Sam stared at a man; he was certain he had seen before. He remembered light with this man. Warmth, light, indifference and wrath were all part of this man.  The man held up his hands and said slowly, “I am not going to hurt you, Sammy. Do you know who I am?”

Sam shook his head no and clutched Riot tighter. He had to protect Riot from this man. He wasn’t really sure how he would do that but he would try. Sam really wanted his daddy right now.

The man gave a small smile as he lowered his arms. His voice was strangely soothing to Sam. “I will not hurt Riot either. I am Gabriel’s father. People call me Chuck.”

Sam tilted his head because this person didn’t have their name floating around them like Dean, or Daddy, or Castiel. This man had no name. Sam wasn’t sure if this was a trick. He knew Dean liked to play tricks on him. Sam asked in a small voice, “Where is Daddy?”

The man stepped forward and said carefully, “Talking to Dean.”

Sam nodded and thought for a moment. If this man was really his Daddy’s father then that would mean he had grandparents. Maybe grandparents didn’t have names. Sam frowned a little as he fiddled with Riot. He glanced back up at the man and asked, “Are you, my grandpa?”

The man winced started to say, “No, I..”

Sam moved quickly to hide under the covers to protect himself from this man. Once he was safely under the covers he started to yell, “Daddy help!!!”

++

Gabriel was in Sam’s room in less than a second. He was trying to reason with Dean. Sam had valid reasons for wanting his own room. The primary of which being Sam literally never asked for anything and was berated his whole like for wanting anything outside of hunting. If Sam wanted his own room to decorate, mess up, and keep his belongings, Gabriel wasn’t going to be the one to tell him no.

That said, Gabriel was a little surprised to find his father in Sam’s bedroom and a terrified Sam hiding under the covers. Gabriel snapped at Chuck, “What did you say to him?” He didn’t wait for a reply. He just gathered Sam up blankets and all so he could rock the boy until he calmed. He whispered in Sam’s blanket covered ear, “You’re okay, Sammy. You’re safe. I promise.”

Chuck sighed and stated slowly, “I had one stipulation for you to have Sam. All you had to do was keep Sam and Dean separated and you couldn’t do that.”

Gabriel glared at his father. He knew that Chuck could smite him and drop Sam at Lucifer’s doorstep, throw Sam back in the cage, or even outright destroy Sam’s soul. None of those possibilities sat well with Gabriel. He spoke firmly, “Sam was ill because of what that woman did. He needed Dean or else he would still be sick. I couldn’t heal him but I am sure you already knew that. I didn’t know that Dean would regress too.”

Chuck sat down on Sam’s bean bag chair and as he did the sound of a whoopee cushion releasing could be heard. That had to be Dean’s doing. Chuck pulled out the gag toy and tossed it to the side. He wiped his hands slowly and said carefully, “So you’re going to raise both of them until this curse runs its course?”

Gabriel nodded and said firmly once he was sure Sam could only hear him humming a German alphabet jingle instead of the actual conversation. “I care about them both. I love Sammy and Dean. It’s my honor to take care of them.”

Chuck smiled slightly and said carefully, “With Dean’s presence, the curse extended itself. They actually have to grow up at the human rate. I am feeling generous. I can turn both of them into the children they are, I could stop their aging, or I could do nothing at all. What would you prefer?”

Gabriel stared at his father in disbelief and he didn’t know what the right choice would be.  He asked quietly, "Is there any other way to break the curse?"

Chuck nodded and said vaguely, "Yes, but Sam will never say yes." Gabriel knew what that meant. He would either have to convince Sam to let him possess him or he would have chosen one of his father's options and he doubted his father would give him time.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so I grossly underestimated how time consuming surgery for the spouse would be. An overnight hospital stay turned into three days due to complications. However, the pathology came back and the doctor believes the surgery removed all of the cancer. :)


	11. Chapter 11

Gabriel was given three days by his father to decide what he wanted to do with Sam and Dean. He, honestly, had no idea what to choose. Possessing Sam seemed like a violation if he could even get Sam to agree to it and he would likely have to trick Sam to make that happen. Gabriel knew how well it worked out when Dean tricked Sam into being possessed by Gadreel. It wasn’t a mistake Gabriel would repeat, not that he would go crazy killer in Sam’s body or anything.

Sam was sleeping in his arms now and if felt right to Gabriel but he needed answers. He needed to understand his boys better to make the best possible choice for them. Gently, Gabriel laid Sam down in his bed. He tucked the blanket around him gently. Then he made his way out to the living room.

The living room was held a very nervous looking Dean and Dean held a small knife in his hand. Dean pointed the knife at Gabriel with a shaky hand and stammered, “I..I’m gotta protect Sammy.”

Gabriel sighed and shook his head. The knife wouldn’t actually harm him but it could hurt Sam. Gabriel walked over and took the knife out of Dean’s shaking hand. He ruffled Dean’s hair and said calmly, “Sammy got a little spooked is all. He is taking a nap. You can quietly go check on him. Do not wake your brother.” There was no way Gabriel was going to disclose that his father popped in.

Dean rolled his eyes and nearly ran down the hall to Sam’s room. He watched Dean tiptoe in then crawl into bed with Sam. Dean wrapped his arms around his brother and whispered, “I got you, Sammy.”

If it wasn’t for Gabriel’s angelic hearing, he would have missed Sam’s reply. It was in English. “Okay, De.”

Gabriel pulled the door closed and left the boys to nap while he attempted to figure out what to do.

++

Gabriel snapped his fingers in his living room while the boys napped. A very freighted looking zanna appeared before him. Gabriel popped a piece of candy in his mouth and wondered how it was Sammy trusted this guy. Suspenders and a t-shirt were just a fashion foul. Gabriel smiled at the zanna as he chewed his candy and waited for the man to say something.

The zanna twisted his hands and looked like he was ready to pass out when he blurted out, “Please don’t kill me.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow and sighed. Killing a zanna was pointless. They were good. Better than angels. Zannas protect and guide humans. Angels follow orders and protect the souls in Heaven. Angels slaughtered humans when their father got upset. Zanna protected and guided some of the very children Gabriel watched his brothers kill and he saw the way the Zanna mourned the children. He saw zanna die to protect their charge. This zanna had good reason to be afraid of angels.

Slowly and carefully Gabriel stated, “I know you know that I am an angel, but I don’t want to harm you. I actually need your help.”

The zanna looked around for something, probably an escape. He spoke again with a false confidence. “I.. I don’t help angels.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes and stood up. He spoke firmly, “My name is Gabriel. I am the rightful ruler of Heaven and all the angels. I give you my word that no angel will harm a zanna again. I summoned you here because I need your help.”  

The zanna blurted out again, “Sam told me that you’re dead. Lucifer killed you.”

Gabriel rubbed his eyes and sighed. Only Sam would talk to and have a relationship with a zanna as an adult. He said carefully, “Daddy Dearest brought me back. Enough about me, we should talk about Sammy.”

The zanna’s expression changed to one of concern. “Is Sammy okay?”

++

After leaving the boys in the care of a zanna, Gabriel journeyed to Heaven. He didn’t particularly care to see his brothers but it was one of the unfortunate consequences and if he wanted to visit Sam after Sam’s natural life ended then Gabriel had to make amends. He had to establish his position in Heaven. He stepped into the boardroom which gained him a startled look from the other angels.

Joshua was the first to speak to him, “Brother, I heard Father say that he raised you but I did not believe his words.”

Gabriel cocked an eyebrow and asked sarcastically, “I suppose you didn’t listen much like when Father asked for your help defeating Amara. Death with dignity? That was a classy and selfish move.”

The angels bowed at the mention of their father and Gabriel heard murmurs, “Please forgive us.”

Forgiveness was so easily given and yet, so hard to grant. Gabriel shook his head and stated firmly, “You’re lucky Father didn’t smite the whole lot of you. He’s done worse for far less. I am the ruler of Heaven in our father’s absence. We still and always will obey our father. If we have another rebellion, I will smite each of you myself.” Gabriel sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “I need to know where John Winchester and Bobby Singer are.”

The angels exchanged glances and then Joshua spoke again, “Bobby Singer is in Heaven’s prison. John Winchester is in his Heaven. Michael sealed it so only an archangel could enter or leave.”

Of course, Michael would do something like that. Michael was a dick. Gabriel shook his head and stated firmly, “Please return Bobby Singer to his Heaven. I will pay a visit to Mr. Winchester in the meantime. After I am done with that visit, I want to see reports on the number of souls entering Heaven, human and animal birthrate, and the estimated power of the souls in Heaven.”

Inias raised up an unsure hand and said nervously, “Um sir.. Gabriel.. Mr. Singer was put in prison for helping the Winchesters and aided in Metatron’s escape. He is a danger. The Winchesters could contact him again or Castiel could influence him.”

Gabriel glared at Inias and spoke firmly, “Sam and Dean Winchester got hit by a curse and Father decided to make them my human fledglings. Do not harm them and they pose no threat to Heaven. Metatron is dead. As far as Cassie, stop your witch hunt. He did more to save the world than any of you ever did.”

Gabriel didn’t care to hear their reply. He left and started to make his way to John Winchester’s Heaven.

++

Gabriel stood off to the side where John couldn’t see him. This was John’s Heaven and what he saw surprised him. John was sitting on a bench in a park as he watched Sam and Dean play. Sam was maybe three and Dean was about seven. The children were beautiful and Sam’s laugh, Gabriel wished he would hear that laugh forever.

Gabriel expected many things when he stepped into John’s Heaven. He expected a bar, a random motel with a random girl. That sort of thing. He never expected John Winchester, who neither of the boys called dad, to create his Heaven around two of his three sons.

He walked into sight and sat down next to John on the bench. He waited for a moment before he heard John’s relaxed statement. “I know this isn’t real, but I miss them so much.”

Gabriel stared at Dean held out his arms to catch Sam as Sam slid down the slide. Sam nearly jumped into Dean’s arm when he reached the bottom. The best part was they both giggled. Gabriel spoke carefully to John, “You’re in Heaven. You get to reply your greatest hits. My name is Gabriel. I am an archangel.” He didn’t really know what else to say. He came here with the intention of yelling at John for being a horrible father but the words dried up on his vessel’s tongue. John gave his life for his son.

John regarded him for a moment then asked, “Why would an archangel visit me? I hardly seem important enough to warrant that treatment.”

Gabriel sighed and stated, “No, you’re not. But your children saved the world many times over. You should be proud. They have been cursed and it caused them to regress their minds to that of a child. My father ordered me to care for them.. to raise them.” Gabriel left out that he was only ordered to care for Sam. Dean was unintentional, but John didn’t need to know that. He added with a smile, “They are both well behaved but they have their fears. Dean is afraid of being alone and Sam wants to feel wanted. They don’t play like this.” Gabriel gestured toward the playground. “Dean usually sets up some sort of prank on Sam that leaves Sammy in tears. I think Dean is mad because Sam refuses to speak English.” Gabriel chuckled, “They are good boys.”

John stared at him sadly and said, “I was never much of a father to them. I was more like their drill sergeant. Sam and Dean have a tendency to prank each other and it can get out of hand quickly. I’ve taken the switch to Sam for pranking Dean. He always claimed that Dean did so much worse. But after that Sam and Dean knocked it off. I would never describe them as good, especially Sam, but I am glad you’re trying with them.”

Gabriel sucked in a breath and resisted the urge to smite John. He asked instead of smiting, “My father gave me a choice. He said that he could change Sam and Dean’s bodies to make them children again. I could raise them and give them a whole new life but they would still have the memories of their past. I worry that their memories could break them.”

John turned his gaze back toward his children and whispered, “The memories are always what kills us in the end. But memories are also what gives us something to live for. Let them have the life I never let them have. Let them go to one school and fall in love with that nerdy girl in the library. Let them have a normal life.”

Gabriel doubted John knew how Sam’s memories nearly killed him and he wouldn’t tell him. There was no need to tell John of the trials Sam and Dean suffered. There was no reason to tell John that Adam was still trapped in the cage. Gabriel stood up and said calmly, “When they die many years from now, I will take them to see you.”

John stared up at Gabriel and asked, “And Adam?”

Gabriel didn’t have an answer for that so he fled John’s Heaven like a coward.


	12. Chapter 12

Sam woke up from his nap with Dean cuddled around him which meant he was hot. Worst of all, Riot fell off the bed while he slept and he was wet. He wanted his daddy to come make everything better. Sam started crying in Dean’s hold which woke him. Sam pulled away as Dean sat up to inspect him. He reached for his stuffed puppy on the floor. Once he grabbed hold of it, he brought it up to his chest. That made him feel a little better but he still wanted his daddy.

Sam whined out, “Daddy.”

Dean grumbled, “Sammy, he’s not here. Chill out.”

About that time, an overweight man with rainbow suspenders entered the room. He had a sympathetic smile and kind voice, “Oh Sam, what’s wrong?” Sam cried harder as he reached for the man. The man pulled him out of bed and Sam stood up. This man was short, Sam determined. Still, Sam wrapped his arms around the man and cried.

He didn’t pay attention to what Dean was doing until he heard his brother’s angry voice, “Let my little brother go.” Sam turned his head slightly and he saw Dean pointing an orange tipped gun at the man.

Sam frowned at Dean and said in English, “No, Dean… Friend.”

Dean locked eyes with him for a moment and then fired the gun. A bang was heard throughout the room and a white flag with the word ‘bang’ stuck out from the front of the gun.

Sam couldn’t help but giggle at Dean. Of course, this caused Dean to drop the gun and try to attack the man instead. Sam felt Dean pull him out of the man’s grasp and toss him easily on the bed. There Sam watched Dean beat his friend up. Sam giggles were replaced with tears.

Why couldn’t Dean let him have a friend? Was he that bad?

++

Gabriel needed candy, lots of candy. However, he had to wait. Gabriel strolled into Bobby Singer’s newly recreated Heaven and promptly had a bottle of whiskey thrown at his head. The hunter was angry and rightfully so. “A runt of an archangel is your next torture? Screw all of you! I wish I could have been there when Lucifer killed his pompous ass.”

Those words hurt and Gabriel took a calming breath. He knew that Bobby had every right to think he wasn’t real. Angels were dicks. Gabriel sighed and crossed his arms. He snapped his fingers and light filled the room.

A low rumble was heard on Earth and trees fell in every direction for a quarter mile. Gabriel was no longer in Heaven, but on Earth with a new resurrected Bobby. The man was covered in mud and staring wide-eyed at him. The feeling of coming back to life was unmistakable and no one could create an illusion of that happening.

Gabriel watched Bobby pull himself to his feet and breathed out, “You.. you’re alive. How?”

Gabriel sighed and said calmly, “Daddy Dearest. But this isn’t about me. It is about your boys you love so much. They seem to have regressed to children due to a spell and they think I am their father.”

After John’s calm acceptance of the situation, Gabriel was expecting much the same from Bobby, but he was wrong. Bobby had a quiet rage about him. There was only one reason why Bobby wasn’t trying to kill him right now. It was because Bobby knew he couldn’t win a fight against him. That knowledge did not stop Bobby from saying, “You better not hurt them.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes and stated firmly, “If I wanted to hurt them, I could have done so already. I do find their mother to be a little bitch, but that is a story for another time. I need your advice.”

Bobby brushed himself off and asked shortly, “Okay?”

Gabriel smiled slightly, “Should I have my father turn them into children to match where their minds are? It would give them a childhood or should I let them remain where they are age-wise.”

Bobby eyed Gabriel for a moment and said firmly, “I don’t know. They are fighters but childhood was one of the hardest points in their lives. They were lonely and isolated. Dean had a temper something fierce if anyone dared to touch his brother. Sam was always quiet. Always thinking and daydreaming. They weren’t happy children. They were abused and neglected by their father. Sam was overprotected by everyone, even me. If I were you, I would convince your father to let them have their adult lives back.”

Gabriel kicked the ground and said sadly, “That is not one of my options. My father doesn’t… My father doesn’t allow for compromises. I want to do what his right by them.”

Bobby tilted his head the side and asked, “Can’t archangels read minds?”

Gabriel frowned a little and defended, “Yes, but I have never invaded their privacy like that.” After the words left his mouth, Gabriel realized Bobby was right. He could take a little peek inside each of their minds and see what they wanted.

++

Dean managed to get the upper hand on Rainbow Man. He wasn’t sure what his real name was but Rainbow Man was what Dean decided to call him. Sam tried to pull him off Rainbow Man a couple times, but after he hit Sam squarely in the nose, his little brother backed off. It may or may not have had something to do with the bloody nose he gave Sam. However, Dean had more important things to worry about.

Rainbow Man kidnapped their Dad and was trying to take his place. Dean knew he had to interrogate to find out where their dad was so he could rescue him and protect Sammy. Dean had Rainbow Man tied to Sam’s bed. He used socks to keep him tied down. He didn’t have any rope which would have worked better.

Now that Dean had him secure, he glanced at Sammy. His little brother was curled up in the corner of the room with the stupid stuffed dog and a hand over his face. There was blood dripping through the fingers. Dean left the bedroom and retrieved a towel from the bathroom. When he came back he knelt down in front of Sam and moved his hand out of the way. There was blood all the way down Sam’s shirt.

Dean pressed the towel to Sam’s nose and tried to joke, “Quit beating yourself up, Sammy.”

Sam looked at him with confusion and struggled to say, “Please… don’t…hurt… friend.”

At least Sam was speaking English to him. Still, Dean was annoyed and he had to interrogate the man to find Dad. This was important. He didn’t want to have to raise Sammy on his own. Dean smiled at his brother and patted Sam’s shoulder. He reassured, “Don’t worry, Sammy. I’ll find Dad.” With that, Dean turned back to the man. He was struggling in the bindings. Dean pulled out one of Sam’s toy knives. This one was used for cutting play dough. He pointed the small blue knife at the name and demanded, “Who are you? Where is our dad?”

The man looked at him with wide eyes and said frantically, “Dean? You remember me, don’t you? I’m Sully. I’m a Zanna. Sam’s Zanna. I am one of the good guys. I won’t hurt you.”

Dean lunged forward and stabbed the blue knife into Sully’s stomach. He pulled the knife away and saw that it didn’t leave a mark. He glared at the man and asked, “How did you do that?”

Sully breathed a sigh of relief and said, “Fat is the best… Dean, don’t be a germ. Untie me. Sammy is hurt and I know you don’t want to see him hurt.”

Dean tossed the knife to the side and searched Sammy’s room for something else to interrogate the man with. He found a bottle of water. He poured some of the water slowly on Sully’s head while Sully shook his head to try to escape the stream of water. He grinned with how genius his plan was. Dean demanded, “Where is my dad?”

Sully stared at him wide eyed and said slowly, “Dean, are you asking about John or are you asking about Gabriel?”

Dean eyed him for a moment. He didn’t understand what exactly Sully was asking. John was Sir and Gabriel was Dad. Everyone knew that. Sir was dead. Dean remembered Sir dying. It was in the hospital and Sammy spilled coffee on himself. Carefully Dean said as he poured more water on Sully, “Sir is dead. I am asking about our dad. Where is he?”

Sully opened his mouth and drank some of the water Dean was pouring on him. Then Sully nodded slowly and agreed, “Yes, Sir… John is in Heaven. Your dad… Gabriel is attending to angel business. He asked me to watch the two of you.”

Dean scoffed, “I don’t need a babysitter.” He was old enough to watch Sammy. He was a mature young man if he did say so himself and he protected Sammy from Rainbow Man. He was pretty sure his dad was going to be proud.

Sully took a deep breath and asked, “Dean, have you ever thought about what Sammy is feeling right now?”

Dean glanced at Sam and saw that he was frightened in the corner of the room. The towel was still held to his face. He asked Sammy, “Are you doing okay?” Sam nodded and mumbled something in Enochian. Dean felt annoyed by that so he stocked over to Sam and screamed at him, “Why can’t you just speak English? Why do you always have to be so stupid? You were going to go play with this intruder weren’t you, Sammy? Didn’t Sir ever teach you anything? Friends are how you end up dead. No friends, Sammy. Not now, not ever.”

Sam shrunk back into himself against the wall as he clutched the stuffed dog to his chest. He didn’t say anything but Dean knew he overreacted. He shouldn’t have said what he said. Sully’s gentle voice rang in his ears, “Hey Sammy, it’s okay. We can still be friends. You don’t have to listen to Dean and he hasn’t hurt me. It’s okay. Just close your eyes and cover your ears for me, okay? It’ll be okay. I promise.”

Sam did as he was told. He closed his eyes and covered his ears with his hands. Dean turned his attention back to Sully. He had to find his dad.

++

Gabriel arrived back from speaking with Bobby and the first thing he heard was screams. He rushed back to Sam’s room and he saw water, blood, and socks. Dean was standing over Sam’s bed hitting Sully with a wet sock. Sammy in the corner and covered in blood. Sam had his eyes buried in his knees and his blood covered hands were over his ears.

Gabriel had no idea what happened maybe leaving the boys with a babysitter wasn’t such a good idea.


	13. Chapter 13

Gabriel now knew for a fact why both John Winchester and Bobby Singer drank heavily. These boys were handfuls but he didn’t think Dean was helped by being left to care for Sammy. He snapped his fingers to untie Sully and clean up Sammy. It was the easiest solution to the whole situation. Although, he knew he would still have to give Sammy’s nose and other ouches kisses later.

Dean must have felt either his grace or saw him because Dean dropped the wet sock and smiled at him. Gabriel took a calming breath because Dean looked proud for capturing Sully. Gabriel decided to choose his words carefully, “Deano, why did you tie your babysitter up and why was Sammy bleeding?”

Dean shrugged and looked back at Sammy. He calmly stated, “Sammy’s not bleeding and you didn’t tell me about a babysitter. Besides, Sammy doesn’t need a babysitter. I can watch him.”

Gabriel pinched the bridge of his nose and said carefully, “Dean, you are too young to stay by yourself. The babysitter was for both of you.” A sniffling Sammy came over to Gabriel and grabbed hold. He wrapped his arms around Sammy and kissed the top of his head. He whispered to Sammy, “You’re okay, kiddo.”

Sammy muttered quietly in Gabriel’s ear in Enochian, “Why can’t I have friends?”

Gabriel saw no reason for Sam not to have friends and he wondered where Sam ever came up with such an idea. Based on the look of hate Dean was giving Sully, Gabriel had a pretty good idea where that idea came from. He didn’t want to admit it to himself that Dean could actually be hurting Sam’s self-confidence and diminishing his self-worth.

He ran his hand gently up and down Sam’s arm as he said in English so Dean would hear. “It’s okay for you to have friends, Sammy. This is my fault. I didn’t wake you boys, before I left and Deano overreacted.”

Dean snapped, “Yeah well, I still don’t need a stupid babysitter!”

Gabriel sighed while not letting go of Sammy. He pointed to the vacant corner of the bedroom and said firmly, “Dean. Corner. Now. I will deal with you later.”

Dean huffed out an angry breath and stomped to the corner. Gabriel knew Sam was watching to see what would happen to Dean. He kissed the top of Sammy’s head and reassured, “You’re okay. Dean’s okay. Sully’s okay.”

Sam turned his head to look at his friend. Gabriel knew that Sam and Sully had a special connection. He just didn’t know how much Sam remembered of it which to Gabriel was one of the saddest things about this curse. Sam’s memory, like Dean’s, was shattered. They could remember pieces and horrible things came out in the form of nightmares, but their life was lost to them. Sam, the man who sacrificed himself to save the world, didn’t even remember doing it.

Gabriel said quietly to Sam, “Would you like to play with Sully while I talk to your brother?”

Sam shook his head no and said firmly in broken English, “Dean stepped bottle.”

Gabriel was confused but there were two crushed plastic bottles on the floor. Sam must have stolen them out of the recycling at some point. He was about to ask when Sully spoke up, “Hey Sammy, it’s okay. We can play something else. Go you want to play with your horses?”

Sam eyed him curiously and said, “Bottle rockets.”

Bottle rockets sounded dangerous for a little guy like Sammy. Maybe Dean would be okay with bottle rockets but not Sammy. Gabriel wondered why Sully even mentioned such a thing to Sammy. Sully answered his question. This time speaking in Enochian. “The last time Sammy was a child, I suggested bottle rockets. We didn’t have time, though. But Sammy, we have lots of time. We should play while Dad talks to your brother. How does that sound?”

Sam nodded and pulled himself away from Gabriel. He picked up a small bucket containing his toy farm animals and sat them on the bed between himself and Sully. Gabriel smiled at the two as they started to talk in Enochian. It was like old friends catching up.

++

Dean sat down in the living room with his dad. The first words out of mouth were, “I’m sorry for beating up Sully. I thought he was going to hurt Sammy.” Dean paused and added, “And I am sorry… ish for saying Sammy can’t have friends. I just don’t like the idea of him having friends. Sir never let us have friends because they’re dangerous.”

His dad shook his head and said gently, “It’s okay, Deano. You’ll need to apologize to Sammy later. You did break his nose but I healed it.”

Dean felt his dad touch the side of his face and he felt himself drift to sleep. Then he found himself in the middle of a field where an older version of himself stood. This older version looked tired and scarred by life. Dean really didn’t want to be him. Dean felt this older Dean touch him then the world went white.

++  


Gabriel used his grace to look inside Dean’s mind in the hope of finding what Dean truly wanted. He knew it was an invasion of privacy to look at Dean’

_Dean ran through his house with his racecar. “Vroom! Vroom!” He squealed in delight as his racecar jumped off the banister and onto the floor. His car was badass, as his dad would say. He crawled around on the floor with his car until he made it to the living room. His dad had the adult juice in his hand and looked to be sleeping. Dean ran the car up to his dad’s leg, “Vroom! Vroom!”_

_His dad sputtered awake and Dean knew his dad was angry. He bellowed, “Leave me alone. When is your mother getting home?”_

_Dean pulled his car away and shook his head. He stared at the ground as shame filled him. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”_

_John stood and pushed him down. Dean felt his butt hit the ground and he tried not to cry. Big boys don’t cry. Only sissy boys cry. At least that was what his dad thought. John yelled, “Thank God, we are having another baby maybe this one won’t be a complete failure like you.” Dean felt tears well up in his eyes. Why wasn’t he good enough? He didn’t want to be so bad that he needed a little brother or sister just to make his parents happy._

Gabriel nearly pulled his hand away at the memory. At least, this explained some of young Dean’s subtle hostility toward Sammy. It didn’t justify it but it explained why Dean did the things he did. It didn’t, however, answer the question of what Dean wanted.

_Dean proudly turned eight years old today. He was well on his way to being a strong man just like his dad. He straightened his hair as he walked out to get his birthday present. He was really hoping for a new toy. Sam and he didn’t have many toys so they were always excited to get a new one._

_He stopped cold in his tracks when he saw his dad going through his duffel bag. John was taking out all of his toys. Even the racecar he had from before the fire. He watched in horror as his dad threw his toys in the trash. He wanted to stop his dad. He wanted to yell and tell him no but he couldn’t. The words dried up on his tongue._

_John looked at him sternly as he closed up the small trash bag containing Dean’s few toys. “You’re a man now, Dean. You don’t need toys.”_

_Dean nodded mutely. He didn’t trust himself to speak right now. He wanted to run back into the bathroom and cry or try to save his toys. He really wasn’t sure which one he wanted to do more. But he made himself a promise on that day. He would protect Sammy’s toys. He would find a way._

Gabriel now knew for certain he should have smote John Winchester’s soul in Heaven. Who does that to a kid? Lucifer didn’t even mess with his toys when they were fledglings. In fact, Lucifer never messed with any fledglings’ toys, even after he had the mark. Gabriel thought that was saying something considering Lucifer was a grade-a dick.

_Sam’s eighth birthday was coming up and Dean knew he had to protect Sammy. The kid would be devastated to lose his toys. Especially, the teddy he slept with. John called it girly and dumb. He was always so mean to Sam about it, but Dean understood Sam wasn’t ready to be a man. Not yet, anyways._

_He watched Sam color as the television played a cartoon that he was certain Sam wasn’t even paying attention to. Uncle Bobby let Sam pick out his own coloring books for while they were here. Sam always picked out ones with puppies, kittens, unicorns, or fairytales. He never picked out what Dean considered masculine coloring books and Uncle Bobby never tried to steer him toward the more masculine ones._

_Dean watched as Uncle Bobby sat down next to Sam and said proudly, “You’re doing really good at coloring that unicorn, Sammy.”_

_Sam nodded and sounded distracted, “Thank you, Uncle Bobby. His name is Sparkle. I am coloring it for Dean.”_

_Uncle Bobby ruffled Sam’s hair which caused Sam to glare at the old man. Bobby just chuckled in return and mock pouted, “I don’t get one? Poor me.”_

_Sam grinned and sounded serious, “I will color you one!” Sam was always looking for approval and a way to please people._

_Dean didn’t know how he was going to get Sam to part with his toys but he hoped Uncle Bobby could help._

Gabriel wasn’t sure what to think when he pulled his hand way, but suddenly everything made sense. Dean was probably close to eight or so mentally right now. The same age Dean was when his childhood got ripped away from him for a second time. It explained the jealously Dean felt toward Sam for having toys and a loving parent. It explained why Dean got overprotective of Sam. Dean was hurting.

_There was a loneliness to being on the road without Sam. His little brother demanded to stay with Bobby during his senior year of high school. It caused a fight and his dad’s refusal. Sam won, though. Emancipation was what the court called it. Sam had himself declared in adult and moved in with Bobby. There was nothing either John or he could do._

_John swore to never speak to Bobby again and told Sam he better come back after high school. Dean didn’t really know if Sam would but he did know that it was hard to escape hunting._

_Dean filled the brother size void in his heart by hooking up with women. It was easy for him to find women because he had a pretty face. Sure they said he was hot and amazing. The only time Dean ever felt good enough was in bed with a woman. That was the only time he was given compliments or at least wanted compliments._

_He was fairly certain his self-worth was somewhere around zero. Dean didn’t want to be a grunt. He wanted to be smart like Sam and a man like his dad, but he wasn’t either of those things. If his dad knew the things he did to keep Sammy fed, Dean didn’t think his dad could ever look at him again. He could hardly look at himself in the mirror and the compliments from ladies sometimes felt like the words spoken to him at times he would like to forget._

_Dean knew if he had to do it all over again. He would change everything. He had this dream he never told anyone about where his mom was still alive and his dad wasn’t a mean drunk. They played board games and his dad watched his wrestling matches. He had a room filled with trinkets from his life and on his nightstand was his racecar._

_It was just a fantasy but sometimes, Dean wished he had a different life._

Gabriel got the answer he was looking for and it broke his vessel’s heart. Dean did deserve a childhood and parents that loved him. He knew that he couldn’t give Dean a mother and a father, but he could be a good father to Dean. There was no way, he was letting Mary Winchester anywhere around the boys or him. Mary already stabbed him once. He thought she would harm Sammy and Dean. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took so long to get out. You can thank a disorganized teacher that left my name off the list of assigned writing assignments for me having time to write this. Yeah, I know, I probably should have checked this list when it came out and not early Sunday morning.


	14. Chapter 14

With Dean sleeping and not trying to torture any babysitters, Gabriel could focus his attention on Sam. He could hear Sam giggling in the other room as he played with Sully. It was good for Sam to have friends. He knew neither Sam or Dean had many friends. Anyone that got close to them had a tendency to die. Even he died when he got close to the boys. Gabriel knew someday he would have to talk to them about his death and the times they died. He just hoped it wouldn’t be for a long time. He knew he could sugar coat his own death, but it was impossible to sugar coat the deaths that Sam and Dean faced. They went to Hell. Dean was tortured by demons and Sam was tortured by a fallen archangel. Gabriel wasn’t sure there were words to fully describe what happened to them and he was never good with words, to begin with. Words were a human invention.

Gabriel knocked lightly on the open door to Sam’s room. He asked as Sam turned his head to look at him, “Can I talk to you for a few minutes, kiddo?” Sam glanced at Sully suspiciously. Gabriel had a feeling that Sam was worried Sully would leave. “You can play with Sully once we are done chatting and you’ve had a nap. You’ll see Sully again, I promise. I would never keep you from your friends.”

Sam nodded slowly then he got up as he said, “Okay Daddy. I’m hungry.” Of course, Sam was hungry. The kid was always hungry in part because he ate like a kid. He would eat the amount served to someone with his mental age in one sitting, not the amount needed for someone his size. Gabriel tried to make up for it by giving both of the boys' snacks throughout the day, but more often than not one of them declared they were hungry.

Gabriel took Sam’s hand and guided him to the kitchen. He pulled out some carrots and a glass of chocolate soy milk for Sam. He sat across from Sam as the kid munched on his snack. He wasn’t sure how to approach this subject with Sam but he knew he had to. Gabriel asked, “Sammy, how do you feel about Dean being here?”

Sam tilted his head slightly as he dipped his carrot in his milk and took a bite. He chewed so slowly Gabriel was certain Sam was toying with him. Gabriel didn’t reprimand Sam, though. He decided to wait Sam out. Two carrots and ten minutes later, Sam finally answered him. “He’s my brother. He’s supposed to watch out for me because I’m not very good at watching out for myself.”

Gabriel wanted to argue that point but he didn’t. The boys needed each other. He asked gently, “You understand that what Dean did you and Sully was not acceptable, right?” Sam shook his head no and Gabriel added, “Sammy, Dean loves you dearly. But it’s not okay to hit people you, love. It’s not okay to keep them locked away from the world. It’s okay for you to have friends. It is okay for Dean to have friends.”

Sam pushed his empty plate and glass away from him after he finished and shrugged, “Dean is my friend.”

Gabriel smiled slightly and asked, “Am I your friend?”

Sam giggled and shook his head no. He declared, “No, you’re my Daddy. You’re my best friend.” Sam’s words filled Gabriel’s vessel’s heart with joy.

He reached out a hand and brushed it on top of Sam’s. Gabriel started to look inside Sam’s memories.

_Sammy tugged on his backpack as his tummy growled. He was so hungry but he knew if he went to school his teacher would give him something to eat. Dean and Dad were sleeping. They didn’t get home until really late night and Dean missed school a lot. Sammy didn’t bother waking either of them before he left._

_It was raining outside and cold. He just wanted to be fed and warm so bad. He walked silently to the school only to find it locked. Sammy held up his hand and counted the number of days in a row he went to school this week. He was pretty sure it was five and today would have been the sixth day. It was then Sammy remembered that school was usually five days on and two days off. Sam sniffled when he realized he may not eat for two days._

_Sam looked up at the sky and prayed as rain hit his face. “Please God, Dean says you’re not real but I think you are. Please, I’m hungry and… Dean and Dad are real tired. Dad is mean and I think he hates me. I don’t know what to do.”_

_Sam was startled out of his silent prayer by one of the recess ladies. Her voice was kind and gentle, “You’re Sammy right? One of Mrs. Livingston’s first graders.”_

_Sammy nodded and stood up. He adjusted his backpack on his shoulders and muttered, “I’m really sorry. I got my days mixed up.” It was then Sammy’s tummy rumbled loudly and the recess lady rolled her eyes._

_She held out her hand and said, “Come with me. I’ll get you dried off and take you home.”_

_Sammy took the lady’s hand and she unlocked the school without a key. She pulled out a towel from one of the closets and started to rub Sam’s shoulders. Anywhere the towel touched it dried him instantly. The woman then sat Sam down at an empty desk and gave him a peanut butter and banana sandwich._

_Sammy took a bite of the sandwich and said gratefully, “Thank you, Miss.” Peanut butter and banana were his favorite._

_The lady smiled, “Ambriel.”_

_Sammy nodded and corrected himself, “Thank you, Miss Ambriel.”_

Gabriel pulled his hand away and realized that it wasn’t just demons following Sam around all his life, but also angels. That little tidbit actually helped explain why Sam always had faith in God because everything tended to work out for Sam in the end. He touched Sam again and this time got a different memory.

_Sam walked home from school again. His dad picked a motel five miles from the high school and it was snowing. The least his drunk ass could do was pick him up and drop him off at school but he couldn’t even do that. They didn’t have a hunt going right now and Dean was working at a bar in the evening. Sam knew what Dean was doing at the bar. He wasn’t an idiot by any means but he didn’t call Dean out on it. He didn’t want to cause a rift with his one real friend. It was better to pretend everything was okay when it wasn’t._

_He opened the door to the motel room and the smell of stale whiskey hit Sam’s nose. He hated that smell. Sam walked in slowly because he knew how his dad got. As soon as he closed the door, an empty bottle was thrown at his head. Sam was able to dodge it and it shattered on the wall behind him. He felt some of the glass get caught in his hair. Sam wiped a hand through his hair to shake out the glass. He would clean it up after his dad passed out and before Dean got home._

_John drunkenly slurred at him, “Where the fuck has you been?”_

_Sam sighed and sat his backpack down on the table. He stated tiredly, “School.”_

_John sat up a little and pointed at him accusingly. “You’re lying. An evil little shit like you doesn’t need to go to school. Do think being smart is going to make up for what is in your blood? Do you think it is going to make people like you? No… No, I know you weren’t at school. You were probably off screwing some boy again. I can’t believe I raised a fag.”_

_One time, one time Sam found himself asking his dad if it was okay for two boys to love each other. He was ten and still innocent. He still trusted his dad back then, but that question changed his dad. A lot of things changed his dad but that question made his dad hate him. Sam didn’t even know if he was gay. He still didn’t. Sam had never found physical beauty attractive for either gender. Sam had only ever felt attraction toward someone once he got to know them and gender never mattered. Sam wasn’t sure what that made him. Maybe it did make him a fag like his father said._

_Sam knew arguing with his father would be pointless. Therefore, he sat down at the small table and pulled his calculus book out of his backpack. As he started on the first question of his homework he heard his father snort out, “I knew he didn’t go to school.”_

Gabriel moved his hand away and decided he was returning to Heaven to smite John Winchester.

_Sam wasn’t sure how many days they have been stuck in TV Land but the Trickster had an amazing choice in TV programming. He was ashamed to admit that ever since The Nutcracker, he had felt a growing attraction to the Trickster. Sam knew Dean would be pissed. Yet, another monster he was attracted to._

_It was just the Trickster felt different. He didn’t really think the Trickster would kill either of them, at least not permanently. He found himself dreaming of the Trickster. His grin. His ass. The demigod really was perfect. Sam wished he would ask the Trickster out and maybe see where it all went but he couldn’t. Dean would stake him._

The memory cut off and a new one formed.

_Sam crept into the abandoned motel. It wasn’t vibrant like it had been when the gods took over. It was back to its state of decay. Sam walked into the main dining hall and held back a sob. On the floor, Gabriel laid. His wings spread out behind him and his eyes open toward Heaven, the home he ran away from. Sam knelt down next to Gabriel’s body and brushed a hand through his hair. He whispered, “I’m sorry. This is all my fault.” He laid a chastise kiss on the archangel’s forehead. Then he closed Gabriel’s eyes._

_Carefully, Sam wrapped Gabriel’s body in a sheet and carried him out of the decaying motel. The body was placed in the back of a car Sam hotwired. He drove as tears and guilt flooded his eyes. He had loved Gabriel, but he never dared to tell him or anyone. He felt more of a connection to Gabriel than he ever felt with Jess. Sam knew he could just be feeling lust and if Gabriel was alive he would probably accuse him of being a fanboy. But it wasn’t that. It was deeper than that._

_Sam drove for hours until he reached the secluded spot where they burned his father. He carried Gabriel’s body and laid him down. He built up the pyre with the body on top and lit it. The flames which were normally orange and yellow were white. Sam could swear it was because of Gabriel’s grace reaching up toward the Heavens to finally go home._

_He cried silently until he heard footsteps behind him. Sam turned and saw Chuck. He shook his head and asked, “What are you doing here?”_

_Chuck pursed his lips as he looked at the fire. The prophet said gently, “I had a vision of this. I thought you could use a friend.”_

_Sam gave a humorless laugh, “Thanks.”_

_Chuck shook his head as he touched the fire. Sam wanted to warn him that it would burn but he didn’t. The fire didn’t burn Chuck. The prophet’s voice was light when he said, “You know Sam, he saved you and your brother because he cared about you. Gabriel was a good son. He died doing what was right and what God would have wanted. I think once this is all over, God will reward him somehow.”_

_Sam sniffled and said quietly, “He told us about the horseman’s keys.”_

Gabriel wasn’t really surprised that his dad showed up to his funeral. He was surprised that Sam was there and apparently Sam had a crush on him or was in love with him, possibly both. Gabriel had been attracted to Sam before. He attributed to it being because of who Sam was and who he represented. Sam was supposed to be Lucifer’s vessel and Lucifer was once the most beautiful of all the angels. It wasn’t just Sam’s vessel that was beautiful. It was his soul. Not even Lucifer’s cage could distort Sam’s soul and make it ugly.

Sam’s memories didn’t shed any light onto what he should do about the current situation. All it told him was that Sam would probably have sex with him if he was his adult self. That thought made Gabriel a little uncomfortable. He changed Sam’s diapers and bathed him. Sam trusted him explicitly not to take advantage of him and what kind of parent wants to screw their kid? A sick one. That was the sort of parent Gabriel targeted as a Trickster.

“Do you ever think that maybe you worry too much?”

Gabriel glanced up at Sully. He had forgotten the Zanna was there. He shook his head and whispered, “Sam loved me. He mourned my death. He wanted a relationship with me.”

Sully sighed and asked again, “Do you ever think that maybe you get to have that relationship now?

Gabriel shook his head and said slowly, “Not this kind of relationship, he wanted to have sex with me. I don’t look at Sammy and see someone I want to screw. When he was an adult I did but not now. He is my son. I would never hurt him like that.”

Sully smiled slightly, “This is a curse you’re dealing with. The Sam that wants to have adult time with you is still in there. The toddler Sammy we saw today is out in the present. What is wrong with loving them both when the time is right?”

Gabriel eyed him suspiciously, “So you’re saying to be Sam’s father now and then when Sam grows up if he wants something more then we can...” The whole thing sounded wrong to Gabriel. It sounded off. He couldn’t do it.

Sully shook his head and said, “Do you ever think that maybe Sammy trusts you completely and would let you possess him?”

Gabriel had a firm answer to that one, “No.”


	15. Chapter 15

Gabriel watched the sunrise as Sam and Dean slept in his bed. Neither one of them managed the entire night in their own room. He slipped out of being snuggled in between them to watch the sun. The boys cuddled up with each other and Gabriel knew their adult selves would swear on their life that they never did such a thing. However, Gabriel thought it was cute.

He was startled by his father’s voice, “Gabriel, have you made a decision?”

Gabriel glanced back at his dad and snapped, “oh hey Dad, I found out today you made it to my funeral. Thanks for that. I’m also glad that you and Lucifer were able to kiss and make up. He killed me. He destroyed my son. Yet, you still love him more. I don’t understand.”

Chuck sat down next to Gabriel and said carefully, “Gabriel, I gave you your life back. I knew you weren’t lost forever so perhaps that made dealing with your death different for me. With Sam, he made his choice. I wanted Sam to die when his soul was pulled out of the cage. I wanted him to find eternal happiness but he had to die first.”

Gabriel glared at Chuck and stated, “Well, thank you for not killing him outright. Every human dreams of dying in metal hospital hallucinating your favorite son.”

Chuck nodded and asked, “So your choice?”

Gabriel sighed, “I want them turned into children. I can’t ask Sam to let me possess him and if I let the curse run its course without changing them, they will be old men by the time it is lifted. At least this way, they will still have years ahead of them.”

Chuck snapped his fingers and stated, “It is done. Sam is three. Dean is seven.”

Gabriel nodded and stood up, “Thanks, Dad. This means a lot. Say you wouldn’t mind babysitting so I can smite John Winchester and kill every British Man of Letters, would you?” Gabriel wanted to make sure nothing ever threatened his boys again.

++

Sammy woke up in his daddy’s bed which seemed huge all of a sudden. He felt much smaller. He sat up and rubbed his hands over his eyes before looking at his hands. They looked chubby. Sammy poked his hands in confusion. Then he glanced over at Dean. His brother looked the same, but he looked smaller on the bed too.

Sammy got up slowly and slid off the bed. Everything was bigger now. He shrunk like in that movie where people shrunk. It scared him and he wanted his daddy. Sammy picked up Riot and tucked his toy under his arm. Then he went in search of his daddy.

He found him sitting on the back porch talking to the scary man. Sammy crept up to Gabriel and grabbed onto his leg. He didn’t understand why his daddy didn’t shrink. He felt Gabriel lift him up and sit him on his lap. Sammy snuggled in with his daddy and glanced at the scary man. He wasn’t sure what to make of the scary man.

Sammy whispered to Gabriel in Enochian, “I shrunk.”

Gabriel chuckled and said calmly, “You’re fine kiddo. Do you want to say hi to your grandfather?”

Sammy glanced at the scary man and said in English, “Hi.”

A smile broke out across the scary man’s face. The scary man, Grandpa, walked over to him and ruffled his hair. Sam found this annoying so he batted the man’s hand away. The man chuckled and said fondly, “Are you a little rebel, Sammy?”

Sammy glanced up at the scary man and thought about the question. He didn’t know what a rebel was. He looked at his daddy because he didn’t understand. His daddy said, “A rebel is someone that likes to do things their own way.”

Sammy rubbed Riot over his face. He wasn’t sure if he liked to do things his own way. Some things he did. However, he liked doing what his daddy wanted because he knew he was cared for and safe. He knew no one was going to hurt him. It wasn’t like with Sir. He didn’t remember much about Sir but he knew that sometimes, he would hurt or be hated even if he did as he was told. It wasn’t like that with Daddy. Daddy loved him, Sammy was sure of it.

He shook his head no at the scary man and declared, “No. I love Daddy.”

++

Mary Winchester left the bunker and hunted because that was all she knew. She had John’s car and the wind in her hair. She missed her sons but she knew they were lost to her. They were strangers, to begin with.

It was after she killed a vamp that she nearly swerved off the road when a simple photograph appeared on her dashboard. It was a picture of a little boy with dark brown hair and hazel eyes with an older boy green eyes and sandy blonde hair. She knew these were her sons. They were standing outside a playground. The older boy’s arms were wrapped around the dark haired one. Their eyes were bright and innocent.

Her children were growing up again. Even with her second chance, she would still miss out on all their years. They would never get to know their mother. This much, Mary knew. She wondered what sort of men they would become this time around and she wondered if she would ever get the chance to see them.

++

Dean adjusted his tie. He found it important to wear a tie to his first day of school. Technically, it wasn’t his first day of school. He was a second-grader, after all, but it was his first day at this school. The part that made him nervous was that his dad said Sir wouldn’t make them move anymore and he wouldn’t have to change school districts anymore. He could make friends and that idea terrified Dean. He wasn’t sure about this whole friend thing. He wasn’t sure he liked the idea. Dean was just glad Sammy didn’t start prekindergarten until next year. He knew that he will have to check to make sure the prekindergarten teachers weren’t monsters and most importantly, the janitor. He remembered janitors having a special interest in Sammy and no janitor was going to take his baby brother away. Dean also wasn’t sure how to keep Sir from taking them.

Dean walked up to the school holding his daddy’s hand. He heard his daddy speak calmly to a lady behind the desk. “Hello, my name is Gabriel Singer. My son, Dean, is supposed to start in second grade today. Here is his transfer paperwork.”

Dean glanced at the lady behind the counter. She was pretty. He winked at her and flirted, “Hi honey, how are you?”

The woman chuckled and said to him, “Why aren’t you just a little ladies man?”

Dean smiled and pulled his shoulders back. He said proudly, “Only for you.” He winked again because he knew the ladies liked that.

Both his daddy and the lady laughed at that one. His dad apologized, “I’m sorry. Dean thinks he is thirty-seven.” His daddy shook his head and added, “He is a sweet boy though with a big heart.”

Dean nodded seriously and declared, “The biggest for my Sammy.”

++

By the end of school, Dean had isolated and removed the bully threat from second grade. He determined that the janitor could be a monster. He noticed smoke around the janitor’s closet and the janitor had bloodshot eyes. He wasn’t sure what type of monster he was but he would do his research to find out how to kill it.

The lunch ladies were also of great concern to Dean. The food was awful and Dean was almost certain it contained some sort of witch potion. He would have to ask his daddy to make him lunch from now on to protect him from the lunch witches.

His teacher was probably a demon. At least that was what he thought while he waited for his daddy to come and talk to both of them. She was unreasonable and an asshole. He knew he couldn’t use the word asshole with his daddy so she was a butthole. Dean smiled when his daddy walked in holding Sammy. He missed his baby brother.

The teacher, Ms. Bee, said firmly, “Mr. Singer, I have some questions about Dean.”

He watched his dad put Sammy down and his little brother ran over to him. Sammy exclaimed something in Echonian. He had no idea what, though. Dean just shook his head and said, “I missed you too, Sammy.”

Gabriel said kindly, “Dean, Sammy, please play quietly while I chat with Ms. Bee.” He turned his attention to the teacher and said, “You had some concerns.”

Dean started playing with cars with Sammy but eavesdropped on the conversation. The teacher sounded stressed, “A boy pushed Dean today and Dean pinned the boy to the ground until the boy cried. That is not acceptable.”

Gabriel sighed, “Why did the boy push Dean? Does this other child have a track record for hurting other children? I won’t punish Dean for defending himself. By your own admission, he didn’t start it. The other boy did. Has this other child been removed from the classroom? Will this other child pose a threat to my child?”

The teacher sighed, “The other boy has some difficulties at home. He acts out a school but he doesn’t need…”

Gabriel cut the lady off. “I don’t care what problems he is having at home. No one can hit or shove my child, period. Dean has seen his fair share of horrible things and he will treat others the way he has been treated. If he bullies someone I will deal with it, however, I won’t condemn him for defending himself when you failed to protect him.”

The teacher asked kindly, “Okay, I see I am not getting anywhere with this. I would just like Dean to come to us when he is getting bullied instead of handling it himself. Also, we are having a mother’s breakfast on Monday next week. Do you think Dean’s mother will be able to attend? He got pretty upset when I mentioned it.”

Dean scowled as he rolled his toy car around. He didn’t have a mommy. He told the bitch teacher that. Dean must have been moving his car too aggressively because Sammy muttered something else in Enochian. It wasn’t fair that he didn’t have a mommy.

++

Chuck had suggested that she spend more time around humans. Her brother’s creations irritated her but she felt something special for Dean. She thought they were one so that was how she found herself in a library full of soccer moms and seven-year-olds. The other children were running around screaming but Dean sat on her lap happily eating a muffin. Amara wondered if it would be okay to kill the other children and parents. She could make it look like a freak accident.

An overweight woman wearing yoga pants, a cat sweater, and a fanny pack sat down next to her and said proudly, “My Jackson really likes your Dean. When did you and his dad move here?”

Amara glanced at Dean, who paid no attention the conversation, then she replied, “There is no mother for Dean. I am his… great aunt. I… I don’t want him to feel different because he doesn’t have a mother.” Amara knew what happened with Mary and she knew now it was a mistake to bring her back. However, the nothingness that Sam and Dean felt for Mary filled something inside her. It gave her a sense of bliss and she didn’t really understand why.

The woman laughed, “You’re a nice woman then and that explains why you’re wearing a black dress with your girls showing.” The woman winked and Amara had no idea what she was talking about. "Most of us dress a little more comfortably. I attract more men with my cat sweater than showing off my assets. You should take notes so you can have a little one of your own someday."

Just as she was considering eating this woman’s soul to understand her Dean said, “Hey, my Aunt Amara is beautiful.”

That statement stopped her, at least, for now. She would try to understand her brother's creations without destroying them. 


	16. Chapter 16

One thing Dean noticed was Sam was spoiled and clingy. About a month after they shrunk and he started school, Sam took to sleeping in their dad’s room. Sam would wake up crying and screaming about how Lucifer was going to hurt him. Dean thought Sam had one Hell of an imagination to think the devil was after him. Everyone knew the devil wasn’t real.

Dean had trouble sleeping alone. He knew Sam didn’t want to give up his bedroom despite its lack of use for sleeping. Dean was certain that if they shared a room, both he and Sam could get a goodnight’s sleep. He didn’t want to be a baby like Sam and have to sleep in their dad’s bed. He wasn’t weak like that. He was a Singer and Singer’s were totally badass or badbutt if his dad was around.

Anyways, the point was Dean knew he could handle sleeping alone. Only he wasn’t doing it very well. He was falling asleep at school and napping when he got home from school. He would nod off whenever someone he trusted was in the room with him because he felt safe, not that he would ever admit that.

He was at his Uncle Bobby’s house this afternoon. Uncle Bobby had picked him up from school because Dad and Sammy were off doing something. Which figured, sometimes Dean felt like the extra fiddle. He didn’t think he had as strong as bond with Dad as Sammy did. It didn’t really matter though because Dean knew that Dad would never abandon him, not like Sir did.

Dean decided to make the most of the situation. He pulled an old throw blanket off the back of Uncle Bobby’s sofa and wandered into his uncle’s office. Bobby was working on something behind the computer. Dean plopped down on the floor with the blanket and quickly fell asleep to the sound of Bobby’s breathing and the keys clicking.

++

For as much bravo that Dean Winchester always put up, Bobby sometimes forgot what an insecure kid Dean was. Sam and Dean were generally together when they were with him the first time they grew up. Although, there were times when it was just Sammy. It did explain why Dean always had a lady hanging off of him whenever Sam wasn’t around. Dean wanted to be love and sometimes lust could be confused with love.

He walked over to the sleeping seven-year-old and tucked a pillow under his head. Bobby thought about moving him but decided against it. He still had work to do and kids were resilient. Dean would be fine sleeping on the floor for a couple hours.

Bobby went back to work. He was keeping an eye on Mary Winchester and the other hunters. He knew that hunters were fickle people and thanks to Mary, Sam, and Dean Winchester were wanted, men. She spread the word that they were trapped by a supernatural being and being tortured. None of that was true, of course. Gabriel didn’t hold Sam and Dean hostage. The fact Dean was sleeping on his floor was evidence enough of that and Gabriel didn’t torture them.

Gabriel or Chuck, Bobby really wasn’t sure which one, made it appear as though he never died. It didn’t raise any red flags and no hunters came around his home or his rebuilt salvage yard. Gabriel had warded the whole area against monsters, demons, witches, and hunters. He just relayed cases to other hunters and kept a special eye on Mary. Bobby had no doubt that Gabriel would taunt her because that was just the archangel’s way.

Bobby clicked open his email and saw one from a hunter advising that Mary Winchester’s car and motel room was filled to the brim with candy wrappers. The hunter wanted to advise on how to take down a trickster. Bobby couldn’t help but chuckle. Gabriel had himself a target that he would taunt but never kill.

Bobby clicked his email closed when he heard his front door open and the excited footsteps of a little Sammy. Never in Bobby’s life had he known Sam Winchester to be so full of joy.

++

Dean woke up to the sound of purring. He blinked his eyes open and saw a grumpy looking black cat with blue eyes perched on his belly. Sammy was standing over him grinning from ear to ear. Dad and Uncle Bobby were chatting over by Bobby’s desk. Dean petted the cat which caused the cat to lick him and nuzzle his hand.

A small smile formed on Dean’s face and he wondered if he would get to keep the kitty or if it would stay at Uncle Bobby’s house. His dad’s voice ended his pondering, “Sorry you had to spend the afternoon with your grumpy old uncle, Deano. Sammy and I drove to pick up your cat. He is a specially trained service cat. His name is…”

Dean cut off his dad and declared, “Rufus.” The cat just looked like a Rufus to him. Old, grumpy, and if the cat was like most cats, he would be opinionated. So, Rufus, it was.

Gabriel sighed, “Okay then, Rufus is your cat. I thought you might sleep better with a fuzzy buddy and he was even trained to do some cool stuff.”

Dean sat up and picked up the cat to inspect him. The cat really did have a resting cranky face, but Dean loved it. He asked skeptically, “What cool stuff can the cat do? Cats are pretty dumb.” Dean was fairly certain the cat glared at him more with that statement.

Gabriel grinned and said to the cat in a childish voice, “Rufus, where is Dean’s nose?” Dean felt a paw touch his nose. “Rufus, where are Dean’s lips?” Dean felt a paw touch his lips. He thought this was pretty cool.

Dean sat down the cat and said, “Rufus, bring me my blanket.” The kitty turned around and started to tug on the throw blanket. This cat was amazing. Dean picked up the cat and snuggled him. He looked up at his dad and said happily, “Thanks, Dad. You’re the best.”

++

While Dean was in the shower, Gabriel ruffled the kitty’s fur. He playfully said, “Sorry Cassie, I guess you’re Rufus now.”

Castiel actually hissed at him which Gabriel found humorous. He wasn’t sure how long his dad would let him keep Castiel as a cat but it was pretty funny right now. He hadn’t had the opportunity to prank anyone since he had been resurrected excluding Mary and Castiel seemed like fair game. His baby brother, although well intentioned, did a great job of making a mess of things. Perhaps some time as a cat would help him.

Throughout the centuries, one thing that Gabriel found was that to truly understand people, he had to look at it from the perspective of the smallest being. This was one of the reasons why he didn’t want his boys eating his father’s creations. He turned himself into a rat during the Plague. He once was one of many fish in the sea and even a fish that lived in darkness at the bottom of the ocean. In his time on earth, Gabriel had lived as every creature, cat included.

Gabriel actually didn’t mind being a cat. An angel, he didn’t have to eat so he didn’t have to worry about killing mice. Although, he did eat a few mice. They were the bad ones, though. Some mice had no regard for other mice. Stealing and hiding were not only a trait of humans. Even the little creatures had that trait.

He felt claws dig into the skin of his arm and he looked down at Castiel. Gabriel shook his head and said firmly, “You better not do that to Dean. He’ll be very upset. Oh, and Cassie or should I say, Rufus?” Gabriel chuckled, “You need to snuggle with Dean at night. He has trouble sleeping and he doesn’t want to be viewed as childish by sleeping in my room.”

Castiel meowed at Gabriel. It was a good thing archangels can understand the cat. Castiel wanted to be changed back.

Gabriel petted Castiel’s head and said happily, “I can see if I can find a collar with a trench coat. Would that make you happy?”

Castiel hissed in reply. Gabriel just shrugged. His brothers could be really moody sometimes.

++

Castiel hated his older brother right now. If he could, he would have left this feline vessel, but he couldn’t. Archangels can be real ass butts. He was glad to be around Sam and Dean. He just wanted to actually be able to talk to them. Sure, he could meow but neither of them understood. Although, Sam seemed content to ramble to him for hours.

Dean was at school and Castiel was snatched up by Sam. He had no idea what the three-year-old had in mind but quickly enough they were at Sam’s room. Sam sat him down gently on the bed and petted him. Castiel started purring because Sam liked it, not because he liked being petted. Sam giggled when the purring started and declared, “I make Ruf pretty.” Sam was doing better with speaking English and Castiel noted that Sam seemed to speak English more around him. He wasn’t sure why Sam felt more comfortable speaking English to a cat and he couldn’t ask.

Sam stepped away from him and went to his box of outfits for his princess dolls. Castiel knew what was coming but decided not to run. Running would only upset Sam and he didn’t want to face Gabriel’s wrath if he hurt Sam’s feelings.

Sam returned with a Sleeping Beauty dress and manhandled him into it. Castiel tolerated this, begrudgingly. Once he was dressed, Castiel started to move to get off the bed. The dress was uncomfortable. He was certain he looked ridiculous and he wanted to go hide somewhere.

Sam snatched him up before he could make his escape. The toddler rocked him back and forth while his legs hung loosely below him. Castiel was certain that any other cat would have clawed Sam to death by now. Sam started humming Asian folk songs and Castiel started meowing his discontent. This made Sam hum louder so Castiel meowed louder. This was actually fun for both of them.

This went on until Gabriel arrived and asked, “Sammy, are you playing nice with Rufus?”

Castiel felt himself get dropped to the floor. Luckily, he landed on his feet. He turned his head and saw Sam bounding up to Gabriel. His brother picked up the toddler and ruffled his hair. Sam declared, “Princess Ruf.” As he pointed at him.

Castiel knew he was doomed and his brother was going to enjoy every minute of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter probably sucks and it is literally the closest thing I have done to anything productive besides going to work in the last twenty-four hours. I have been in a state of shock with the election results for my country. 
> 
> For anyone outside the Unites States, we tried and bigotry won out. Well, stupidity won out. I did vote. I stood in line for two and a half hours on Saturday morning to vote. It is a scary time for us. I fear for the safety of those with differing religious, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds. I fear for the safety of the world because of our nuclear weapons and the War Powers Act. 
> 
> I think the best thing anyone can do is to continue to live our lives with compassion and kindness. Sure, we lost the battle but our lives aren't over. We can still win the war against bigotry and hate.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in getting this updated. This chapter is mostly centered around Dean.

Castiel stretched out in the sun while Dean built a rocket. He wasn’t entirely sure if Dean would be a successful engineer but at least Dean was learning. One of Sammy’s toys made its way out there with Dean. Castiel was pretty sure it was Sammy’s favorite stuffed animal, Riot. He wasn’t concerned though because Dean would never do anything to hurt Sammy.

He glanced over at Dean when the boy muttered, “Sammy has everything.”

Castiel meowed in response. He wanted to let Dean know that he understood and that both he and Gabriel cared about him. Since Sammy wasn’t in school yet and Gabriel didn’t have a job, Sammy did get more attention from Gabriel and Sammy got to see Chuck, Amara, and Bobby more often. Not to mention, Sammy always slept in Gabriel’s bed to stave off nightmares of the cage.

Dean shook his head and pointed a screwdriver at Castiel. He said pointedly, “I know you play with Sammy when I am not around. I just want someone for myself. I don’t want to have to share everything with the stupid princess.”

Castiel rolled over and got up. He shook off his fur and sauntered over to Dean. He rubbed up against the boy to convey that he loved him. Castiel meowed and meowed trying to tell Dean that he was important and had things just to himself. Sammy was napping right now. Granted, he was passed out in the living room sleeping on Gabriel’s chest, but Dean had uninterrupted play time with him. He knew he was a cat but he still viewed himself as important to Dean. He belonged to Dean long before he belonged to Sam. He wanted to smite Sam in the beginning while he saved Dean.

Dean pushed him away and snapped, “I don’t want you messing up my rocket.”

Castiel shrugged and plopped back down a couple feet away. He went back to sun gazing instead of watching his charge. This would prove to be an error judgment.

It was the sizzle of fire that caused Castiel to look Dean’s way about twenty minutes later. Riot was strapped to the rocket that was about to take off any moment. Without thinking too much about it, Castiel lunged toward the rocket to try to free the stuffed puppy. Gabriel was going to kill him.

He felt the heat the fire on his fur as the rocket and puppy moved out of his grasp. He burned his whiskers and Castiel squalled as Riot entered the sky. He could hear Dean’s cheering and jumping. Castiel didn’t understand why Dean was happy.

Castiel wasn’t sure what to do. This wasn’t the Dean Winchester he knew. Dean, the Dean he knew, would never build a rocket to shoot his little brother’s favorite toy in the air. A rage filled Castiel that he had not known since the day Dean ran away to say yes to Michael. He pounced on the seven-year-old. He used his claws to scratch and beat the boy. Dean tried to throw him off but Castiel was a cat on a mission.

It was the thud of the rocket landing about a hundred feet away that tore him away from the bloodied child. He raced through the yard and cried out at the burned remains of Sammy’s favorite toy. He tried to lick the blackened bits of the puppy clean. He wished he had his grace to heal this toy to prevent Sam from feeling this heartache.

++

Gabriel was in the middle of helping Sammy with the potty when he heard Dean’s scream. His grace allowed him to see what was happening. Castiel was clawing the shit out of Dean. He didn’t know why. It was possible Dean just did something to piss him off and Castiel unleashed his inner cat or maybe Castiel was channeling his inner cat and attacking for no reason. Gabriel remembered hating human children during his time as a cat.

After Sam finished, he carried the small boy outside. The first thing he saw was a bloody Dean glaring daggers at Castiel. The angel cat appeared to be cleaning a burnt toy… Gabriel felt his grace freeze. Riot, Dean had shot Riot up on his rocket. Carefully the archangel put the three-year-old down. He used his grace to repair the damaged to the toy before Sammy would ever see it. As soon as Sammy started running clumsily toward Castiel and Riot, Gabriel turned his attention to Dean.

He asked his son shortly, “Dean, I told you that I had to be out here when you shot your rocket.” Dean said nothing but glared at him and Sammy. Sammy had Riot in his arms and was rocking the toy back and forth. Castiel seemed to be standing guard over Sammy. Gabriel continued, “What did you do to upset, Rufus?”

Dean at least had the decency to look sheepish. “Rufus was mad that I strapped Riot to the rocket.”

Gabriel pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. He said shortly, “I would imagine so. Even our cat knows how important Riot is to Sammy. How would you like it if someone to tried to blow up the Impala?”

Dean’s eyes grew wide and Gabriel hoped he had gotten through to Dean. His son kicked the ground and admitted, “I wouldn’t like that very much.”

Gabriel hummed. He wanted to know why Dean was acting like this. He rested a hand on Dean’s shoulder and reassured, “I know you wouldn’t. So, what do you say we don’t do anything we don’t want to be done to ourselves to other people? Treat others like you want to be treated. Do you think you can do that?”

Dean nodded his head as Sammy came running back holding Riot close to his chest. He said quietly, “Yeah, I can do that.”

Gabriel smiled and declared, “Excellent. What do you say tomorrow we have a father-son day? Just you and me.” Dean didn’t have school tomorrow so it would be a perfect time.

Dean shook his head and just sounded sad, “Yeah, but what about Sammy? We can’t leave him here alone.”

Gabriel grinned and played along, “We can’t? Are you sure?” He knew he could leave Sam alone because Castiel could watch Sam. Heck, he could even turn Castiel back into a human to watch Sam. However, that wasn’t Gabriel’s plan. Dean sighed dramatically instead of giving a real answer to his question. Gabriel ruffled Dean’s hair which earned him a scowl, “I am certain Uncle Bobby would love to spend some time with Sammy.”

++

Dean was excited. Finally, his dad was doing something just for him. It was thrilling really. He didn’t remember anyone making special time for him like this. The best part was that Sammy had to spend the day with Uncle Bobby. He hoped Sammy was miserable and crying for their dad all day.

Today was all about Dean. 

Dean grinned big when he saw the sign for the Air and Space Museum. He never got to go to a place like this before. Dean felt like a big boy when they got their tickets and started to look at the planes. He read the signs for each plane, every single one, to Dad. The best part was that Dad knew things about each plane that wasn’t on the sign. His dad must be really smart.

Dean grinned at hands on display which showed him what it would be like to be an astronaut on the moon. He tugged on his dad’s hand and said, “I want to do that.”  

His dad chuckled and sounded so happy since Sammy wasn’t around, “Okay Buzz Lightyear, let's go.”

Dean ran over and got in line. He bounced on his heels the whole time. He was so excited. Dean was giddy as the attendant strapped him in and then he was walking around dressed as an astronaut! It was so cool. He grinned at his dad as he took exaggerated steps. It was hard to move in this thing. Dean really did feel like he was walking on the moon. He waved at his dad just as he snapped a photograph of him.

It felt great to be the center of his dad’s world for once. Dean sort of wished things could stay like this forever. Of course, his dad had to go ruin everything.

Outside the museum was a helicopter. It was one used during the first Gulf War and they were taking people on rides. Dean thought he died when Gabriel said, “Hey Champ, we will be on the next ride! Doesn’t that sound great?”

Dean took a slow breath. That sounded horrible actually. The wings made a sound that Dean could only describe as a chomping sound, like if he went up in that thing he would get eaten alive. Nope, he wasn’t doing it. Dean used the dumb face Sammy always made to get his way and tried to sound sad instead of absolutely terrified. “No Dad, I don’t want to go on that. Can we… Can we just have a snack together instead?”

Gabriel grinned and said happily, “Sure thing, kiddo.”

They ended up in a small food court. Dean had a bottle of orange drink and a package of freeze-dried ice cream. He expected the ice cream to be cold but it wasn’t. It didn’t even really taste like ice cream. It was good but different. For some reason, Dean didn’t expect it to be crunchy. He asked, “Do they make freeze-dried pie?”

His dad chuckled, “I don’t think so, Dean.”

Dean frowned and took a drink. He shrugged and mumbled, “I guess I am never meant to be an astronaut.”

Gabriel hummed and agreed, “No, I suspect your future holds other endeavors. You could always be the person that builds or repairs the space shuttle. That just is even more important than the astronaut.”

Dean doubted that. The museum was filled with photos of pilots and astronauts. The only photos of the people that built anything were the inventors and Dean didn’t know if he could invent anything new. He countered his dad, “I don’t think so. There aren’t pictures the mechanics here.” He waved his arm around to indicate the museum.

Gabriel hummed and tapped his lip with his finger and sounded contemplative, “You know, Deano, the most important people in history are usually the ones that don’t make the history books. They are the ones on the sidelines. They are the wives and mistresses of the great kings. The General’s right hand man. Most of the men and women who die for a cause aren’t remembered. But all of those people were critical. Your name may never be in a history book and your picture may never be on the wall of a museum, but you are important.”

Dean narrowed his eyes and he was confused, “I still don’t get it.”

Gabriel sighed, “Without mechanics and engineers to build and repair a space shuttle, the astronauts could die. The whole ship could blow up.”

Dean thought he understood now. “Like with Challenger?”

Gabriel nodded, “Yes, like Challenger.”

Dean frowned that sounded sad. He squared his shoulders as he realized he didn’t have to do the scary jobs to be important. He could keep his feet firmly on the ground and use his skills to keep everyone safe and alive. He realized he was important. Dean frowned harder when he realized that part of his job was looking after Sammy. He kicked his feet and asked, “Why do you love Sammy more than me?”

He didn’t expect the look of shock on his dad’s face. Gabriel sounded horrified, “Dean, how could you think even for a minute that I love you less than Sammy? You’re both important to me and I love you both equally but in different ways.”

Dean picked at his freeze-dried ice cream and said quietly, “It’s just, Sammy gets to spend more time with you and do fun stuff because he doesn’t go to school… And he sleeps with you every night. I used to look after him and now he doesn’t need me anymore. It makes me mad because… I don’t know why.”

Gabriel placed his hand over Dean’s and Dean stopped picking at his ice cream. Gabriel kept his voice calm, “Dean, Sammy does need you. Being the big brother is a very important job, not everyone can do it. You’ll have to watch out for Sammy when he gets into school. You’ll be the one to tell him about the evil lunch lady and the cool librarian. You’re Sammy’s hero and he loves you dearly. I know you want to share a room with Sammy, but he has fears like you do. Right now, Sammy’s nightmares are keeping him awake at night. If he sleeps with me, he doesn’t have them.”

Dean muttered, “The librarian is evil and the lunch lady is nice…But what makes you so special to be able to make Sammy’s nightmares go away?”

Gabriel shrugged, “I’m an angel.”

Dean laughed. His dad could be funny sometimes. Dean knew his dad wasn’t an angel but he could see how Sam might feel safe around their dad. Their dad was big and strong. He could protect them from anything.

When Dean’s laughter calmed down, Gabriel said, “Deano, I’m not blind. I know you fear abandonment. I promise you that I am never going to leave either of you by choice. God himself, would have to call me home for that to happen and if it did, you still have people who love you and who will care for you.”

Dean felt the knot in his stomach untighten. He realized slowly that he was loved and safe. He also realized he had to start being a better brother to Sammy. He glanced up at Gabriel and asked, “Can I still be a good big brother and still go do things like this without Sammy?”

Gabriel grinned and said firmly, “Of course, we can pick a day and time of the week that is our special time. We can go do whatever you want within reason. How does that sound?”

Dean smiled. “Great Dad.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam age 5/Dean age 9

Today was a fun day for Sammy. He got to spend it with Uncle Bobby which was pretty awesome for a five-year-old. His daddy had some important work to do with Rufus. Sammy thought it was pretty neat that Rufus was such an important cat. He hummed quietly as he laid on the floor and played with Riot.

Sammy looked up when Uncle Bobby said in his grumpy voice, “Hey Sammy, are you ready for lunch?” His uncle looked tired and so was he. Sammy wondered if perhaps his uncle would take a nap with him later. He didn’t want to sleep alone because if he did Satan visited his dreams. Satan was a scary man that hurt him, Dean, Daddy, Uncle Bobby, and even Riot in his dreams. Sammy didn’t like to think about those nightmares too much. Sometimes, even after he woke up his skin would still feel like it was burning. It was sort of like a really bad sunburn.

He coughed slightly and lowered his head back down to the floor. Sam whined, “Noooo.” He really didn’t want to eat right now. His tummy hurt. Sam pouted a little and stomped his feet on the floor for dramatic effect.

Uncle Bobby sighed and picked him up. The sudden movement made Sammy’s tummy feel like it was rolling then something yucky came up his throat and nose. It burned and tasted foul. It reminded Sammy of some of the dreams of Satan. He screamed in his uncle’s hold and thrashed his limbs to try to get down, but his uncle was stronger than him just like Satan. Sammy cried as more yuck came out his throat and nose. He wanted his daddy.

Bobby carried him into the bathroom and sat him on the edge of the bathtub. Sammy cried as more yuck came out. It burned so bad. It was like a fire on his insides and he just couldn’t stop it. He flinched when he felt a cool washcloth touch his face. Then he realized it was Uncle Bobby trying to clean him up. Sam relaxed a little as he listened to Bobby’s gentle words, “You’re okay, Sammy. Just get it all out and you’ll feel better. Then I will help you get cleaned up. I think I have some nice comfy pajamas for you to change into.”

Sam felt the yuck trickle out his nose. It burned and he whimpered. Sam asked, “Is this real or is this Satan?”  He knew that sometimes he had trouble figuring out what was real and what wasn’t. His hallucinations prevented him from going to kindergarten like the other children his age. Daddy said he was special, but Dean said other kids are mean to people like him. Dean said they would call him names and beat him up. That didn’t sound very special to Sam.

Bobby rubbed his back and spoke gently. It was almost in a time Satan would use. “This is real, Sammy. Satan can’t hurt you, anymore.” That was the other thing. Daddy and Uncle Bobby never once denied that Satan hurt him, but Dean always thought he was imaging things or was crazy. Sometimes, Sam wondered if Daddy killed Satan.

Sammy coughed a little more yuck up and spit it into the bathtub. His voice was a little harsh from the yuck. “I want Daddy.”

Uncle Bobby sighed, “I know you do, bubby. He’ll be home soon.”

++

Gabriel glared daggers at his father and repeated slowly, “You want me to take the training wheels off my parenting of Sammy?”

Chuck nodded and took a sip from his _World’s Number One Dad_ cup. Gabriel wanted to smash the cup against the wall but he reframed himself. Chuck said slowly, “Yes, you’re not helping him by coddling him. He needs to learn how to manage his life.”

Gabriel picked the bridge of his nose and said slowly, “And what life would that be exactly? Lucifer broke him. He tortured Sam until there was nothing left. He did things to Sam, humanity hadn’t even dreamed up which is saying something. Sam would be a normal healthy five-year-old boy if it wasn’t for the stuff Lucifer put him through.”

Chuck shrugged and stated, “Everyone has different struggles. Humans are my greatest creations. I am confident he can adapt. He’s always adapted to what life threw at him.”

Gabriel decided to go for a different approach because he wasn’t getting through to his father. Arguing with God was generally pointless, but that never stopped Gabriel before. “Dad look, I understand you want me to be less hands-on with Sammy. I understand but even when you let humanity fend for themselves, they still had adults to look after them. And… Sam would be dead right now if it wasn’t for Castiel. A human adult brain can handle more trauma than a child’s brain. Sam would have died in a mental hospital if Castiel didn’t take the burden of the damage Lucifer caused. That British bitch caused Sam to regain all of that. If I stop protecting Sam as a child, he will die. I doubt he would even last a month.”

Amara spoke up from where she had been sitting looking rather bored. She sounded disgusted, “Chuck, why don’t you just take away the damage Lucifer did or would that be too much like admitting Lucifer is like me?”

This. This was the reason why Gabriel ran away and faked his death. Well, not father-aunt fights, but similar fights between his brothers and sisters. The thing was his dad and aunt could destroy whole worlds just by thinking about it and Earth was not the only world to have life. In his time running from his family, Gabriel traveled to some of them. If Sam and Dean weren’t bound to Earth for survival, Gabriel knew he would show them the universe and perhaps he could after they passed. Souls were much more portable. Or maybe the boys would be content to share their combined Heaven.

As Gabriel, could have predicted Chuck slammed his cup and fumed, “They are my creations, not yours.” 

Gabriel sighed and said slowly, “Okay fair enough, they are your creations. You gave them free will. You told me I could raise Sammy so let me raise him.”

Chuck glared at his sister and said coldly, “Fine, but stop blaming Lucifer. He’s not evil.”

Gabriel sighed. He was certain his family drama wasn’t normal.

++

Mary stared out her car window at Singer Auto Salvage. It took spell work to even find the place. It was well hidden. She watched as Bobby stepped out on the front porch with a boy in his arms. The boy needed a haircut in Mary’s opinion, but there was something about this boy that captured Mary’s attention. She had been in contact with a number of hunters and sometimes they would mention Bobby Singer’s nephews Sam and Dean. She couldn’t help but wonder if this boy was her Sammy.

She unlocked her car door and pulled the handle only to find it wouldn’t open. A voice came from the adjacent seat. “I thought I told you to stay away.”

Mary looked and saw Gabriel. The archangel looked more tired than annoyed. Perhaps caring for her boys was too much for him and she could have them back. She didn’t see the benefit in lying to an angel so she spoke honestly, “I want my boys back.”

Gabriel sighed as he stared out the window. He sounded distant when he said, “I want to show you something.” He reached out and touched Mary’s arm. Then the world around them changed.

It was a dark world with flickering red lights that swayed in an unseen wind. The air was cold and dry. It filled Mary with a sense of foreboding. She wanted to leave this place. Mary ran her hands up and down her arms as she breathed. She noticed that she could not see her breath or feel her chest rise. She asked Gabriel, “Where am I?”

Gabriel looked around for a moment then he said, “I helped my brothers build this place on my father’s orders. We aren’t really there. This is one of Sam’s memories. This is Lucifer’s cage.”

 Mary looked around the space as she felt her heart sink. She never wanted this for her son. She stopped scanning the room when she saw something in the corner of the room. She walked over to object. As she got closer, she saw it wasn’t an object at all but a man. The man trembled but didn’t fight or cry out. She watched as layer by layer his skin was burned away. It was only when the man turned his bloodied face toward her that she knew who this man was. Her son. She caused this.

Gabriel whispered in her ear, “Is it true that Sam would never be missed?”

Mary shook her head no as tears prickled her eyes. She said adamantly, “I never wanted this for my sons. I never wanted this for Sammy.”

Gabriel frowned at her and said firmly, “Yes, you did. Castiel absorbed the damage done to Sammy by Lucifer. However, the spell by that Brit caused all of that damage to come back to Sammy. He’s not handling it well. Only my grace is keeping him alive. You can help him, Mary.”

Mary wiped her eyes and asked, “What do I have to do?”

Gabriel smiled slightly, “We will walk up to Bobby’s house. You will get to hug your son and tell him you love him. Then you will do the one thing you can do to show that love, you will let me shift all of those memories and everything Sammy felt during his time with Lucifer to you. It will break you and perhaps in time kill you. But it will allow Sammy to have a normal childhood and a normal apple pie life.”

Mary cried as the world changed back to the inside of her car. She knew that what she saw was merely the surface of what Sam went through. She asked, “What about when Dean went to Hell?”

Gabriel glanced at her then he looked away, “Michael took care of Dean’s damage. He had the land around Dean absorb it. The area where Castiel resurrected Dean cannot grow anything. It is devoid of life. I can’t do the same, though. Michael has always been much more powerful than me.”

Mary knew in heart she had to do this. At the same time, Mary also knew it was Sam that killed her father. It made her angry to think that her baby boy could do something like that but she understood. Samuel Campbell wasn’t a grandfather to either Sam or Dean. In fact, her father gave her boys to the King of Hell which was pretty unforgivable. Mary nodded her head and said, “I’ll do it.”

++

Sammy frowned from where he sat on his uncle’s lap. The fresh air helped him feel better but seeing his daddy with a lady made him feel sour inside. He wondered if his daddy left to spend time with this lady instead of him which wasn’t fair because he was sick. Sam leaned his head on Bobby’s shoulder and listened to his uncle’s steady heartbeat.

His daddy’s cheerful voice made him smile, “Sammykins, are you not feeling well?”

Sam whimpered in reply and Bobby answered, “He’s been throwing up and running a little fever. I thought some fresh air might help him feel better.”

Sammy felt Gabriel lift him up and he wrapped his arms around his daddy’s neck. He glared at the lady but said nothing. He wanted her to go away. Sam found himself starting to feel better now that his daddy was here. Sometimes, all it took for him to feel better was his daddy. His daddy could fix anything. Gabriel kissed Sam on the top of the head and said slowly, “Sammy, can you say hello to Mary?” He tucked his head in Gabriel’s shirt to hide. He really wanted this lady to go away. Gabriel chuckled, “Sometimes, Sammy is a little shy.”

Mary reached out a hand and touched Sam’s shoulder. It caused the boy to flinch and he tried to move closer to Gabriel. Mary’s voice cracked as she said, “I love you, Sam… And I love Dean. You, boys, are so special to me.”

Sam looked up at her and said, “Who are you?” He figured he must be hallucinating again so he shook his head and muttered, “She’s not real.” Sammy closed his eyes and let his father rock him to sleep.

++

Bobby watched as Gabriel pulled something out of Sam and put it inside Mary. He didn’t know what it was or anything. It looked like red lines that burned just below the surface. When it was done. Mary laid unconscious on his front porch and Sammy peacefully rested against Gabriel. He adjusted his ball cap and asked, “What did you do? Is Sam okay?”

Gabriel smiled as he looked at Sam in awe, “He’s better than okay. He’s perfect now. Mary took the damage done to Sammy’s soul. You can’t see it but it shines so much brighter now.” Gabriel waved his hand and Mary along with her car was gone. “Mary is outside a hospital a couple states over.”

Bobby looked away and shook his head. “Well, good riddance then. At least Sammy is okay. Is Sam going to be awake in time for Dean’s baseball game? You know he’ll want us both to be there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is my last chapter until next year.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam age 6/ Dean age 10

Gabriel was probably a helicopter parent. To be fair, the boys didn’t know he followed them. One of the perks of being an archangel was he could make himself invisible so he did. He followed Sam and Dean to school each day. Admittedly, he spent more time with Sam than Dean. If he was near Sam and Sam could feel his grace, the six-year-old did better with his peers. Transferring the damage to Sam’s soul to Mary didn’t fix everything. Sam still questioned reality and he still had nightmares. The hand twisting still happened but now only when someone was being harsh with Sam.

Mary did not survive for long after taking on Sam’s damage. Ironically, she died on January 24th as Dean blew out the birthday candles on his cake. Dean wished to one day know his biological parents as he blew out the candles. Gabriel felt some guilt with Mary’s death, which was bizarre for him. However, he suspected his guilt was rooted in the reality that Dean’s birthday wish would never be granted. He hoped Dean could forgive him. Mary was dead because of what he did to her, but he did it to save Sam and he gave Mary the choice. Gabriel knew that Dean would have gladly taken on Sam’s damage if it meant Sam would live. He just didn’t have the words to tell Dean so he said nothing. Neither of the boys knew of Mary’s passing.

The improvements in Sam’s condition allowed him to go to school for the full day like other children his age. Gabriel was glad he was able to give Sam that normalcy. Sam was a studious student and sometimes, Gabriel could see faults in the curse inflicted upon the boys. Intellectually, Sam was advanced for his age. He never had to be taught to read. He just knew how to read. The same went for math, telling time, and science. However, Sam didn’t know social studies or how to tie his shoes. It was an odd mix. Luckily, the school accommodated it. Actually, the school didn’t want to accommodate it but Gabriel took some liberties as an angel. 

Sam had advanced placement courses for math, reading, vocabulary, and science. While he was technically a first grader, he was in with the fifth graders for those classes. This resulted in Sam having one recess with the fifth grade instead of the first grade. During recess, Sam would pace along the back fence of the playground. Sometimes, he would twist his hands and mutter to himself. Usually, the muttering was about what he learned in school. The thing was the muttering was in Enochian and everyone thought he was speaking gibberish. When the school asked about it, Gabriel told them it was a Scandinavian language that he often spoke at home. Dean managed to pick up on enough Enochian over the years for that to be believable. Luckily, no one ever asked which Scandinavian language.

Today was one of those days where Sam was pacing against the fence. What made to today different was Sam was approached by two little assholes, fifth-grade boys. James and Ted were best friends and bullies. To be fair, they both lived in abusive homes where they got the shit beat out of them every night. As far as Gabriel could tell, they took out their lack of control at home on random children at the elementary school. This led to many suspensions, detentions, and parental phone calls which in turn led to them getting a harder beating from their drunk dad and mom. It was something of a vicious cycle.

However, it appeared that Sam was their target today. Sam tilted his head at them as they approached. The boys wasted no time in pinning Sam against the fence. Sam struggled and said, “Let me go.”

Sam preferred his hair a little long for a boy which Gabriel allowed. It was Sam’s hair and Sam could cut it how he pleased. His hair rested right below his chin. James grabbed hold of Sam by his hair and sneered at Sam, “What a pretty little girl. Ted, what do you say we make Samantha look a little more like a boy?”

Gabriel knew where his was going. He used his grace to catch the teacher’s attention and she started to run toward them. In the meantime, Ted happily replied as he pulled out a pair of scissors, “I think we can.” Ted stepped forward and it took everything in Gabriel’s power to remain invisible. He wanted to protect Sam, so he did what he could. He jammed the hinge on the scissors so they couldn’t open. Ted hit the scissors against his hand and said, “Shit, they are jammed.” Ted dropped the scissors on the ground and picked up a handful of rocks. He cracked his neck and said gleefully, “Let’s put rocks in his eyes instead.”

James laughed and Ted approached as the urge to smite the boys grew. Without realizing it, Gabriel conjured up a fast-approaching thunderstorm. The first lightning bolt landed a mile from the school. As the sound of thunder roared through the playground, no one heard Sam’s scream as rocks were forced into his left eye. The teacher coming to Sam’s rescue couldn’t run the distance of the playground and she was too late.

What Gabriel failed to account for was Dean. Dean heard Sam’s scream over the thunder when no one else did and Dean ran the length of the playground passing his teacher in record time. Dean pulled Ted off of Sam’s eye. He knocked the kid to the ground then kicked him hard in the head to knock him out. James let go of Sam in favor of protecting his friend. James tried to come up behind Dean, but Dean elbowed James square in the nose. Dean swung his feet around to knock James off his feet then proceeded to kick James in the abdomen as he said in a manner that reminded Gabriel of his father on a wrathful day, “Don’t you ever come near my brother again.” It appeared that the curse did not take away Dean’s ability to fight.

The teacher pulled Dean off of James which Dean allowed. Then the teacher wrapped her arms around a crying, Sam. There were still rocks in Sam’s eye and it broke Gabriel’s heart. He transported himself and his car around the corner. This way he could drive by casually, only to see his injured son.

++

Dean thought he was dead when he saw his dad’s car around the corner. He hung his head as his dad got out of the car and rushed over to Sam. Dad sounded distraught. “Sammy, it’s okay. Daddy’s here.” Sam reached out and touched Dad as he took off his tie and tied it around Sam’s good eye. His dad said gently, “I know you’re scared, kiddo, but we want to keep your hurt eye from moving.” Gabriel picked Sammy up and cradled him against his chest. This was the point at which his demeanor changed. Lucky for Dean, it was focused on Ms. Williams and not him. “What happened?”

Dean looked between his dad and Ms. Williams for a few moments. Then the teacher blurted out, “I’m sorry, Mr. Singer. James and Ted assaulted Sam before I could get here to stop them. Dean intervened with the assault and stopped them.”

Dean looked at Ted’s unmoving body then to his dad. He said sheepishly, “I’m sorry for fighting.”

Dean breathed a sigh of relief when his dad hugged him and said, “I’m proud of you, Dean. They could have blinded your brother.” Then his dad said to Ms. Williams. “I am taking Sammy to the emergency room. I will be filing a police report and press assault charges against James and Ted.” Dean didn’t know what any of that meant. He wondered if that meant James and Ted wouldn’t get to go home to their mom and dad. Dean felt a light pull on his shoulder, “Come on, Dean.”

He followed his dad to the car and opened the door so his dad could put Sammy in his car seat. Sam screamed when Dad let go of him, but Dean grabbed hold of Sammy’s hand and said, “I got you, Sammy. I got you.”

++

Bobby sat in the corner of the hospital room while Sam got his eye flushed. It made him queasy, but his main job was to keep Dean calm. This was easier said than done. Bobby wanted to kill James and Ted. He knew Gabriel had a plan. He just didn’t know what it was yet.

Sam’s screaming abruptly stopped as did the movement of everything else in the room except Gabriel. The archangel sighed, “How do I deal with this? I watched the whole thing and I didn’t stop them. One of the rocks punctured Sam’s retina. He’s blind out of that eye. My grace can heal it either instantly or with time. But should I?”

Bobby understood what Gabriel meant. For any other child, Sam would be blind out of his left eye for the rest of his life. However, Sam’s father was an angel and could heal him. The question was simple. Should Gabriel heal Sam and if so, how quickly should that healing take place? Bobby wanted Sam to see again. It pained him to think that the last thing Sam ever saw out his eye was a hand with rocks. He knew he couldn’t ask for Sam to remain blind. Bobby said slowly, “You should heal him. I don’t want Sam to suffer.”

Gabriel unfroze time and held on Sam’s hand. The small pebbles fell from Sam’s eye as he whimpered. Bobby had to turn his head away but as he did Sam said, “Daddy, you’re blurry.” A smile formed on Bobby’s face. Sammy would be okay.

Bobby patted Dean on the back and said firmly, “You did good, Dean.”

Dean rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, “No, I didn’t protect Sammy.”

++

Sammy started to like the hospital after his eye got cleaned out. They doctor said he had some minor scratches but it should feel better soon. They taped an awesome patch over his eye after they glued it shut. It made Sam feel like a pirate so to every nurse that entered his room he said, “Rrrr.” Sam knew he wasn’t a very scary pirate based on the way the nurses chuckled at him.

He was back home now and it was bedtime. Sam sometimes slept alone but not often. He picked up Riot and tiptoed down the hall to his dad’s room. There he saw the strangest thing. His dad was talking to Rufus. He listened from behind the door.

 _“What did you expect me to do, Castiel?”_ Castiel… Sam remembered something about that name. He had heard it before but he didn’t have any friends with that name.

A rather annoyed meow was heard in reply. Sam smiled because he thought he was the only one to talk to Rufus.

_“I can’t just smite the little shits that did this. Well, I could but that’s not the point.”_

The cat cut Daddy off with a meow.

 _“Oh, I didn’t think of that. That’s perfect, Cassie.”_  

Sam listened to his daddy laugh for a bit but he was tired. Slowly, Sam stepped away from the doorway tiptoed to Dean’s room. He pushed the door open carefully, only to see Dean hide his cell phone under his pillow. He knew his dad wouldn’t be happy about Dean playing on his phone after bedtime. Dean got his phone taken away last week for that. Sam felt nervous and he shifted on his feet.

Dean sat up on his bed a little and asked, “What’s up, Sammy?”

Sam looked up at his brother with his right eye. He shrugged and muttered, “I… Can I sleep in here? I’m scared.”

Dean sighed and pulled his covers back. Sam approached as Dean scolded, “Fine, but you better not fart on me. What are you scared of? Dad’s here.” Sam knew the scolding was an act. Dean didn’t really mind.

He slipped into bed next to Dean and Dean pulled up the covers around them. Sam felt Dean run a hand through his hair and rub his scalp. It felt good, especially since it was sore from being pulled. Slowly, Sam felt his eye start to close so he whispered, “What if he took my eyes? Would I die?”

Dean sighed and pulled Sam into a hug. His voice was firm, “Sam, there is no way I would let that dick take your eyes, but even if he did you wouldn’t die. It would be like closing your eyes and never opening them again.”

Sam frowned a little and countered, “That’s what happens when people die.”

Dean groaned, “Yeah, but your heart will still beat. You can still feel, hear, smell, and taste. Even if you couldn’t see you’d still have a good life. I promise.”

Sam shifted around in Dean’s hold. It wasn’t okay just to be alive. Sam cried, “But I wouldn’t be able to read.” Dean held him and rocked him in his arms as he cried. Sam felt safe here, not as safe as he did with Daddy but safe.

Sammy cried himself to sleep in his brother’s arms. Neither boy saw Gabriel and Castiel watching over them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, when I was in kindergarten a bully really put rocks in my left eye. All I remember from it was the hand with the rocks coming toward my eye then darkness. I got a patch over my eye and it was glued shut. I found it very important at the time for my baby doll to have a patch over his eye too... Five-year-old priorities. 
> 
> I don't remember what happened to the kid that did it. So I have no fun story there. However, I do know my parents didn't sue the school or the kid's family like what would probably happen today.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sammy 6/ Dean 10

“Rrrr”

Dean sighed as he looked up at Sam in the tree in their backyard. Rufus perched on a branch nearby Sammy. Undoubtedly, Sammy took Rufus up the tree with him. All he had to do was tell Sammy supper was ready, but he came outside to this. Sometimes, Dean still questioned why his dad thought he’d make a good big brother. This whole situation was truly above his paygrade. Dean shouted at Sam, “Dad said dinner is ready.”

“Rrrrr.” Sammy really did seem to be into this pirate thing. Dean hoped that would go away when Sam got the patch off his eye. Two more days, Dean told himself. Two more days and Sammy would be back to normal.

Dean tried again, “It’s your favorite. Dad made chickpea nuggets to go with the Caesar salad.” Chickpea nuggets, despite what his classmates believed, were pretty awesome. They looked pretty much like a chicken nugget. Dean had no idea if they tasted like a chicken nugget, but he didn’t feel like he missed out on anything.

“Rrrr,” was Sammy’s reply. Again, Dean reminded himself that he only had two more days of this… He hoped.

Dean shook his head and started to walk away. “Fine, I am going to eat your salad.” Sammy never liked being alone and he hoped this would inspire Sammy to come down.

It worked to get Sammy’s attention. Sammy shifted in the tree and shouted, “You better not!”  Sammy put Rufus in his backpack on his back then he climbed down the tree. Once Sammy and the cat were on the ground, Rufus jumped out and sprinted toward the back door. Sometimes, Dean could swear that cat was human.

Dean patted Sammy on the back once Sammy caught up with him. He teased, “I am still going to eat all your salad.”

Sammy grinned at him and nudged him as he said, “Rrrr.” He laughed as Sammy faked a limp to the back door. Lately, Sammy liked to pretend that he had a wooden leg like a pirate.

After they got inside, Dean and Sammy sat down at their seats. Rufus sat at the other end of the table with his cat food. Technically, Rufus was the only living creature in the house that ate meat. His dad didn’t buy commercial cat food and Dean had no idea how his dad made the cat food. However, Rufus seemed to love it. His friends’ cats always seemed to be picky, but not Rufus. Dean thought it was because Rufus was awesome. Rufus usually ate dinner and breakfast with them at the table unless he was in a mood.

Halfway through the meal, Dad broke the comfortable silence. “Sammy, I wanted to get your opinion on something important and Dean, I’ll want your input as well.” Dean lost some of his appetite but he continued to pick at his food. His dad continued, “Sammy, I know school has been difficult for you but you’ve also excelled in school. You’re smart and you’re talking with your classmates. That is all wonderful. However, I wanted to know if you would feel better being home schooled? You’d stay home with Rufus and I. You’d have a desk and you would do all the same work you do at school. The difference is there wouldn’t be other children and I would be your teacher.”

Dean let a slow breath. If Sammy stayed home that would make his life so much easier. Bullies always targeted Sammy and sometimes, Sammy made him look stupid. It was embarrassing for Sammy to know the answer to something when he didn’t. Dean piped up, “I think that is a great idea.”

His dad gave him a stern look and said, “Dean, thank you for your input. However, I would like Sammy’s opinion.”

Dean sighed and watched Sammy take a bite of his nugget. Sammy was completely oblivious to the urgent need for an answer. Well, it probably wasn’t urgent to either Rufus or Dad, but it was pretty urgent to Dean. Finally, Sammy finished chewing and said, “Rrrr.”

Dean resisted the urge to bang his head on the dining room table, but he failed to stop his groan.

++

After careful consideration, Gabriel decided to pull Sammy out of public school. It wasn’t an easy choice for him to make. He knew how much other fledglings needed to be around each other to help them grow. It was the same for humans and the last thing Gabriel wanted to do was hold Sammy back. However, it was clear to Gabriel that Sammy’s childhood would be different but it would be good.

Ever since Sam injured his eye, the boy slept in Gabriel’s bed. Sam was afraid and Gabriel could understand that. The one day when Gabriel tried to take Sam to school after the incident, Sam had a complete meltdown. It wasn’t that Sam was being a brat. The child was afraid and Gabriel couldn’t fault Sam for that. He did use his power as an archangel to see what Sam was afraid of exactly. Perhaps that was cheating on the whole parenting thing, but it aided in Gabriel’s decision to pull Sam from public school.

This left Gabriel with a problem, though. He had to make sure Sam had social interaction with other children his age. This meant he had to find something that interested Sam and something that Sam could do. Sam’s eye injury ruled out sports for the time being. He didn’t like the idea of scouting because the troops in their area prided themselves on hunting which conflicted with the moral stance he held. This left Gabriel with a problem. He could manifest children Sam’s age which wouldn’t quite be the same.

Gabriel gathered up his little pirate and went to Bobby’s house. While Gabriel watched Sam’s life from a distance, he admittedly didn’t know Sam was well as Bobby. Hopefully, the grumpy human would have some advice for him. As soon as they arrived at Bobby’s house, Gabriel unbuckled Sammy from his car seat and the six-year-old was off with a foam sword secured in his hand.

He grinned as Sammy bounded up Bobby’s front porch and into the house growling, “Rrr,” as he entered. Gabriel couldn’t help but shake his head. His son was cute.

Gabriel entered the house a few moments later and Bobby was held captive by the little pirate. He used his grace to create a surprise for both Bobby and Sammy. He sauntered into the room where Bobby sat in a chair. The grumpy man held his hands up at the sword-wielding pirate and mock pleaded, “Capitan Sammy, you have to believe me. I have no more hugs the Tickle Monster took all of my hugs.” Bobby waved his arms dramatically and added, “They even took my arms. Have you seen my arms?”

Sammy climbed up on Bobby’s lap and pressed his nose against Bobby’s. The boy held on to Bobby with one arm and held up his sword with the other and said, “Rrrr.”

Gabriel smiled and conspired, “Capitan Sammy, I think you should make Uncle Bobby walk the plank for the crime of letting the Tickle Monster in.”

Sam turned back and looked at him with his one eye narrowed. Then slowly Sam nodded and replied, “Rrr.” Sammy slipped on Bobby’s lap and tugged on Bobby’s hand so he would stand.

Bobby gave a fake plea of, “Capitan Sammy, please don’t make me walk the plank.”

Gabriel grinned, “The plank is out the backdoor, Capitan.”

Sam and Bobby walked out to the back porch. Gabriel had used his grace to put a plank on the back porch and with a three-foot deep pool off the edge. He caught the glare Bobby gave him but Gabriel winked at the grumpy human. Sammy corralled Bobby over to the plank. Then he poked Bobby with his foam sword to force Bobby to walk the length of the plank.

Bobby acted as though he lost his balance at the end and fell into the water fully clothed. Gabriel may have used his grace to give Bobby a little bit of an extra nudge to go into the water. Bobby sprung back up out of the water and spit some water out of his mouth.

Gabriel smiled at Bobby and said joyfully, “Captain Sammy, you save Bobby. Look he found his arms!”

Sammy danced around the porch in an awkward version of a victory dance and yelled, “Rrrr.” Gabriel let Sam dance for a few minutes as Bobby pulled himself out of the water. He was kind enough to manifest some towels for Bobby while Sammy was not looking. Once the victory was celebrated Gabriel picked Sammy up and started tickling Sammy’s belly. Sammy squealed and thrashed in his hold, but he also laughed. It was a beautiful thing to hear. The tickling only lasted a minute before Sammy said between fits of laughter, “Dad stop.”

Gabriel stopped and put Sammy down. He smiled at his son. “What do you say we get you changed into some swim clothes and you can try out the pool? I’ll have to put a different patch over your eye, but it won’t hurt.”

Sammy nodded and trotted in the house after picking up his sword murmuring, “Rrr,” along the way.  


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean age 11/ Sam age 7

Sixth grade was pretty awesome, in Dean’s opinion at least. He started to notice girls. He had electives so he could actually pick some of the classes he wanted. He even joined the wrestling team. Life was pretty good. Except Dean had some trouble fitting in. It wasn’t one thing in particular. He got teased for being adopted, for Sam being a little odd, and for not eating meat. The endless questions about why any of those things happened were annoying in Dean’s opinion. The fact that Sam got adopted first was always a sore point for him. He never told anyone at school that Sam had a home first. He didn’t want them to tell him how much better Sam was.

After their dad started homeschooling Sam, Sam was now ahead of Dean in school. This was also something Dean never said to his friends. Dean tried over the summer to study hard and push himself ahead of a grade or something. It didn’t work and half the time Sam ended up helping him with his homework. All his work over the summer didn’t even make sixth grade easier. He was placed in honor classes instead of regular classes so he was labeled as a nerd.

His only saving grace was wrestling. Dean could beat anyone in his grade and nearly everyone in seventh. He couldn’t beat Brody, but Brody was the size of a gorilla. During wrestling matches, his classmates would cheer him on and encourage him. After the matches, though, even with a victory, Dean wasn’t one of the guys. He was someone on the outside. Uncle Bobby said that the other kids were jealous of his talent, but Dean didn’t feel that way. He just left like he was different and he didn’t like that.

Different was how Dean felt when he walked out of the gym after their forty-five-minute wrestling practice. Dean watched as all of his friends filtered into their family’s car and drove away. His dad’s car wasn’t there or if it was he couldn’t see it. Dean felt an ache in his stomach that was somehow familiar even though this never happened before. He shook his head and started to head back in the building. He grabbed hold of the door when he heard Dad’s voice, “Deano, we’re over here.”

Dean sighed in relief but the tightness in his chest didn’t go away. He walked over to his dad and noted that Sammy was holding onto their dad’s hand. It looked like Sammy had juice stains on his face. Dean smirked, “Sammy, what happened to your face?”

Sam smiled wide despite the missing front tooth. He sounded proud and Dean almost hated Sam for it. “We took Rufus to the doctor today and I got a popsicle from the doctor because I’m good. Rufus didn’t try to bite the doctor this time.” Sam smiled big and rocked back on his heels. It was bull crap that Sam got a popsicle and he didn’t.

Their dad smiled, “Don’t worry, Deano. There is a popsicle in the freezer at home just for you.” Dean looked away. It was so typical for their dad to make sure everything was as equal as possible. It just pissed him off sometimes. He wanted to be special.

++

Sam tiptoed around the house. It was roughly two a.m. and he didn’t want to wake anyone up. He poked his head into Dean’s room to make sure his brother was asleep. Sure enough, Dean was fast asleep and cuddling Rufus. Sometimes, Sam got jealous of how Rufus always slept with Dean. Rufus never ventured into his bedroom at night, but they did play together during the day. He played tea with Rufus today.

He snuck into the kitchen quietly or at least he thought he was being quiet. Carefully, he pulled out a jar of marshmallow, sprinkles, corn chips. Sam sat down at the table with a plate and made nachos with marshmallows and sprinkles. He hummed quietly and kicked out his feet as he ate his snack. This was his favorite food. He had memories or dreams maybe of doing this with Sully in dirty motel rooms. The thing was Sam knew that Dad never stayed in motels when they traveled. They always rented a house or a furnished apartment.    

Sam hummed happily until he realized something important. His dad made the marshmallows from scratch and he ate all of them. Sam felt a knot in his stomach because his dad would know it was him and he’d get in trouble. He let out a slow breath and thought about what to do. Quickly, Sam decided to make another batch.

He pushed his chair up to the kitchen cabinet and started to pull out what ingredients he thought he needed. Sam had seen his dad make marshmallows plenty of times, so it shouldn’t be that hard. Carefully, Sam reached for the top shelf as he felt the chair totter. Then in a moment, the chair rocked and tipped to one side. Sam tried to catch himself only to feel his dad’s hands grab hold of him to keep him from falling.

Two thoughts ran through his mind. One he was caught and the other was a relief because he didn’t get hurt. Sam whimpered in his dad’s hold before bursting into tears. He sobbed, “I’m sorry.”

Dad shushed him and carried him into the living room. Sam snuggled into the safety of his dad’s arms because he knew somewhere deep down inside of him that his dad would never hurt him. His dad would never treat him the way Sir did. After he calmed down a little, he heard his dad ask, “Sammy, why did you get up in the middle of the night?”

Sam shrugged in his dad’s hold and admitted, “I was hungry and then I ate all of the marshmallows you made so I thought I’d make more before you woke up.” He glanced up at his dad and caught him shaking his head.

Calmly Gabriel asked, “Sammy, you’re a growing boy so you’ll get hungry sometimes. However, when you wake up in the middle of the night hungry, I would appreciate it if you let me know. Sweets, when you can't sleep, aren’t the best idea.”

Sam knew his dad was right. He muttered, “I know. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to bother anyone.”

Dad sighed and tickled his belly. Sam laughed as his dad said, “You’re not a bother, ever.” The tickling stopped and his dad’s tone grew serious, “Now, I believe you have to help me make some marshmallows and clean the kitchen. And don’t think you’re not in trouble young man. You lost sweets privileges for a week.”

Sam pouted and shuffled into the kitchen. Really, his punishment wasn’t that bad. It just sucked that he wouldn’t get to try any of the marshmallows him and his dad was going to make.

++

Gabriel carried Sam to bed at about 4 am. The poor kid fell asleep washing dishes. Gabriel figured Sam could finish cleaning the kitchen after he got some rest. There wasn’t any good reason, in Gabriel’s grace, to force Sam to be awake when the dishes could be done in a few hours.

He tucked Sam in his bed then he noticed the bathroom light was on. Gabriel admittedly hadn’t paid attention to Dean overnight. He was focused on Sam and he figured if something did happen with Dean that either Dean or Castiel would pray to him. Neither party prayed to him. He found Dean with his head hanging over the toilet dry heaving with Castiel on his back petting his head with a paw.

Gabriel stepped into the bathroom and picked Castiel off Dean’s back. He sat the cat on the counter and said kindly to Castiel, “Thank you for looking after Dean. You’re a good kitty, Rufus.” Castiel glared at him which warmed Gabriel’s grace. He liked messing with Castiel and he made a very grumpy cat. He had no desire to turn his brother back, at least not yet. Gabriel turned his attention to Dean. He rested a hand on Dean’s back and let his grace find what was wrong. Dean had the flu. He rubbed Dean’s back and asked, “How are you doing, kiddo?”

Dean tried to shrug his hand off so Gabriel moved his hand away. If Dean didn’t want to be touched, he would respect that. Dean grumbled, “I don’t feel good, Dad. I went to tell you earlier but you were playing with Sam. Why are you always so concerned about him but I’m always second?”

Gabriel sighed. He grabbed a washcloth and handed it to Dean so he could wipe off his face. Gabriel tried to keep the annoyance out of his voice, “Dean, your brother decided to get up in the middle of the night and eat a snack consisting of marshmallows, sprinkles, and tortilla chips. Yes, he got in trouble, but Sammy doesn’t process things the way you or I do.”

Dean leaned back and rested his back against the wall. Dean looked pale, even his freckles looked dull. Gabriel desperately wanted to use his grace to heal Dean, but according to Castiel that would hurt Dean’s immunity to illness and cause him to get sick more. Sometimes, Gabriel wondered if he was responsible for the Black Death. Around that time, he was fascinated by rats and would often cure rats of their ailments. It was unfortunate that rats became the carriers of fleas which spread the Black Death throughout Europe. He actually had some charming conversations with fleas. The things fleas saw… amazing.

Gabriel decided he could reminisce about the past later. In the present, he had a sick boy to contend with. Gabriel asked, “Do you want to sleep in my room or yours?”

Dean coughed a little and said quietly, “Your room. I’m going to need a bucket.”

Gabriel helped Dean to his room and tucked him in on the other side of the bed from Sam. He sat a bucket on the floor next to Dean and glass of water on the nightstand. He asked kindly, “What do you need, Deano?”

Dean glared at Sammy for a moment and asked, “Why is he here?”

Gabriel gazed at Sam for a moment. Sam did sleep on his own about twenty-five percent of the time. The truth was he liked having Sam close. Sam wasn’t as independent as Dean, at least not yet. Although, if they grew up to be anything like who they were Sam would become more independent than Dean. Perhaps, he’s afraid of losing his little boy or perhaps it was bigger than that. Perhaps, he was worried about not being needed anymore. Gabriel rested a hand on Dean’s cheek and said calmly, “Resting. He gets nightmares when he wakes up in the middle of the night like he did.”

Dean groaned, “Satan riding shotgun, got it.” Dean closed his eyes and whispered, “I wish you loved me as much as him.”

Gabriel frowned and tried not to let his bruised ego show. He corrected Dean gently, “I love both of you equally. Sammy is special so he requires more attention, but that doesn’t mean I love him more. I worry about both of you. I’m a nervous wreck anytime you wrestle at school. Especially when you wrestle Brody.”

Dean gave a small sigh, “Is Sam ever going to be normal?”

Gabriel didn’t have an answer for that question. Sam Winchester always had his demons both real and metaphorically, but Gabriel didn’t think Sam was broken. The curse shattered Sam’s strength. If and when the curse was broken, Sam could, in theory, regain his mental strength or Sam could remain where he was. Gabriel answered honestly, “I don’t know, Dean. But it’s our job to look after him and love him. Can you do that?”

Dean stared at the Sam for a moment and whispered, “Lookout for Sammy. That’s always been my one job.”

Gabriel adjusted the blankets and said firmly, “You have more jobs than that. Right now, your job is to rest and let Sammy and I take care of you.” Castiel chose this moment to jump up on the bed and wrap his body around Dean’s head. Gabriel amended, “And Rufus will take care you. He believes he will take far better care than your brother and I could even begin to give you.”

Gabriel touched Dean’s arm and let some of his grace flow through Dean so he could rest. Dean’s eyes slipped closed as he whispered, “You’re right, Rufus is the best.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean 12/ Sam 8

Gabriel hummed lightly as he loaded the bags into the trunk of his car. The boys were playing in the front yard. It was a peaceful scene which was a drastic difference to what their life was truly like. At twelve, Dean crept closer to his teen years and Gabriel could see the lady’s man that was Dean Winchester creeping out. It was safe to say that at this point in Dean’s life, Sammy was more of an annoyance than something to protect with his life. Not that he would ever let the boys be in a position where their life was on the line.

He shouted at the boys, “Are you two ready?”

Sam dropped the ball and started running toward the car first. Dean, never one to be outdone by his baby brother, ran after Sam and easily passed him. Dean ruffled Sam’s hair which caused Sam to push Dean away, but Dean merely laughed at Sam’s efforts. Dean grumbled, “Yeah, I am ready.”

Gabriel smiled and watched carefully as they piled into the car. He checked Sam’s seatbelt, then Dean’s seatbelt. Perhaps, he was paranoid, but Bobby told him stories of Sam and Dean taking off their seatbelts when they were children the first time around. He caught Dean without a seatbelt once and that had been enough to cause him to mother hen the situation.

The short car ride to Chuck’s home was peaceful. Sam hummed Japanese classical music while Dean tapped out a classic rock tune on his fingertips. As it was, Dean never took an interest in other types of music like Sam did. Dean loved his classic rock and true to who Dean Winchester was, he listened to his classic rock on cassette tapes. Gabriel thanked his father every day for the grace to make Dean’s favorite music easily available.

Sam jumped out of the car first. It was fast enough to make Gabriel question whether or not Sam unbuckled himself before he parked the car. However, Gabriel heard his father’s voice in his head. _“He waited until you stopped.”_ Gabriel shook his head. Sometimes, he forgot his father was omnipresent. Actually, he liked to forget that fact. Even at this moment, his father could see the 15,000 human births and the 6,316 deaths that will take place over the next hour. Perhaps, it wasn’t that his father didn’t care. His father just focused on new life and giving peace to those who died. Life wasn’t everlasting, nothing was everlasting. Life was one of the shortest moments in a soul’s existence.

Dean grumbled as he got out of the car a little slower, “Why does Sammy get to spend the weekend with Grandpa? That’s not fair.”

Gabriel resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He asked calmly, “Would you rather I left him at home alone with Rufus?” Dean shrugged in reply which worried the archangel. He decided they would chat about that later on their trip. Gabriel glanced up at his father and smiled, “Would you mind watching the boys for a minute while I hit the head?”

Chuck smiled and nodded, “Of course, Gabriel.”

Gabriel stepped inside his father’s house, then he zapped himself back to his home. He smiled at Castiel then he snapped his fingers. Castiel stood before him in the vessel of Jimmy Novak. Gabriel even gave Castiel his grace back, at least for right now. He opened a sucker and stuck in his mouth then he said to his brother, “Claire has been praying for you. She seemed rather distressed. Anyways, it started about 30 minutes ago. Father assured me she isn’t dead, but none-the-less, you should go check on her. Father fixed your wings, by the way, but I expect you back here on Sunday. Sam and Dean will be heartbroken if Rufus ran off.”

Castiel sighed, “Brother, why am I a cat? If Sam and Dean had a real cat, it would be dead. Dean has smothered me my sleep at least twice and Sam nearly dropped me out of the tree in the backyard more times than I can count. The only thing that saved me was your grace.”

Gabriel chuckled, “Focus Castiel. You need to go check on Claire and besides, you’re the best pet of the boys. They love you and they can’t kill you. It’s a win-win.” Gabriel didn’t stay with his brother to debate the matter any further. He snapped his fingers and returned to his father’s home.

++

Chuck never babysat a human child before. In fact, he never really parented the angels or any of his other creations. He tried to teach them right from wrong by punishing them, but it never worked. Eventually, he let his creations find their own way and that was when something amazing happened. His creations grew and transformed into something he never imagined. It was never perfect and for what it’s worth, Lucifer was right. Humans were murderous and imperfect.

He loved Lucifer more than any of his other creations, but he was ashamed because Amara’s darkness corrupted Lucifer or perhaps Amara’s influence made Lucifer see things as they were. Lucifer destroyed far fewer of his creations than Michael or even Castiel, yet Lucifer was the one he locked away in a cage. Lucifer perverted the souls he created and he couldn’t watch that. He couldn’t watch his most perfect creation hurt his lesser creations.

Chuck knew he ran away like a coward when he realized his failure. He struggled with it for many millennia and after Mary Winchester made a deal with Azazel, Chuck had an idea. He recreated Lucifer. He used the same blueprints, minus the influence Amara had on Lucifer. The soul shined brighter than all the others in creation and it was strong. That soul belonged to Sam Winchester and every time Chuck gazed a Sam, he could see what Lucifer was and what Lucifer should still be.

At first, he thought Sam would replace Lucifer in his favor, but that wasn’t the case. No matter how much Sam’s soul and Sam’s vessel copied Lucifer, Sam was still different. Worst of all, it was through Sam that Chuck was able to see the flaws in Lucifer.

Chuck watched Sam play with his army men on the living room floor. Then Sam stopped playing. Sam looked at him the eye and asked, “Grandpa, why does God hate me? I try to be a good boy, but I must be bad or something.”

The irony wasn’t lost on Chuck. Sam Winchester just asked God himself a question and didn’t even realize it. Honestly, Chuck would have preferred to answer the question of why his creations have ears than answer this question.  Chuck thought about letting Sam read his autobiography that he wrote with Metatron, but decided against it. He decided for the honest approach, “I don’t hate you, Sam. You’re very special to me.”

Sam huffed out a breath and said sadly, “Yeah, but you’re my grandpa and Grandpas always love their children. I just want to be like other kids. I want to have friends. I don’t want to have nightmares about Satan. I… I don’t want to be a freak.”

Chuck could name roughly 20 million grandfathers that didn’t like their grandchildren, but he didn’t say that. Heck, he could have pointed out how Sam’s own namesake Samuel Campbell sold him and his brother to the King of Hell, but he didn’t. It wasn’t really Sam that Samuel sold to the King of Hell. It was Sam’s vessel. Sam’s soul was still in Hell with Lucifer begging him for help. He denied Sam help for selfish reasons.

Chuck moved a couple army men around then he made a choice. He helped Sam.

++

Castiel arrived at Claire’s apartment. After hunting for a few years, Claire decided to go to school like her parents would have wanted. He noted the disarray of the apartment and Claire’s shouting from the bedroom.

“Get away from me you monster!”

Castiel opened the door to the room with his angel blade drawn and saw Claire standing on the bed throwing objects at a possum that seemed to have found its way into her home. He tilted his head curiously at the possum then to Claire. He said slowly, “The possum is hungry and would like you to stop throwing things at her.”

Claire shrieked, “Just get rid of it!”

Castiel used his grace to transport the possum to a wooded area. He even placed a pound of nuts near the possum so the possum could at least get a feast. After the possum was gone, Castiel said slowly, “Are you okay, Claire? Gabriel said you prayed urgently for me.”

Claire got off the bed in a huff and said sarcastically, “Yeah, I’m fine. Not like you care. Where the Hell have you been anyways?”

Castiel glanced around the room and said flatly, “An archangel turned me into a cat.”

Claire snorted, “I bet you’re one grumpy cat.”

Castiel didn’t think he was a grumpy cat. He was happy to be in the vessel of a human, but a cat wasn’t so bad. He wasn’t sure if he should tell her about Sam and Dean, so he kept quiet. Sam and Dean were getting something that was robbed from her. Claire never got a normal childhood and he only had himself to blame for that.

++

Dean could not describe how great tomorrow would be. They were going the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame with no Sammy to ruin it. Just him, his dad, and great music. Really, Dean couldn’t ask for a better weekend. He fell asleep thinking of the band Kansas at a motel in Cleveland. He had a fourteen-hour drive with his father today.  There was something about being on the open road like that which Dean missed. Although, he could not place a time when he traveled around the country.

When Dean woke up he noticed the light creeping in from behind the curtains. It gave the room a glow. He glanced in the mirror and remembered a ringing in his ears and glass shattering around him from a time he couldn’t quite place. Dean sat up and glanced around desperately. He had no idea where Sammy was. Dean had a sudden flash of memory of singing off key in an old car with Sammy riding shotgun and an angel in the backseat.

Dean rubbed his face because that was a weird dream. He sat up on the bed to get his bearings when he realized he wet the bed. It didn’t seem bad, though, just his pajamas and underwear. The bed barely felt wet. Still, Dean had a sinking feeling that he would have to explain this to his dad. Twelve-year-olds should not piss themselves in the middle of the night. Dean got out of bed quietly but he clearly wasn’t silent enough.

Dad’s voice rang out in the darkness, “I can hear you thinking, Deano. What is wrong?”

To say mortification was how Dean felt would be an understatement. It was beyond that. This was something that would happen to Sammy, not him. Dean hung his head and said quietly, “I wet the bed. I’m sorry, Dad. I didn’t mean to.” Somewhere in the back of Dean’s mind, he feared his father’s rejection. He never wanted to hear from his dad that he wasn’t good enough.

His dad didn’t judge him, at least not outwardly. If anything, his dad’s calm nature and response helped Dean to calm down a little. “It’s okay, Dean. You have nothing to apologize for. I’ve even wet the bed. Go and hop in the shower and I will get your other set of pajamas and undies. We can share a bed the rest of the night.”

Dean stood up and muttered, “I am too old for that.”

Dad chuckled, “Bad news, Dean. These beds are made for two people. When you start going on trips in high school, you could share a bed with one of your classmates.”

Dean groaned but marched into the bathroom. He made short work of the shower and changed into thankfully dry clothing. When he stepped back into the main room, Dean saw a worried expression on his father’s face. Cautiously Dean asked, “What’s wrong?”

His dad glanced up and patted the space next to him. Dean sat down and wondered if he did something wrong. His dad took a deep breath and said slowly, “You didn’t urinate in your sleep. You had what is called a wet dream. It’s part of growing up. Do you remember when you learned about ejaculation during sex education at school?”

Dean nodded then he realized something horrific, “Dad no, I was dreaming about this band Kansas I like. It was about the song Carry on my Wayward Son. I was road tripping with Sammy and an angel.” Dean buried his head in his hands and muttered, “I got off to Kansas in my sleep. Dad, promise me you won’t tell Sammy, Uncle Bobby, Grandpa, or Aunt Amara… Especially Aunt Amara. Girls can’t know such things.”

Dad chuckled and patted his back in comfort. “This stays between us.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean 13/ Sam 9

Somehow when Dean suggested to Sammy that he take in interest in better music, such as classic rock, he did not expect Sammy to like Vince Vincente. His music was horrible… and just no. Vince Vincente and his music were the sorts of stuff that caused Dean to think the singer may want to dance with the devil. Actually, now that he thought about it, the whole devil thing made perfect sense. Perhaps, Vince Vincente was Lucifer in disguise.  

In fairness, ever since his trip to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last year, Sam hadn’t said a word about Satan or had any nightmares. Sam even turned into an awkward social butterfly. No, Sammy was more like a social moth. Sammy swarmed around anything he thought was cool. It was good to see Sammy doing better, though, not that he would ever admit that to anyone’s face. He had an image to uphold.

Anyways, Sammy was on a local soccer team for kids his age. It really wasn’t much to write home about. No one on the team had any chance whatsoever of being a professional soccer player, but they had fun and Dean figured that was what mattered. It was the second game of the season and Dean sat in the stands to cheer his brother on. Sam’s position was a center midfielder. Dean really didn’t understand what Sam’s job was, but Sam seemed to know what he was doing.

Uncle Bobby and Dad were getting snacks which left Dean alone in the stands. Dean had no doubt Dad would buy every type of candy at the concession stand. A blonde-haired girl about Sam’s age sat down next to him. She fidgeted with her white dress for a few moments before she said, “Hey.”

Dean stared at her carefully and said slowly, “Hey yourself.”

The girl smiled and asked, “You’re Sam’s brother?”

Dean nodded and declared, “The one and only.” Something about that statement didn’t sit right with Dean. Sometimes, Dean wondered if his birth parents had other children and if maybe he had other brothers and sisters he didn’t know about. Not that he would trade Sammy, it was just sometimes he wondered if he missed out on anything.

The girl took a deep breath and said quickly, “Your dad always makes treats for the players. My twin brother is on the team. Do you… Do you think Sam would be interested in a girlfriend?”

Dean opened his mouth and closed it a few times. No way was his little brother dating. Not now, not ever. Just no. Dean stammered out a response, “He’s nine. He trips over his own feet. He’s not ready for any lady friends.”

The girl’s brows knitted together and she said calmly, “Sam has the most beautiful footwork of anyone on the team. No way can he trip over his own feet.”

Dean shook his head and sighed. He rubbed his eyes and asked, “Right, what is your name anyways?”

When he turned his head to look at the girl, she was gone.

Dean shrugged and went back to watching the game. A few minutes later a couple candy bars and a bag of popcorn was deposited on his lap. The best part of Sammy’s soccer games was the junk food his dad allowed him to eat. Dean usually ended up with a stomachache but it was so worth it. He chowed down happily on his candy bar and asked with a mouth full of food, “Hey Dad, which one of Sammy’s teammates has a twin sister?”

His dad paused for a moment and said carefully, “Charlie had a twin sister. She died a couple months ago of some heart condition. It was quite sad for everyone involved. Why do you ask?”

Dean shrugged and took another bite, “No Dad, a twin sister that is alive. I just talked to a little blonde girl in a white dress. I don’t know where she went, but she has a crush on Sammy.” Dean chuckled despite himself and went back to eating his candy bar.

++

Bobby used a backhoe to dig out the grave of Chloe Walsh. Her spirit was the ghost that Dean saw. He did find it irritating that despite literally having the phone number for God himself, God’s sister, and even an archangel, he had to dig this girl up and burn her bones. He had no doubt that Amara, Chuck, and even Gabriel could take care of this without lifting a finger.

But no, they leave it to the mortal human. Typical.

After the coffin was visible, Bobby got out of the backhoe with a crowbar, bag of salt, gasoline, and a lighter. He tossed the salt and crowbar in the grave before he shimmied into it. He carefully used the crowbar to pry the top off. This was when the ghost made her appearance. He tried to hurry but the ghost shoved him away from her decomposing body and said, “You can’t.”

Bobby adjusted his ball cap and swung the iron crowbar at her. She faded into dust. He quickly opened the coffin and salted it. Just as he was about to step out of the grave, the ghost of the girl kicked the bucket of gasoline into the grave. Bobby didn’t know if she was unaware that lighting the grave would end her or if she just wanted to harm him. Either way, it wasn’t good.

The little girl picked up the lighter and opened it. She eyed the flame carefully in a way that Bobby could never truly understand. She said in passing, “It will only hurt a little.” Then she tossed the lighter into the grave with Bobby.

Bobby felt the heat of the flame around him. He put his hands up to his face to block the flames. Only he found, it wasn’t getting hotter and he seemed to be in a bar. Slowly, Bobby lowered his arms and looked around. He was in a bar. It looked like it could be the set for a television sitcom or something. He spotted Chuck sitting in one of the booths reading a newspaper. Carefully, Bobby asked, “What happened?”

Chuck put the newspaper down and said, “Although, you thought I didn’t care or wasn’t watching, I was. You’re a hunter, Bobby. You become restless without something to hunt or research to do. I gave you a small hunt, but I had to step in. Sam and Dean wouldn’t react well to losing their favorite uncle.”

Bobby sighed, “Thank you… Chuck.” It always felt weird to Bobby to call God a name as simple as Chuck.

A beer appeared in Bobby’s hand out of nowhere as Chuck started speaking casually, “Chuck means man. I created man so it seemed fitting. It also means to cast something away. I’ve been accused by my children of casting them out and letting them find their own path. That much is true, but it wasn’t until I stepped away from that my children were truly able to grow and become something. I never realized how much my children are like Amara until she was freed. I supposed I chucked her away too. It is good to have her back.”

Bobby had no idea how to deal with God’s family issues. He’d met Amara a handful of times. She never seems psychopathic or anything. She adored Dean more than anything else alive. Sometimes, Bobby was certain she would smite the first girl that broke Dean’s heart.

Chuck took a sip of his drink. “Beer always amazes me. At first, I thought my children were being lazy by letting water sit and ferment like this. But look at this? My children did this.” 

Bobby took a drink of his own beer it was good. He said, “I’ve made my own beer before.”

Chuck smiled and recalled, “And moonshine. I remember you distilling your moonshine with Sammy one time when he was sixteen or so. You didn’t trust Dean not to mess it up or tell John.”

Bobby smiled at God, “They are both good boys. Dean has always been a little more righteous than Sammy.” Sometimes, it was easy to forget that Chuck knew every detail of his life. There were no secrets between Chuck and himself.

Chuck looked away with a fond look on his face, “Dean is like Michael. I made Dean be the same as Michael.” Chuck paused and confessed, “The cage was built because Michael couldn’t kill Lucifer and neither could I. I thought with time perhaps Michael could do what I couldn’t. Michael could have killed Lucifer instead of trying to pull Sam away from the open cage. Sam would have had no defense against Michael’s spear. Even if Sam fell into the cage after being so much as scratched by that spear Lucifer would have slowly died. Michael didn’t want Lucifer to die alone that was why he didn’t do that.”

Bobby took a large gulp of his drink. He sat down across from Chuck. He wiped the mist off his mug. “I could never harm my boys, either. Maybe you’re more human than you think.”

Chuck shrugged, “My children are harmed all the time and I rarely focus on that. There are 4,700 women at this moment praying to me to stop their husband from beating them. There is a man at this moment that forsakes me and killed himself. The ghost you took care of tonight. Her boyfriend cheated on her with another girl in their class while she was in the hospital dying. She never got to say goodbye to him. Girls in white were fairly common around 2000 years ago. Humans only lived for twenty-five or so years before disease killed them. Love came young.”

Bobby looked stared at Chuck in silence. I knew God was omnipresent but the fact that he had to deal with everyone’s life, the good, the bad, and the ugly, made him wonder how God kept his sanity. It also explained why Chuck decided to flood the Earth. Bobby admitted to Chuck, “I always thought you did a good job keeping everything together.”

Chuck looked at him curiously, “You hated me when your wife was killed by that demon.”

Bobby shook his head and said quietly, “Everything happens for a reason. If it wasn’t for that demon, I would have never met Sam and Dean. They gave me something I never viewed myself as worthy of. I was always afraid I would be like my father, but I wasn’t. They are like my sons and I know Karen would be proud of them.”

Chuck smiled slightly, “She is.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean 14/ Sam 10

Being a cat wasn’t so bad once he got used to it. Castiel found that the ‘personal space’ Dean complained about before didn’t matter anymore. People accepted that cats would walk over them, hit them and ignore them as they chose. He also found that he could stare out the window and watch the bugs for hours and no one would harass him for it.  All Castiel really wanted in life was a bee hive outside of Dean’s window, but Gabriel had told him no.

Aside from bees, Dean’s girlfriend agitated him. Lisa didn’t like cats so Dean would try to kick him out of his bedroom when Lisa came over. Castiel was having none of that. He found that if he hooked his paw under the door and made it bang, Gabriel would come investigate. Then Dean would get in trouble for closing the door with his girlfriend over. Castiel was usually pretty smug about getting his way.

He always made a point to strut back into Dean’s room and plop down in between Dean and Lisa. Then he’d stretch out to put more space between the two teenage lovebirds. Today was the second time Lisa was over, so it was only the second time he got to employ his stretching out plan.

Lisa groaned, “Dean, why can’t you have a dog? Cats are stupid.” Castiel did not believe he was stupid. He was an angel of the Lord and the official secret keeper for both Sam and Dean.  

Dean petted him gently then did the unthinkable. Dean picked him up and tossed him off the bed. Needless to say, Castiel was hurt and offended. He made his discontent known by meowing and growling. Dean chided him, “Why don’t you go harass, Sammy?”

That was when it occurred to Castiel that Lisa was trying to take over his territory. Castiel’s feline side wouldn’t have it. He strutted over Dean and turned around then he sprayed right on Dean’s leg. Dean was his, not Lisa’s.

++

Dean nearly screamed like a girl with Rufus peed on him. He kicked the cat away and yelled, “Dad, Rufus peed on me.”

His dad rushed to the room followed by Sam a few moments later. Sammy picked up the black devil spawn cat and snuggled him. To Dean’s horror, Sammy defended Rufus. “Maybe Rufus is sick.”

Rufus meowed in response. If Dean didn’t know better, he would say Rufus was pissed off at him or maybe Rufus just didn’t like Lisa. Dean didn’t know; he just didn’t want the cat to pee on him again. Dean glared at Rufus and said harshly, “I am going to go shower.”

Gabriel sighed, “Deano, don’t take long. I am going to call the vet.”

Dean showered quickly and when he got out Lisa was gone. Rufus sat smugly on his bed grooming himself like he owned the place. Dean pointed at the cat and seethed, “You little fuzz ball, you’re just jealous of Lisa. You aren’t sick.”

Rufus paused his grooming to meow at him then went back to licking himself. The cat was mocking him. Dean was sure of it. He groaned and stormed out of his room. Rufus could have his room for now at least.

++

Sam tied his sneakers carefully. He got red shoe laces because he thought they looked cool. They sparkled in the dark. Dean thought they looked stupid but Sam didn’t care what Dean thought. He wandered over to where Lisa sat with Dean in the backyard. Dean didn’t like it when he came around when Lisa was around. Dean called him annoying or something, but Sam tried to ignore the hurtful words.

He sat down near them. Dean had headphones in and tapped his fingers to a beat that only he could hear. Lisa had a book in her hand and a notebook in another. Dean and Lisa were supposed to be doing homework or something. Sam smiled and asked, “What are you guys working on?”

Dean piped up, “Go away, pipsqueak.”

Sam crossed his arms and declared, “This is my backyard too. I just asked what homework you’re doing. I might be able to help.”

Lisa chuckled, “God go away, why does God have to send all the annoying ones my way?” Lisa gave him a little shove and said firmly, “I doubt you know algebra, so beat it.”

Sam sighed and stood up. He dusted himself off and muttered, “I am doing calculus. I already took the algebra class you and Dean have.” He started to walk back toward the house when he heard the crackle of thunder. Sam nearly jumped out of his skin when lightning touched down at Lisa’s feet. Still, he didn’t turn back when she started screaming. He just shuffled into the house and laid down on his bed.

He didn’t really have friends besides Dean. Well, he was pretty sure Dad, Uncle Bobby, Aunt Amara, and Grandpa liked him well enough but he didn’t really have friends. Sure, when he had soccer the other boys would talk to him but he never got invited to the postgame burgers or anything. Sam sniffled a little as Rufus snuggled up with him. He wrapped an arm around Rufus and whispered, “Sometimes, I wish you were a person so I could talk to you. I think you would want to be my friend.”  

++

Gabriel paced back and forth. His dad nearly hit Lisa with lightening. He knew it was a warning to Lisa, but he doubting Lisa understood the intended message. All he knew was he could not have his dad trying to smite every child that hurt Sam or Dean. He rubbed his hands over his face as he thought about how to approach this. When he removed his hands from his face, Chuck stood in front of him eating a donut.

A powered donut and powdered sugar fell to the floor carelessly. Chuck said through a mouth full of donut, “I wasn’t mad that she was mean to Sam. I was mad that she questioned me… Well, I was mad about the Sam thing, but that wasn’t why I sent the lightning.”

Gabriel shook his head and countered, “People question you all the time. People hate you. People do shit just to piss you off and you do nothing. Why is Lisa worthy of your wrath?”

Chuck shrugged and took another bite of his donut, “I don’t like her. I made her I should know and let me tell you, she is not the right one for Dean.”

Gabriel groaned, “Dad, I know she’s not the right one for Dean. Sam and Dean are soulmates. They will never find a woman or a man that is the perfect match for them. I am just glad they have never been sexually attracted to each other. Before the curse, they met their sexual needs through short-lived relationships and one night stands.”

Chuck wiped the powdered sugar on his shirt and sat down. He tilted his head curiously, “Dean Winchester has a reputation for being a ladies’ man, much like yourself. Is he going to follow in your footsteps or are you going to let him make the same mistakes in his second chance?”

Gabriel opened his mouth and closed it a few times. It was always difficult to argue with his dad because his dad was God. Gabriel knew had to teach Dean how to have a healthy relationship. What he had with Lisa wasn’t healthy not with the way she treated Sam and Castiel. She was even a little controlling of Dean.

He knew he had to talk to Bobby to find the best solution for this.

Chuck piped up, “I can have Amara talk to Dean.”

Gabriel pinched the bridge if his nose. A human boy getting relationship advice from the Darkness. Amara hated most of Chuck’s creations and her idea of a relationship was eating someone’s soul. Half the time, he thought she wanted to smite Dean’s entire school or eat their souls. He really wasn’t sure.


	25. Chapter 25

Today was a great day, in Dean’s opinion at least. His dad and Sammy were off doing something nerdy. Dean wasn’t really sure. All he knew was Sammy would graduate high school in about a year and attend the local community college after that. The kid was a socially awkward nerd that sometimes talked to his imaginary friend Lucifer.

Some days, Dean worried about Sammy. He wondered about what would happen when their dad died. He wondered who would look after Sammy then. It wasn’t lost on Dean that Sammy was far from normal. No child has vivid nightmares of being tortured by the devil. That doesn’t even go into the full-on hallucinations. Granted, it has been better for the last couple years, but Dean knew the other shoe would drop eventually. Dean already saw it. Sammy couldn’t sleep in his own bed. Usually, Sammy slept with Dad, but sometimes he would crawl into bed with him.

Dean worried about Sammy. One of Dean’s favorite dreams was shooting the devil in the head. It was sort of a weird dream because the devil wasn’t a red guy with horns. No, in his dream, the devil was a blonde haired blue-eyed man in his forties. He had a wedding ring on his finger and he was digging up one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Dean always woke up when the bullet entered Lucifer’s head and a smile spread across the man’s face.

Dean patted Rufus gently and said, “Okay kitty, we have to make use of our time without Dad and Sammy. I have potassium nitrate, sulfur, and charcoal. I stole some of the stuff from the chemistry lab a school, but don’t tell Dad that.” Dean wanted to make some gunpowder to see if he could blow something up. He couldn’t fix Sammy or kill the devil, but he could blow stuff up.

Rufus meowed at him in protest so Dean just ruffled the kitty’s fur. Then he dumped his ingredients in the blender and turned it on. He then slowly added water until he had a thick clay. Somehow, this was all second nature to him. The thing was Dean never remembered making gunpowder before. Once Dean was satisfied with his gunpowder, he dumped everything into a small paper bag. He then squeezed all of the air out of the bag and wrapped a piece a twine that had been soaked in alcohol around it. He then painted his masterpiece with tar that he stole from some roofers and let it dry for about thirty minutes.

By this point, Rufus wouldn’t stop squalling. It was getting on his nerves so Dean picked up the cat and dropped the cat off in Sammy’s room and closed the door. Then he went back to his masterpiece. He picked up a lighter along with his masterpiece and walked outside. Dean walked about twenty feet away from the house. Then he lit the fuse and threw his masterpiece. It flew through the air before finally hitting the ground about ten feet away.

Dean watched in delight as the fuse got shorter and shorter then grinned wildly as the explosion occurred. A loud bang was heard followed by fire. It was glorious and Dean loved every minute of it. Until he realized he caught the lawn on fire. Dean quickly ran to get the hose to try to put out the flame but it was windy and the hose couldn’t stop the flame from growing.

He tried to stop the flame from touching the house, but he failed. As the first boards lit up on the house, Dean saw sigils light up. The next thing he knew the fire was gone and he was staring face to face with his very angry father in a burnt backyard.

Slowly Gabriel said, “Dean, do you care to explain yourself?”

Dean said meekly, “I made some gunpowder and it got out of control. Sorry, Dad. What happened to the fire?” He had no idea how his dad put the fire out so fast.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow and said flatly, “I’m an angel. I put it out. You’re welcome. You could have killed Rufus.”

Dean chuckled because it made sense that the fire would burn itself out. There was no way his dad was an angel. He was too much of a dick to be an angel.

Gabriel groaned, “Give me your phone, Dean. It’s summer you don’t need it.”

Dean grumbled but turned over his phone.

Gabriel pocketed it and said, “I suggest you get the grass seed from the garage and plant some grass. You’ll get your phone back once we have grass in our backyard again.”

Dean grumbled as he shuffled off to the garage. His dad sucked sometimes. The grass was stupid anyways. The only thing he ever did with grass was cut it every couple weeks.

++

Sam stared intently at the book he checked out from the library as Rufus sat on his lap. This book was important because it told him how to make friends. Sam had never really had a friend. Everyone thought he was a freak. Sam knew what Uncle Bobby always said, _“You’re not a freak, son. You’ve been dealt some difficult cards that others haven’t, but you’re overcoming that. You’re strong. I’m proud of you.”_

Sam always figured that whatever difficult cards he was dealt happened before he was adopted. Between the nightmares and questioning reality, Sam figured that his biological parents must have been abusive assholes. Dean taught him the word asshole a few weeks ago and Sam liked to find places where it might apply. Sometimes, Sam wondered how his biological parents abused him. For Sam, it wasn’t a question if but how. He just wanted to know. He wanted to know what they did to him. He wanted to know if he was molested. He wanted to know why he got taken away from them and put up for adoption. Sam knew his dad would never tell him or give him the answer of ‘when you’re older.’

At eleven, Sam felt pretty grown up. He marched into the living room. An episode of Dr. Sexy was on television that was promptly turned off when he entered. Sam huffed out a breath and said, “I want to know about my parents.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow, “Well, my name is Gabriel Singer and I am your father. You don’t have a mother. What else do you want to know?”

Sam stomped his foot as tears filled his eyes. His voice cracked when he said, “No, not you. You’re my real parent. I want to know about my biological parents. I want to know what they did to hurt me. I want to know if they bad touched me. I want to know why I am so messed up.”

Gabriel grabbed hold of Sam’s hand and sat the boy down next to him. He wrapped an arm around Sammy. He kept his voice gentle, “It’s okay, Sammy. It’s okay to be curious. You’re my son and I love you. I don’t like seeing you hurt like this.” Gabriel paused while he debated about how much to disclose. He figured the truth would be okay. “Your biological father was a drunk. He hit you sometimes. He left you alone in motel rooms for days on end. Your mother wasn’t in the picture much. The struggles you have come from the isolation you experienced along with the physical and mental abuse. You suffered far more than Dean. However, Dean was hurt too.”

Sam sniffled and asked, “Do you think they will ever try to take me from you?”

Gabriel kissed the top of Sam’s head and gave Sam some of his grace to calm him. “No Sammy. Your biological parents aren’t alive anymore.”

Sam looked up and asked with wide eyes, “Are they in Hell?”

Gabriel answered honestly, “No.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking forever to post this. After capstone, I had severe writer's block with this story. It's fluffier than most things I write so that might be why. I got an A in capstone and I graduated with honors, in case anyone cares. :)
> 
> Anyways and more importantly, I hope everyone enjoyed the story. I will try to kick writer's block in the butt and get you the next update soon.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam 15/Dean 19

Sam shuffled into his room quietly. College was underrated in Sam’s opinion. It’s not that he didn’t like it, he just found it a little boring. At 15, he finally started to feel like he fit in a little better. He hit a growth spurt, so even though he was skinny and lanky, he was tall. He could pass as 18 if he tried… really hard. He never made friends with his classmates and group projects made him want to eat one of his dad’s candy bars.

Dean even went to the same college as him, but Sam was fairly certain Dean would flunk out. It wasn’t that he thought Dean was stupid or anything, Dean just didn’t care. Dean seemed more interested in working on cars than studying. Dad tried his best to get through to Dean, but Sam knew his brother, Dean wouldn’t listen. Sam’s stomach twisted with the thought of Dean moving out one day. At 19, Dean could move out and likely would one day. The very idea of not having his brother nearby scared Sam. Dean defended him and protected him all of his life. He didn’t want to lose Dean.

Even with Dean, Dad, Uncle Bobby, and Rufus the cat, Sam still felt lonely. It was an isolation that crept into his very bones that often left wanting comfort. Luckily, Dad and Rufus were always there to hold him if he needed it. The great thing about his dad was he never told him to man up and not seek comfort. Sam still found himself pulling away from the people that loved him. He found himself seeking out the very isolation that he despised so much. It was a self-inflicted torture to make amends for the past he didn’t remember.

Sometimes, late at night when he couldn’t sleep, he would ask God about his biological parents. He wanted to know if they were truly bad. He wanted to know so many things about them. He wanted to know what they looked like. He wanted to know if he looked like his biological mother or father. Sometimes, people would say Dean looked like their dad, Gabriel, but no one ever said Sam looked like anyone. He didn’t even look like Dean and sometimes, he felt like a stranger in his own family. God never answered his questions, but God always answered his prayers. God always kept everyone that loved him safe. He thanked God for that every day of his life.

As time went on, Sam found himself interested more and more in reading. It was an escape to a different world. Sometimes, he would insert himself into the story. He would form a connection with the fictional characters and perhaps more importantly, he would feel a little less alone in the world. At least for a moment. Sam struggled to find a decent book and he wanted to read a series of books. It was by pure chance, he found a book labeled _Supernatural_ on the fifty cent rack at the used book store. He picked it up because the title was _Mystery Spot._

Sam chuckled at the two men on the cover and wondered briefly if it was some sort of erotica. He flipped to a random page where he read about Dr. Sexy wearing cowboy boots. It perked Sam’s interest. He paid for the book and set about reading it, once he was home. He had to make it look like he didn’t buy a chick flick so he shuffled into his room.

As Sam started reading, his stomach turned. The main characters, the stud muffins on the cover, were Sam and Dean. They had an angel friend named Castiel and they were stuck in T.V. land. It felt familiar to Sam. The details of each passage of the book were filled in with flashes of something that Sam couldn’t explain, it just made the book even more vivid. It was three am when Sam finally reached the end. It was the archangel, Gabriel, who trapped Sam and Dean in T.V. land. Gabriel’s words stuck to Sam, _“Sam starring as Lucifer.”_ Sam saw his father’s face when the character in the book said those words. It made Sam’s stomach lurch. It wondered if his dad ever thought he was Lucifer because of all of his nightmares.

Sam closed the book and he felt cold down to the very core. He got out of bed and went to find his father. His dad was still awake, Sam swore the man never slept. He crept into the room and muttered, “I couldn’t sleep. Can I lay down with you?”

Gabriel smiled and patted the empty side of the bed. Sam slid in next to his dad and covered himself up. He rested his head on Gabriel’s shoulder. His eyes flickered closed as Gabriel ran his fingers through his hair. The stress of the day and the words of the book eased out of his mind and Sam felt himself calming. Gabriel’s words startled Sam, “Maybe you should leave the adult novels for when you’re a little bit older, huh?”

Sam sputtered a little but didn’t move away from the comfort his dad offered. He didn’t feel quite so isolated in this moment. Sam defended himself, “I… I was fine until the end. The main characters have the same name as Dean and I. I guess I really got into the book because it seemed so vivid. My mind made details that weren’t in the books. The angel that trapped them in T.V. land had the same name as you and my mind made him look like you. I pictured you saying terrible things to me. I pictured you telling me to let Lucifer possess me and hurting me. It felt so real even though it is fiction. It just shook me up a little. I know you would never hurt me and I know you would never tell me to let Lucifer possess me. I love you, Dad.”

Gabriel’s voice was small, “I love you too, Sammy.”

++

Dean found Sammy’s chick flick in his room. Two beefcakes on the front were his first clue. He wanted blackmail material for Sammy for later. It was in the big brother code to go through the little brother’s stuff and find blackmail material. So, he read the book, it had nothing to do with wanting to read about the adventures of Sam and Dean. Nope, not at all. He thought this whole supernatural thing was laughable and he knew Sam was freaked out by it. The overgrown freak pictured them as Sam and Dean. Dean chuckled at the thought of him and Sam hunting monsters.

However, Dean knew Uncle Bobby had a huge collection of books on monsters. The only reason Dean could come up with on why was because crazy ran in the family. Sam definitely got his hallucinations and general weirdness from Bobby. Dean had no doubt that even though they were adopted some of Bobby’s DNA must have rubbed off on Sam somehow.

Dean decided to use his uncle's hoarding and crazy book collection to his advantage. He started shifting through Bobby’s stuff one afternoon when he wasn’t home and he was supposed to be in class. Dean found a box of photographs. He opened up the box and sifted through it. His heart stopped when he looked at the photographs. They were of him and Sam. Dean recognized them growing up, only these photos were more than thirty years old. It didn’t make sense. Dean tried to justify it to himself and told himself that it was just a confidence and perhaps, Bobby knew someone that looked like him. The boys didn’t look exactly like them. The boys in the photos looked a little malnourished and like they lived on crappy diner food.

Then he found a dusty journal. _Dad’s journal_ , his mind supplied. Only this wasn’t his dad’s journal, this journal belonged to John Winchester. After the first few pages, Dean decided that John Winchester was seven kinds of crazy. He noticed the handwriting change when it got to angels. It talked about trapping angels in holy fire just like in the book Sammy bought. Dean also found out that John wrote a lot about his sons Sam and Dean.

Dean swallowed hard as he felt doubt building inside of him. He knew there was only one way to find out for sure. He rummaged through Bobby’s stuff until he found a bottle of holy oil. He hoped it wasn’t mislabeled vegetable oil. Dean snuck out of Bobby’s home and set a trap for his dad in the backyard of his home. He waited until nightfall before he yelled, “Dad, can you come out here?”

Gabriel came out and stood in the middle of the yard. As soon as he stopped walking, Dean dropped a lighter and surrounded his father in flames. Dean could see his dad was furious. He looked like he could smite someone at this moment. Before he could ask his dad to step through the fire, a downpour of rain came out of nowhere and put out the fire.  

Dean was still curious though. He could have sworn he saw his father’s eyes glow white for a moment.

++

Sam finished up his nightly prayers just as a downpour started outside. He felt a warmth inside him that told him God heard his prayers.


	27. Chapter 27

“Dean, after observing you for the past year and speaking with my father, we have decided that it is best, to be honest with you?” Gabriel spoke carefully and calmly to Dean. The day after Dean tried to trap him in the Holy fire, Dean moved out and warded a small crappy apartment against angels. Dean then devoted all of his free time to reading the Supernatural books and reading lore. Dean had gone through mountains of material and shut Sam out of his life. Eventually, Chuck became concerned about Dean’s well-being.

Dean scoffed and shouted, “I don’t know who you are, but stay away from me.” Gabriel knew Dean was aggravated. It would make sense since Chuck zapped Dean to his living room and put Sam into a deep sleep so he wouldn’t hear any of this.

Gabriel sighed, “Dean, I am the archangel, Gabriel. Chuck, your adoptive grandfather, is God. Your great aunt Amara is the Darkness, God’s sister. My father is the light and my aunt is the dark.” He doubted Dean would believe him.

Dean crossed his arms and said firmly, “I warded my apartment against angels so you can’t be one.”

Gabriel pinched his nose and said tiredly, “Father, your grandfather, brought you here. Wards don’t work on him for obvious reasons.” Dean gave him an unconvinced look so Gabriel took a deep breath and showed Dean his wings.

Dean opened his mouth and closed it a few times. When he finally spoke he blurted out, “Why? How? Did you really kill me hundreds of times to make a point to Sammy?”

Gabriel gave a small smile, “I did. He doesn’t learn easily. I know I took the wrong approach with him.”

Dean shook his head and said to himself, “The Sam in the books and the little pieces of memory I have from before is different. I died for that Sam. I loved that Sam. Heck, I am pretty sure he was the most important thing in the world to me. Why is it so different now?”

Gabriel didn’t know how to explain children to Dean. He barely knew how to raise a human child and he had to use his grace more than once to protect the boys. Gabriel knew that if he was a human, his children wouldn’t have survived childhood. Gabriel doubted he was the best person to ask. Still, he answered the question as best he could. “Sammy is different. You have post-Lucifer’s cage Sam with the mind of a child. That is why he hallucinated Lucifer. Sammy actually met Lucifer and was tortured by Lucifer. His soul was shattered for lack of a better word. Castiel, in a moment of guilt, took Sam’s damage but the British Men of Letters undid Castiel’s gift.”

Dean knitted his brow together and said slowly, “So Sammy is broken because of Lucifer? He’s not just insane.”

Gabriel nodded carefully, “He’s not broken, Dean. He’s strong and growing up to be a good young man just like you. I want to be honest with you, but what I have to say will likely upset you.”

Dean shook his head and leaned back, “Everything you have to say is likely to upset me so shoot.”

Gabriel let out a slow breath, “Let us play good news and bad news. Amara brought your birth mother, Mary, back as a gift. She was never a great mother, at least to Sam. She was to you though. She loved you. I always had my doubts about Sammy. Anyways, the hallucinations were killing Sam. Mary found us somehow and she wanted to raise both of you herself. I refused, but I offered her an alternative. I gave her a way to save Sammy’s life. She took it and I with her full consent transferred Sam’s damage to her. She died not long after because of the damage.”

Dean stared at the floor and whispered, “She died protecting Sammy. She died for no reason because Sammy is still messed up.”

Gabriel moved and sat next to Dean. “She didn’t die for no reason. Sam would have been dead within weeks if she didn’t take on that damage. Mary gave your brother a chance to live. I admit transferring the damage didn’t clear things up as I had hoped. Chuck took mercy on Sam and repaired his soul. Sam hasn’t had a hallucination in years, but he still remembers pieces of things. The memories come in the form of night terrors. When we share a bed, I use my grace so he doesn’t have them.”

Dean let out a slow breath he asked, “So considering everything, Sam is doing okay and I’ve been a dick. Why weren’t we close this time around?”

Gabriel gave a small smile, “You didn’t have to be his father and his mother. He had a father to care for him. You had a stable home and you were able to make friends and explore interests outside of Sam. Sam has always demanded a lot of attention and although you may not want to admit it, you were jealous.”

Dean crossed his arms and pouted, “I am not jealous of that little freak.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes, “Don’t call him that. You died for him. You went to Hell for him, even if you don’t remember it. You loved him more than your own life and soul.”

Dean shook his head and changed the subject, “So how do we break the curse? I kind of want to meet badass Sammy.”

Gabriel stood up and looked out the window. He ran a finger over the condensation to the window. “The curse was very specific. Sammy was the one that was cursed first not you. The Men of Letters regressed Sammy’s mind to that of a child and made it so he would view an archangel as his father. They wanted Sammy to let Lucifer possess him. They thought they could capture my brother. I found Sammy first. My father turned both of you into children to match your minds. It was better that way. Father has forbidden Lucifer from hurting either of you.”

Dean groaned and plopped his head back, “So there is no way to break this curse?”

Gabriel winced, “I would have to possess Sammy or we can wait until you’re thirty-seven and the curse will end on its own. Dean, it is better this way. You and Sam will have so many more years. Human lives are so short, Dean. Father gave each of you two lives. Please don’t view this as a curse.”

++

Dean stared at the sky. The clouds moved across the blue sky like a silent pondering of all the questions asked each day. The questions change, the tears fall, the confusion comes, then the cycle repeats. Even in beautiful things, there is destruction. Dean wanted his memories. He wanted to know who he was. He wanted to know what his birth father was like. He wanted to know what he remembered of his mother. He wanted to know Sammy. He truly wanted to know what Sam was like.

There were things Dean didn’t want to remember like Hell. He didn’t want to remember all the killing he did. He didn’t want to remember all the times he failed in life. He didn’t want to remember every time he died. Include the hundreds of times, his father killed him to try to teach Sam a lesson. Dean paused with that thought. Sam watched him die hundreds of times. At least in the book, Sam never stopped trying to save him and avenge him. Sam loved him. Honestly, the more Dean thought about it, the more he never realized how much Sam looked at him like he hung the moon.

Dean looked down from the sky and stared at Rufus. The cat didn’t look like he aged a day. Dean joked to Rufus, “It would be something if you knew me before, huh?” Dean laughed at himself. Then he left the warmth of the outdoors to find his baby brother. Neither the sky nor a cat held the answers he craved.

As Dean could have predicted, Sammy was in his room reading. Dean marched in and plucked the book from Sam’s hand. Sam yelled at his brother, “You jerk, you don’t come over for a year and the first thing you do is harass me? Leave me alone.”

Dean chuckled and laid down on Sam’s bed making the boy scowl at him. Dean said firmly, “Don’t be like that Samantha. I missed you. I wanted to check on you.”

Sam huffed and crossed his arms, “Aunt Amara said you’ve been acting weird. She said she visited one day and you were reading occult books. She seemed to blame Grandpa for you getting into that. It just pissed me off because why is Aunt Amara visiting you but you don’t visit us or answer the door when I come by?”

Dean stared at Sam in silence. He hadn’t seen Amara all year. He hadn’t even spoken to his aunt. There was no way she could know what he was up to. Unless Amara was God which Dean doubted. Chuck was God, not Amara. Was God’s sister powerful? Dean had no idea. He felt a headache coming on. He rubbed his temples and said sincerely, “Look, Sam, I’m sorry. I really am. I want to make it up to you. What do you say, we go on a road trip? Just you and me.” He wanted to do something with Sammy like they did in the books, maybe that would spur a memory.

“No.” Sam’s reply was flat and left very little room for argument.

Dean tried to compromise, “How about a day trip then? You can even take whatever girl you’re interested in.”

Something inside of Sam snapped in that moment. Dean had never seen Sam get so emotional and angry at the same time before. “Dean, why are you always teasing me? I hate that. I’m not a girl because I like my hair longer than you or because I had mental problems because of our birth parents. I am also not interested in girls for your information. I wanted to talk to you about it but you would not even answer the door to your apartment. I want to come out to everyone but I am scared. What if everyone hates me?” Sam started crying and buried his head in his hands.

Dean opened his mouth and closed it a few times. He didn’t know what to say. He awkwardly patted Sam’s back. Honestly, this didn’t make sense. In the books Dean read about their life, Sam was straight. Stupidly Dean blurted out, “But you’re supposed to like girls.”

Sam gritted out through his tears, “Get out.”


	28. Chapter 28

Sam woke up abruptly with a raging hard-on. To his horror, it the last moments of sleep, he felt his hips rut against the bed. It was disturbing. Even more disturbing, when he realized his father was sleeping in the bed next to him. Sam groaned as he turned over and pulled a worn Riot to his chest. He willed his hard-on to go away. He just felt so disgusting.

Acting on sexual impulses in sleep was probably forgivable, but his dreams were not forgivable. He had been dreaming about his own father. What kind of son dreams about screwing their dad? Sam ran a hand over his face and shook his head. He needed to get out more or perhaps ask his dad if he could go see a therapist. Maybe it was natural to be attracted to a parent. Plenty of people married people who looked like their parents.

Perhaps that was all it was, someone like his dad would make the perfect husband. But how could anyone be as perfect as his dad? Sam didn’t really think that was possible. Embarrassingly, he slept better next to his dad. He never got nightmares when his dad was nearby which was a great thing before he became a horny teenager that dreamed of his dad fucking him. Sam covered his face with Riot and groaned. He needed to figure something out.

Sam got up from the bed and noticed his dad watching him. He stretched in a vain attempt to look casual and started to walk out of the room when his dad said with concern, “Sammy, is everything okay? You seem tense. Did you not sleep well?”

Sam blushed and shook his head. He didn’t want to admit his dream to his dad. The birds and the bees talk were horrifying enough. His dad had pictures of each type of STD and went over how to prevent transmission. It left Sam never wanting to have sex with anyone except his dad apparently. He muttered tiredly, “I’m fine. I am going to go for a run.”

Gabriel smiled at Sam and said kindly, “Sure thing kiddo, I will have breakfast for you when you get back.”

Sam wandered into his room and changed into his workout clothes. He petted Rufus briefly before stretching. On a whim, he slipped a kitty harness on Rufus and decided to take him on a run with him. Sam stepped out of his home and stretched while Rufus meowed at him. Then he took off running. He watched as cars slowed as he ran with Rufus on a leash. Rufus was a strange cat. Sam always wondered if Rufus was a person. The cat was very vocal and to top things off Rufus liked to run. His grandfather even featured Rufus in his cat blog. Sam thought that was pretty neat. Although, it didn’t seem like Rufus appreciated the fame when Sam told him about it.

As Sam ran, he thought about this problem. He honestly didn’t know what to think about everything. He knew he should probably move out or something. It was just, he didn’t feel he could. Night terrors still plagued him and sometimes, he could still hear whispers from Lucifer. He made sure to keep that secret. His nightmares were the worst though. He dreamed that he had a different father and he lived in a car with his brother. They hunted monsters which were ridiculous. Everyone knew monsters weren’t real.

Sam turned his head when he heard a loud rumble. It was a classic car. It was one of those cars old men who needed Viagra would buy to try to impress the ladies only to realize later that the ladies didn’t care what car they drove. The muscle car slowed next to him and Sam glanced over to see Dean roll down the window. Sam rolled his eyes and stopped running. Rufus meowed frantically next him but Sam ignored the cat. He leaned in the car and his senses were hit with a familiar scent. Sam shook his head and asked, “Having trouble getting it up, Dean?”

Dean snapped at him. “No bitch. Don’t you dare disrespect Baby like that. Get in the car. I want to take you for a ride.”

Sam snickered and got in the car. He sat Rufus on his lap. The cat glared at Dean and let out a loud meow. Sam lightly petted Rufus and said to the cat, “It’s okay Rufus. Dean is just having a quarter-life crisis.” Sam paused his petting when he felt a sting in his arm. He turned to see Dean injecting something into him. For a moment, Sam didn’t know what to do. He didn’t understand why his brother would want to hurt him. He felt his world go fuzzy and he slurred, “Dean?”

Dean smiled sadly and guided Sam’s head to the back of the seat. He said softly, “It is okay, Sammy.”

++

Sam woke up with a raging headache in an unfamiliar bedroom. He got up slowly. He noticed a glass of water on the nightstand and slowly took a drink. The bedroom didn’t have any windows and looked like no one had been in here in over a decade. Sam stood up and started exploring. He found a chest at the foot of the bed. Sam slowly opened it as he hoped Dean didn’t hear him wandering around.

He stared at the contents of the chest for a moment in confusion. He remembered this chest from his dreams or what he had always assumed were nightmares. Sam picked up a stack of photographs. He shifted through them slowly. There were pictures of Sam with Dean and Uncle Bobby only these pictures were from decades ago, long before Sam thought he was born. He saw pictures of him with a man from his nightmares, the man that was never there but still his father. His mind supplied the name, John, even though Sam wasn’t sure where that name came from. He saw a photo of a blonde-haired woman with the man. He saw a picture of the man, the woman, Dean and himself as a baby.  Sam knew he was adopted it was just weird to see the pictures and the timeline didn’t match. Sam picked up a photograph of Dean with a dark-haired man in a trench coat. He felt his heart clench and he shook his head. He didn’t know who this man was.

Perhaps, the oddest thing about this whole situation was in the stack of photos were pictures where Sam looked older than he was now. He didn’t know what to make of that. Rationally, he knew these pictures must belong to someone that looked like him. Sam wandered his way out of the bedroom and down a hallway. He glanced around and thought he must be in a bunker of some sort.

Slowly, Sam made his way down to a library. He saw Rufus inside a circle of fire and Dean holding a knife in his hands. Sam was in shock as Dean said coldly to a cat, “Tell me your name, monster.”

Sam slipped back around the corner. He had to get out of here. Dean was off the reservation. He flinched when he heard a stabbing sound followed by a painful meow. The meow only lasted for a moment and Sam knew in that Dean just killed his cat. Sam fought back tears as he moved back down the hallway only to stop dead in his tracks when he heard a deep gravelly voice, “Hello Dean.”

++

Dean dropped the knife on the ground. He didn’t actually expect that spell to work. It would turn an angel possessing a cat back into their last human vessel. The completely naked angel in front of him surprised him. Honestly, he expected to kill his cat and for Sammy to hate him. He didn’t expect a freaking angel to show up in front of him. It explained a lot actually. For the life of him, Dean couldn’t think of much to say. He opened his mouth and closed it a few times before he finally managed to ask, “Who are you?”

The angel tilted his head to the side, “I am the one that raised you from perdition.”

Dean read about this in the Supernatural books. He snapped his fingers and said happily, “You’re Castiel. Why were you possessing a cat?”

The angel frowned and said slowly, “I wasn’t by choice. I was changed into a cat by Gabriel. Dean, you shouldn’t have done this. This isn’t going to end well for Sam. You need to release me so I can call Gabriel.”

Dean figured he could trust this angel. He put out the fire surrounding the angel and watched as the naked angel snapped his fingers. Clothes appeared on the angel, complete with the trench coat Dean vaguely remembered Castiel wearing. Castiel walked past him and Dean followed like a lost puppy.

They found Sam in the hallway having a panic attack. Dean was shocked as Sam edged himself away from them. Dean felt like a failure when Sam pushed himself up against the wall and stammered, “This can’t be real. Dean wouldn’t kidnap me and kill my cat. This isn’t real.”

Dean took a step towards Sam with his hands up. He knew he sounded nuts when he said, “Sammy, I’m sorry. It is a misunderstanding. Rufus is actually Castiel here. Rufus was an angel. He’s in a human form now. His name is Cas.”

Sam screeched at him, “Can you hear yourself, Dean? Our cat an angel? Let me guess, I bet you think Dad is some sort of angel too? Is Grandpa God?”

Dean shrugged and said, “Yeah, that is pretty much it.”

Sam started to go pale as Castiel added, “Gabriel is an archangel.” Before either of them could say anything more Sam fainted. He wasn’t sure if it was the drugs or if Sam had enough. Either way, Sam was unconscious on the floor. Castiel looked thoughtfully at Sam for a moment before Castiel said casually, “I believe this may incite Gabriel’s wrath.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it has been so long. Writer's block and all that. We only have one or two more chapters left in this story.


	29. Chapter 29

Gabriel heard Castiel’s prayer and arrived at the Men of Letter’s Bunker with a snap of his fingers. He found Sam and Dean easily enough. They were at the end of a hallway. Dean held Sam in his arms while Sam seemed to be having a full hallucination. It was the curse and Gabriel closed his eyes for a moment. He knew he didn’t have a choice. He walked past Castiel and knelt down next to Sam and Dean. He took Sam in his arms and rocked him gently. Gabriel kept his voice soft when he said, “It’s okay, Sammy. Nothing is going to hurt you.”

Sam blinked blurrily at him a couple times and stammered, “I… He’s here. It’s cold. I… Dad… You’re not my dad… My dad died for Dean… I… You killed Dean… Many times… He… The cold man killed you… Can’t say his name…”

Gabriel frowned slightly and glanced at Dean. He looked back down at Sammy and kept his voice soft. “I know, Sammy. I know. I want you to trust me, okay? I won’t hurt you. I promise. I need you to agree to something. I need you to give me permission to let me possess you. It will only be for a moment.”

Sam shook his head and said a quiet, “Okay.”

Gabriel smiled slightly, “You need to say yes, Sammy.”

Sam scrunched up his brow and said slowly, “Yes.”

Light filled the hallway as Gabriel took over Sam’s body. He always hated taking a new vessel. It was the memories that flooded his grace that he couldn’t stand. All of Sam’s life flashed before his eyes. All of Sam’s fears. All of his wants. Everything. He could feel it as if it was himself the first time Sam had his first kiss and first love. He could feel Sam’s loss as those around him died. He could feel exactly what Sam felt for him. His suspicions where correct. Sam had a little crush on him. It didn’t feel like the love Sam had for Jessica, but it was there. Small but there.

Then Gabriel saw Sam’s Hell. He saw what his brother did to Sam. He saw and felt everything. It made Gabriel’s grace want to curl into itself because this was not the Lucifer he once loved. This wasn’t the Lucifer that taught him how to fly. This wasn’t the big brother he admired. No, this reminded him of his Aunt Amara in a snit over one of his father’s creations.

Gabriel saw how little value Sam placed on his own life. He felt Sam’s growing sense of worthlessness. How Sam never felt like he fit in the world. He felt Sam’s fear when he realized Lucifer was free. He felt Sam’s sorrow when he thought Dean died. He saw what happened between Sam and the British Men of Letters. Sam wanted them to kill him. The thought of that made Gabriel’s grace cry out.

Things got better from there. Sam’s memories changed and were happy. Gabriel could see the darkness surrounding Sam’s mind from the curse, but it seemed Castiel and himself were the light in the dark place. Gabriel already knew of Sam’s struggles with school and fitting in with other children. It wasn’t that Gabriel wanted Sam to be isolated. Rather, it was a side effect of hallucinations. After seeing all of Sam’s memories, Gabriel was convinced children could be just as cruel as Lucifer. The scars on Sam’s soul looked the same. Gabriel wished he could heal those scars with is grace but there were somethings, his grace couldn’t do.

Slowly, Gabriel opened his eyes. He saw the world through Sam’s eyes. He saw his old vessel sit up slowly and rub his head. Gabriel said carefully,”הבל, אני צריך שתיתן לי להחזיק אותך שוב.” Translated into English, Gabriel asked Abel to let him possess him once more.

Abel looked up at Gabriel with the same golden-brown eyes, he saw in the mirror for millennias. The man smiled at him and said in a thick Middle Eastern accent, “אבל אני חייב להבטיח לי משהו קודם.” Abel asked Gabriel for a promise before being possessed again.

Dean grunted, “What are you saying?”

Gabriel was about to answer when Abel did. The English were unpracticed but clear, “I am sorry. My name is Abel. You are the man that killed my brother.”

Dean glared and Gabriel had to resist the urge to laugh, “I never killed anyone.”

Gabriel did laugh at that. It felt different hearing his laugh coming from Sam’s chest. He calmed his laughter and said slowly, “You have killed many, Dean. You did kill Cain. After my father brought me back, I gave him a proper funeral for Abel.”

Dean shrugged and muttered at Abel, “Sorry man, but you need to let my dad possess you so he can get out of my little brother.”

Abel tilted his head to the side and smiled, “I will. I have one request.”

Gabriel licked his lips and healed the chapping. He made a mental note to get on Sam about using lip balm later. He spoke calmly, “I have never denied you, Abel. We are a team.”

Abel rolled his eyes and perked up, “I don’t want you to run away.”

Gabriel squinted his eyes at his former vessel and asked, “Come again.”

Abel sighed, “I know angels. I know you. You… How to do you say… You run away when your work is done. I had children. I loved my children. Cain and I loved the same woman, but that is another story. I miss my children and now the world is full of my decedents. Sam and Dean are my decedents. I helped raise them. I don’t want to run away from them. Your work is not done.”

Gabriel sighed, “Of course, Abel. I will stay for as long as my presence does not annoy them.”

Abel smiled, כן, אני נותן לך את עצמי.”

Gabriel felt his grace leave Sam and enter Abel once more in a ray of light. He felt at home as he possessed Abel once more. Gabriel caught Sam in his arms as Castiel caught Dean. Both of the boys shook and gurgled as the memories of their former lives came back. Gabriel didn’t know what they would think or say to him. All he could do was wait.

++

It was Dean that woke up first. He shook out of Castiel’s hold and declared, “No chick flicks.” His voice was lower than it was recently, it like it was before. Dean frowned at Gabriel and Sam. He asked out of concern, “Is he okay?”

Gabriel glanced up at Dean and nodded, “He will be.”

Dean groaned as he stood up and stretched, “The only upside to this whole thing is I got a younger body. I am going to start researching the Brits so I can kill them all slowly.”

Castiel chimed in helpfully, “Gabriel killed them. You don’t have to worry.”

Dean shook his head and asked, “Why did you turn Castiel into a cat?”

Gabriel smiled widely, “He reminds me of a cute kitten with his little head tilt.”

Dean didn’t know what to say to that so he decided to wander away to come to terms with his conflicting thoughts. He felt torn and confused. He felt like he had two different lives jammed into his head. One where he was Dean Winchester and One where he was Dean Singer. Dean Winchester was a boy with a drunk father and a dead mom. That Dean raised his little brother while homeless and looked up to his father like he was a god. Dean Singer was an orphan that was adopted by a loving father. He never had to worry about going hungry or having a home. He had a cat and a good life. Really, Dean much preferred Dean Singer’s life over Dean Winchester’s life. Dean wondered if Sammy felt the same. He didn’t know and Dean needed time to wrap his mind around the idea of the most annoying archangel being his dad.

++

A few hours later they sat down to dinner at a local diner. Sam just wanted something to connect him to Sam Winchester. It seemed normal enough. Sam didn’t know how to address his feelings towards his dad or if they should even be addressed. It seemed that with the curse broken, he didn’t feel that nagging in his mind where Lucifer danced around. Sam thought his head felt clearer. Sam glanced up from his menu when Dean slammed it down and declared, “I hate this.”

The waitress came over before Dean could grumble more and asked, “Do you know what you would like to order?”

Dean sighed and said grumpily, “A veggie burger with extra onions and fries.”  Sam smiled slightly at Dean’s order. It seemed that Gabriel did manage to change Dean. Sam just wasn’t sure if Dean liked the change or not. He was certain though that Dean’s organs would appreciate Dean’s reluctance to eat meat.

++

Sam laid on the bed in his old room and stared at the empty walls. He crossed his fingers over his chest and tried to rest, but he couldn’t. He heard a knock on the door and watched as Gabriel hesitantly entered. Sam sat up a little on the bed as Gabriel sat down next to him and sat a worn Riot on his lap. Gabriel’s voice was soft, “I saw inside your head, Sam. I know you are probably confused. Do you want to talk about it?”

Sam shrugged and grabbed hold of the stuffed toy. He didn’t care that he was way too old for it. He smiled slightly as he played with the ear, “I am confused. I feel like I have so much inside my mind. It’s like a bad B movie. I cared about you and I wanted to have sex with you… Sorry, I didn’t mean to be that blunt.”

Gabriel leaned back against the pillows and said calmly, “You’re fine, Samshine.”

Sam leaned up against Gabriel and rested his head on the angel’s shoulder. “Thanks, Dad. It’s just after that you became my dad and I kept having feelings as I got older about lusting after my dad and I didn’t know where that came from. I think… I think it came from my life before when I was Sam Winchester and I don’t know if those feelings are wrong or not. Are they wrong?”

Gabriel shrugged and said casually, “Abel says he married his sister. I think that is his way of green lighting incest. Anyways, Sam, it is okay to be confused. I am not going to force you to do anything or demand any more a relationship with you than father and son. I raised you and I love you. I haven’t loved anything as much as I love you in a very long time. We have time, Sam.”

Sam stared at a spot on the ceiling that only he could see, “But life is short.”

Gabriel chuckled, “We have forever, Sammy. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah... The End. 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoyed. May write one-shots later on as inspiration hits of Sam and Dean coming to terms with living two different lives. I felt that sort of development with the characters didn't fit into this storyline so it is reserved for another story. 
> 
> Anyways, thank you all for the kudos and non-trolling comments. It brightens my day. :)

**Author's Note:**

> I have an outline of where I want this story to go, but I want to try something I haven't done before. It may or may not work. We shall see. Anyways, leave me a comment below on a situation you would like to see Sam and Gabriel in. I can't promise it will be written exactly how asked or that it will be used but I want to hear your suggestions and incorporate them while moving toward the end goal of the story. (If that makes any sense.)
> 
> I have a track record of writing really dark and messed up stuff. I want to try to keep this one fluffy and as non-traumatizing as possible so hopefully by using prompts it will help the fluff stay fluffy..


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